Healing
by Whoneedsasword
Summary: Chibs and Fiona. Fiona and Chibs.This will be some missing moments from seasons 2 and 3, exploring the thoughts, feelings, and actions of a badass Scotsman.
1. Chapter 1

**So basically, I have never published a story here. Basically, I love this show and Chibs is one of my favorite characters. I loved the whole story arc with him being married and having a kid. It showed some real depth to him I think. And also (maybe I am the only one) but I really loved Fiona too. Their dynamics were awesome. Anyway, I decided I wanted to play around a little bit. This will be pretty much some missing moments and delve deeper into some good scenes on the show. Anyway, I hope this is good. I hope that you enjoy it! Thanks guys!**

Being in a coma was easy. There was no time, there were no problems. There was no pain. The blackness was comforting. No consciousness meant no dreams, questions, concerns, or worries. It was just a complete emptiness, which to some people might seem scary. But not him. He was used to it.

Waking up was NOT easy. It was like all of a sudden, everything came rushing back to him. He has been blown up. His club was in a world of trouble, between white power, Irish, guns, Mexicans, and the ATF. And then there the pain. It wasn't that he expected getting blown up by a car bomb to be a walk in the park, but the pain was damn near intolerable. It took every single bit of manly machismo and pride he has not to burst in to tears and wail at the pain.

But thank God he didn't. No, the absolute hardest (and, yes, he hated to admit it, but best) part about waking up was opening his eyes and seeing_ her_. Fiona Larkin…or Telford? Could be O'Phalen, for all he knew. Which was she going by these days? It took him a few minutes to realize that yes, he was awake and not in fact dreaming. She really was there. He could see her, smell her even! And now she was talking to him. Moving closer to him. Touching him. _Kissing_ him. It was too much. Just too much.

He knew that she was talking to him, and he was even aware that he was answering her. He couldn't even tell you what he was saying. He was too caught up with the fact that _she was here_. She came from half a world away to see him. To make sure he was okay. And God, that thought was wonderfulpainfulamazingterri ble and about a thousand other words he could not even fathom. He didn't know whether he was thrilled or traumatized by her presence. Because, whether he wanted to admit it or not, he knew that when it came down to it, he still loved her. He always had, and he probably always would. And he couldn't tell you whether or not she felt the same.

He was just overwhelmed. The physical pain was there, but the emotional pain/joy existing simultaneously and waging war for ground in his heart was too much for him. He mumbled something and closed his eyes, letting the blackness take over.

"Sleep, Love," she said, softly touching his face.

So he did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the next little bit. I am still pretty new at all of this, so I hope I am doing this right! :-)**

This time, there was no blackness. No unconsciousness and relief of pain. This time, when he slept, there were dreams. Beautiful, horrible, inescapable dreams. Dreams of her. Dreams of them together. Dreams of their Kerryanne. Dreams of the family that they had wanted, the family that they had had, and the family that they had lost. It was like he got to relive, in slow motion, every moment of their lives together, good, bad, and ugly.

When he woke up, he wasn't quite sure if he was enraged or overjoyed to find that he was alone in the room. She was nowhere to be found. He thought, for a brief moment, that maybe he had just imagined her being there, but all at once he knew that he was kidding himself. He could see where she had been sitting, her magazine still open in the chair. He swore he could still detect traces of her scent amidst the sterile, sick hospital smell. _Apples. Always apples._ But more than that, the scarf that she had been wearing was still draped over the back of the chair.

God he hurt. His head felt like it was caving in, which considering the fact that he had been in an exploding car, might be much more of a concern then he wanted to admit. He was not sure if he could move without vomiting, but he really had to pee, and besides, his throat felt like razor blades. With his current head trauma, he decided that getting himself out of bed was not the best idea. Besides, he was hooked up too way too many machines and IV's to even begin to untangle himself. But he did manage to push the nurse call button.

He supposed that he shouldn't have been surprised when, instead of a nurse, Gemma Teller waltzed into his hospital room, concern belying the smile on her lips.

"Hey Baby, glad to see you awake," she said, kissing him on the forehead.

"Gemma," he replied, not sounding like himself, due to the whole razorblade thing happening with his throat.

"The one and only. How are you feeling?"

"Lovely. Drink?"

"Sorry, it's not whiskey, but it should help anyway. The guys will be really happy to know that you are awake. We were all worried about you." Gemma said, holding a Styrofoam cup with a straw lips so he could drink the offered water.

"Thanks."

Hundreds of questions and thoughts were spinning themselves in his brain, making quite a mess, but only one could work its way to his mouth.

"She was here. Wasn't she?" he asked, not at all liking how vulnerable and hopeful he sounded.

"Yeah, Baby. She was here. But don't worry about that now. We need to get your doctor in here to check on your head. I will go let Tara know."

"Wait. Gemma…did she…is she…" he stammered, desperate for any amount of truth.

Gemma froze. She turned to look at him with an unfathomable look in her eyes. Was it pity?

"She is still in town. You will see her again, if that is what you want. I will make sure of it, I promise," Gemma said with a sigh. "So try not to worry. Just relax, while I get the doctor."

Relax. Now that was an idea. He wished that he could. But now that he was alone in the room, with just random hospital beeps and the ache in his head for company, he began to feel a very unwelcome feeling overtake him

Fear.

If _she_ was here, that had to mean _he_ was here as well.

Jimmy O'Phalen.

And if Filip knew anything at all, he knew that wherever Jimmy O went, trouble was sure to follow. Not the "Mum caught me with my hand in the cookie jar" kind of trouble. More along the lines of "I was left for dead with my face slashed open by the bastard who stole my wife and daughter" kind of trouble. Trouble like this was not something Filip needed more of. It was not something Fiona needed more of. And it sure as hell was not something SAMCRO needed more of.

"Fuck," whispered Filip, his eyes sinking closed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is the next one! I am really having a lot of fun with this, and I hope you guys are too. Also, bug thanks to my reviewer! It made my day! Anyway, go read! BTW, this is my favorite part that I have written. Enjoy!**

The next time Fiona came to see him in the hospital, he pretended to be asleep.

It was not something that he was proud of. To be quite truthful, he hadn't been expecting her to come again. Gemma has said she would, but really, what the hell did Gemma know? He had warned Jax about The Bastard being in town. He had, probably foolishly, hoped that Jax had settled things with Jimmy and send him on his way, but Filip knew in his heart that he wasn't that lucky.

He was, as could be expected, lying in bed listening to reruns of The Cosby Show on the useless hospital TV when he heard twin footsteps approaching his room. The light, feminine taps of a lady, accompanied by the heavy, shuffling thumps of a man's boots stopped just outside of his door.

"Five minutes Fiona. He said you could have five minutes. I will come in there and drag you out myself if you are even a moment longer," said a deep, rough Irish voice.

"I will take as long as I like Luke, and you won't have a thing to say about it, because we both know that I am carrying enough lead in my purse and enough hatred in my heart to shoot you dead ten times over, you stupid bastard. Now run along like a good boy, I will find you when I finish," came the reply. There it was. His Fiona shining through. He was torn between being horrified at her arrival and both incredibly proud of and immensely turned on by her words. He couldn't even see her, and he knew she was sill sexy as hell.

He heard a grunted reply before the door clicked open and his eyes instinctively shut. The door closed softly behind her, and the scent of fresh apples filled the room. He knew that it was only her shampoo, but she always, always, always smelled of apples, even in his mind.

He heard her sit nearly silently in the chair to the left of his bed. After a moment, he felt her light, almost hesitant touch on his wrist, before her hand slid into his. _Keep your eyes shut, Idiot. _

"Sleeping still, I see. Maybe that's okay, though. You need it. It takes time to heal from nearly being blown to pieces, I would imagine," she said dryly, not quite managing to pull off the right amount of humor. "I hope you don't mind, but I am going to keep talking, Love. You see, it's been awhile, and I do miss our little talks."

He willed himself not to open his mouth and tell her that he missed them too. So he let her keep on talking.

"I spoke to our Kerryanne earlier today. She asked about you. She is still furious at me, of course. When we first heard what happened, she fought me hard when I told her that she would under no circumstances be coming over here. If looks could kill…well. I think I would have been dead a long time ago. It's not that I didn't want her to come. I just wasn't sure how I would find you when we got here. And, well, it just isn't safe, is it? She doesn't understand. For all her teenage angst and agony, she is just a girl. She sends you her love, Filip."

She was quiet for a while. Filip thought on her words. So his baby missed him. Had wanted to come see him even. That thought both warmed and broke his heart. _I miss you too, Kerry._

When Fiona started talking again, her words startled him.

"She reminds me so goddamn much of you sometimes. It drives Jimmy up a fucking wall. But you shine through. Especially when she mouths off. Or when she rolls her eyes. You always did do that very well. But mostly, I see you when she smiles or laughs really hard. Her eyes squint just a little and her face just lights up and she throws her head back. It's you all over again. It always amazes me that miles and years apart, and she is still your little girl."

_Damn right she is. Mine. Ours. MINE. You should have remembered that. HE should have remembered that._

Before the anger could really take hold and flare up, he heard her voice again.

"And now I will get down to it, Love, because no matter how many tough words I wield, Luke will come barging in here any minute now, because it's his job. And you are asleep anyway, so I can say this without hesitation or fear. I am sorry. I never told you that. I fucked this up well and good. As easy as it would be for me to blame you for this shit storm my life has turned in to, I know that it was my choice, and I am so, so sorry. I am sorry that our beautiful girl has been without her Da. I am sorry that I have been without my husband. And I am sorry that you have been without your family. I was a stupid girl playing stupid games. I never thought that it could turn out like this. I am sorry, Filip. Know that we love you…that I love you. Just get better, yeah? Just get better."

He was pretty sure that his breathing had stopped, and he was feeling really lucky that he had unhooked that stupid heart monitor with all of its stupid beeping. With all the skipping and racing that his heart was doing at the present moment, it could have been very embarrassing for him.

And all the more embarrassing when her hand left his and traveled to his face. He felt her fingers brush hair away from his eyes, caress his cheek, and finally, gently trace his lips, stopping momentarily to graze the tiny scar on his lower lip that her teeth had left many, many year ago. _Keep your eyes, shut! And under no circumstances are you to get an erection, Stupid Fuck!_

He was saved by the door swinging open.

"Time to go, Fiona. Jimmy needs me back," he heard the goon say.

"Alright, just another quick moment to say goodbye, then I will come all quiet and docile," she replied.

_Right. That will be the day._

The door clanked shut again. He felt her stand and lean closer to him, her hand on his cheek now. The scent of apples nearly overwhelmed him when he felt her lips on his cheek, just north of his scar. Then, she surprised him.

"I know you are awake, Love. Have been this whole time, haven't you? I slept next to you for years, I can tell the difference," she whispered in his ear. "You need to be alert, Filip. Stay on your guard. He is livid that I insisted on coming here, and the only reason that I got away with it is because he thought you wouldn't survive. He should have known better. But you cannot be careless about this. He is here, with a big crew and even bigger guns, and he wants something from the Sons. Whatever happens is going to happen, but _do not_ get caught in the crossfire. Because he will kill you if he can, Love, I promise you that. And we couldn't take that, Kerryanne and I. So stay safe, and we will do the same."

He felt her lips softly graze his, not a real kiss, but damn sure close, before she pulled away and was gone.

She left the scent of apples and a stunned man behind her. At that moment, he couldn't quite bring himself to be worried about Jimmy O trying to kill him (again), when Fiona was doing a damned good job of it herself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is the next piece! I have about 10,000 words written so far, and I am updating as fast as I can. I have always had difficulty editing my own writing, so I am updating this as fast as I can...while still writing! Thanks for reading guys and I really appreciate it, especially those of you who have reviewed! Enjoy!**

It didn't take long for the anger to set in. It started out as minor annoyance, but within a few days of Fiona's little visit, it had grown to something real and tangible. It was bad enough that she, his wife, the mother of his child, had betrayed him all those years ago. It was more than bad enough that she had played a part in keeping his daughter from him. Those two things should have been enough to ensure his hatred.

But now she had shown up here. To see him, to check in on him, to tell him she was sorry and they missed him and loved him. Seriously? What the fuck? What did she expect? Who was she to come here, after all this time and tell him these things?

But he knew. No matter what, he had always known exactly who she was. Fiona. His Fiona. His wife.

But that didn't mean he wasn't angry. And maybe more than a little bit hurt, which made him all the more angry. He should be over this. He thought that this was over and done with. She broke his heart in as many ways as she could, but that was years ago. He thought that he was fine now.

But, as usual, he was wrong. Because here she was, tearing open old wounds and wrecking him all over again. And here he was, just letting her.

_Does anything ever change?_

At least he would be out of here tomorrow, a bright spot on the horizon to say the least. It had been almost three weeks since he had seen the outside of this hospital room, and he was more than ready to see the outside world again, get drunk with his brothers again, watch a crow eater work the pole again, ride his bike again.

Find her again. Yell at her. Scream at here. Rage at her. Kiss her. Make her remember what she had been missing these many years.

If only, if only. He knew that there was no way that could happen. He cared too much about her, their daughter, and both of their safety to risk anything. It was better to just forget her again. Forget she even existed.

His thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. Tara entered with a smile.

"Hey Chibs. How are you feeling today?"

"Good Doc. That terrible pain in my eyes seems to be gone, just like that."

"Funny how that happens, isn't it? I am glad you are feeling better. Your latest MRI looks good, you healed much better than expected, actually. You ready to get out of here tomorrow?"

"More than ready. Not that I haven't enjoyed your hospitality, Doc. And your help. Wouldn't have made it without you, you know."

"Yeah, about that. Why was it such a big deal? I mean, I know that Stockton isn't exactly paradise on Earth, and it's kind of far away. Is it a club thing? Are you going to be okay when you leave here?"

Filip looked at her shrewdly. He wondered how much she knew, or suspected, about what was going on with the club, what was going on with him.

"Not really. It's much more complicated than that, unfortunately. But don't worry your pretty head over it, Tara. I will be fine, just as soon as I get out of here. Nothing a little bit of home can't cure."

She looked at him like she didn't quite believe him. That was okay. She didn't have to believe him.

"Listen, whatever is going on, I don't need to know. I am pretty sure that you wouldn't tell me if I asked anyway. But you will be careful, right? You are healing well, but you aren't 100% yet. We don't need you reinjuring yourself by doing something stupid. So no bareknuckle boxing, no fist fights, no gun fights, no rigging explosives, no random showdowns in the street, no drive-bys. No driving at all, actually. Just take it easy. Stay as stress free as humanly possible, okay?" she asked, half joking.

"Absolutely, Darlin. Stress free is my middle name."

As Tara left, Filip idly wondered exactly what stress free would feel like.


	5. Chapter 5

**Short-ish one this time. Edited while I was supposed to be teaching my first grade class how to subtract. Instead, they watched a video, and I read and edited and obsessed a few times over. Hopefully it is okay! Also, I appreciate the reviews guys! You all are the best! Enjoy!**

Pissed did not even begin to cover it. It seemed like every single aspect of his life decided to fuck with him at the exact same time. His club had been keeping things from him. His VP was going Nomad. His source of sexual healing had burned to the ground. That little shit Eddie Hayes was selling their guns to white power. And oh yeah, Jimmy O'FuckingPhalen.

That smug bastard had been standing there, not four feet from him. Mind you there were several guns points in several directions, but Filip would have liked nothing more than to tear him apart right where he stood.

He wasn't stupid. SAMCRO dealt guns. Irish guns. And dealing Irish gun, unfortunately, meant dealing with Jimmy O'Phalen. He understood. Guns put food on their table, whiskey in their glasses, and cash in their pockets. He really did understand. But he didn't have to like it. He didn't like the fact that his club, his brothers, did business with the man who had taken everything from him and had very nearly taken his life. It was infantile and selfish, but it felt almost like a betrayal to him.

He had been standing right there. Nice suit, making smartass remarks, and Filip had wanted nothing more than to point the gun in his hand right at him and blow his fucking head off, consequences be damned. But instead, he had but his gun away and walked like a good boy.

Goddamn, he wanted a drink. And to hit somebody.

Sitting on his ass in the shady garage, while Clay and Halfsack and Opie argued over some repo shit may have been stress free, but it sure was mind numbingly boring, and it was doing nothing for his rage issues.

He was granted a reprieve from his boredom by his phone ringing. Not a number he recognized, but what the hell.

"Hello?"

"Well hello. Filip Telford, as I live and breath. It's good to hear your voice, Love."

"Fi…"

"Aye. You're out of the hospital and up and around again, I hear. That's good."

"Aye. What…," he had a million things he wanted to say, literally about a million. He just settled for the most straightforward and possibly rude thing he could think of. "do you want?"

"To see you. Come meet me."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I asked you to."

"What if I don't want to see you?"

"Then just say the word, Love."

Damn. She always could call his bluff.

"Fine. Where?"

"Simon's Bar? Up off 7th. Run down place, rather gross, actually. Know it?"

"Of course. Give me 20 minutes. Do yourself a favor, try not to touch anything. Tig got crabs there once, I do believe."

"Charming. Thanks for the tip. I will keep it in mind. See you soon."

"Yeah okay."

He knew it couldn't be that easy. He knew that he was very likely walking into some sort of trap, complete with pits, wooden spikes, poisonous snakes and everything else. He knew it was one of the stupidest, most reckless things he could possibly do, but he was going to go meet his wife.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys! Here is the next part. I was gonna post it yesterday, but I was recovering from Tuesday's episode! It was pretty brutal. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Reviews would be awesome!**

He was beginning to regret not taking the drink that had been offered. Luckily, he thought as he watched Jimmy and his henchman strut from the shithole bar, the bottle was still on the table. Not even bothering with a glass, he took a long swig from the bottle.

"Save some for me," her voice said as she pulled the bottle away from his lips and out of his hands.

He didn't say anything as she slid into the seat across from him, the very one that has just been occupied by her boyfriend and his mortal enemy. He handed her a moderately clean glass from the table. He watched silently as she poured the amber liquid into the glass. He didn't, _couldn't_, say anything. If he opened his mouth, he wasn't sure what exactly would come out. Screams of rage? Violent words? Pathetic declarations? No, he would just sit quietly.

As she raised the glass to the lips and downed it like a true Irish woman, he took a moment to study her. It wasn't fair that she was still so beautiful. It has been a good ten years, but he was amazed at the fact that she still looked the same. Sure, her smile was a little bit off, but with good reason, probably. Everything else was pretty much the same though. The same insane, curly hair, albeit a little more gray than he remembered. The same soft, coffee colored skin. The same stunning, brown eyes. Eyes that met his across the table. He looked away first.

He was thrown when she didn't say anything. She just poured herself some more whiskey and drank it, slowly this time, all the while, her eyes never leaving him. He hated that he was so unnerved by it. What did she see when she looked at him?

He finally spoke up.

"Are you okay?" he asked, because he really did want to know. He had seen red when Luke had grabbed her and dragged her away.

She laughed. There was no humor in it at all.

"After what you have been through in the past few weeks, not to mention the past few minutes, you are asking me if I am okay? Yes, Love. I am okay. Worse has happened."

"So. I suppose that you overheard that little conversation."

"Aye. I heard. And it's not the first time I have heard it. It's all part of Jimmy's song and dance."

"And this is the man you chose, Fiona? This is who you picked? This is what you wanted, for yourself? For our daughter? Jesus fucking Christ," he said, his anger finally seeping into his voice.

That would have been the end of it. He would have just let it go. Really. But as the words left his mouth, he casually raised his arm to reach for the bottle of whiskey on the table between them, and that's when he saw it.

She flinched.

Somebody else might not have noticed, but he knew her, almost as well as he knew himself. And he sure as hell noticed. He saw her flinch. And she knew he saw.

He looked at her in disbelief for almost a full minute before he finally spoke.

"You have known me for almost 30 year Fiona. Even once, in that entire time, have I ever raised a hand to you? Have I ever even looked like I might lay a finger on you?"

"No, Love. No. You haven't."

"That's right. I haven't. Open your Goddamned eyes, Fiona. Look at who is sitting here. You know me, better than anybody, and you should damn well know this by now. I have never, would never, will never hit you. I am not him, Fiona."

His words didn't change the fact that she looked like she had just been punched in the stomach. The pain that was etched on her face was evident, and he couldn't deny that it sort of killed him that he had played a part in putting it there. He had very rarely stopped to consider what her life had been like all these years. When he pictured her life at all, he was usually in the throes of self-pity and he imagined her blissfully happy, laughing her ass off at his misery. It kind of struck him to see that maybe she wasn't so blissfully happy. Maybe she wasn't such a cold hearted bitch.

"I know that. I know Filip. You are a good man. The very best, actually. I know that. I haven't forgotten that, at least," she said, with a sad smile.

He opened a mouth to say…something. But it never came out. His phone rang. Breaking eye contact with her, he answered.

"Yeah, Jackie-Boy. What is it?"

"Need you back here soon, Chibs. Church at 4. Where you at, anyway, Bro?"

"Oh, you know, Easy Street, brother. I'll be there soon."

"Yeah. See you soon."

He closed his phone and set it on the table. He took a deep breath and let it out, looking at her again. She reached over and took his hand. He let her. He had to leave, but he didn't want to leave things this way, awkward and murky and confused. He knew she wasn't safe, and he knew his daughter wasn't safe. No, he couldn't leave things this way. After all, who knew when (he refused to think if) he would see her again?

"You need to go, then?"

"Aye. Listen Fi…it's okay. It will be fine. You're going to be okay, and Kerry…well. If he so much as lays a finger on her, I will kill him. Or you will. I know you, Fi. You're a damn good Mum. And, well. If you need me, you know where I am, yeah?"

"Yeah. I always know where you are," she replied with a wistful smile.

He squeezed her hand, got up and walked out, willing himself all the while to not turn and look back, but as usual, she broke his will with very little effort.

"Filip! It's not true," she called to him when he was only a couple feet from the door.

With no small amount of effort, he turned back to her.

"What's not true?" he asked her.

She smiled at him over the back of the booth and replied, "She doesn't call him Da. Never has. Never will, if I can do anything about it. She remembers you, hears about you often. Our daughter knows who she belongs to."

That meant more to him then he could adequately express. He just stared at her for a moment, before nodding his thanks at her. He gave her a half smile, turned, and left the bar.

He waited until he was at his bike before taking the business card out of his pocket and dialing. What he was doing was going against every fiber of his being. He knew that he was making a deal with the devil, but for that woman in there, and that (not so little) girl thousands of miles away, there was no end to what he would do.

"Yeah, Stahl. Come meet me. Now."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi guys! Hope that everybody is doing well. Here is the next chapter. I hope you guys are reading and enjoying, because I know that I am having a lot of fun writing it! Also, in last week's episode, I noticed, with help from a well placed tattoo on a shockingly hot chest, that I have been spelling "Kerryanne" wrong, and it is actually spelling "Kerrianne". I will go back and edit it all eventually. I have a sweet little (or not so little, at 8 years old) niece named Kerryanne (with a y) so it was kind of a second nature spelling and an honest mistake.**

He should have guessed that Stahl would fuck him over. He should have known. If he was honest with himself, he had known. Known, but not really cared. He knew that he would do whatever was necessary to protect his girls (and yes, as sad as it was, he definitely still thought of them as his). But what that bitch had done, it was just too much. She wanted him to betray his brothers. But he couldn't do that. Could he? He was afraid of the answer to that question. Afraid to admit that, yes, if it was a choice between his boys and his girls, he could and would betray his brothers each and every time.

He had gotten himself in to a mess. He really, truly believed that there had been no other way to protect them. But that did not make his choice now any easier. The idea of being a rat sickened him, to his core. Those men in that room, his brothers, did not deserve to be turned on any more than his daughter deserved to be taken advantage of, raped by her pseudo-stepfather, anymore than his wife deserved to be kept caged, hit, and whatever else Jimmy did to her. He felt like a child who wanted to whine and scream about how it wasn't fair. He knew, however, that that would get him nowhere. So instead, he was just sitting.

He didn't hear Gemma's footsteps as they approached him, so he was a little bit shocked when he heard her speak.

"You okay?" she asked, trying to get a better look at him. "Your head?"

Well, shit. This was more than slightly embarrassing. How could he say this without sounding like a whiny asshole?

"Head's fine. It's everything else that's shit," came his shockingly honest reply.

"Yeah," she said with a tight smile. She made to walk away, and for just one minute, he thought that maybe he would get lucky, and she would overlook this weird incident. Unfortunately, luck was rarely ever on his side. She grabbed a stool and dragged it over before sitting down on it and looking directly a him.

"What's going on, Honey?" she asked.

Rather than try to put a stopper in his inevitable word vomit, he just let it flow.

"I don't know. You ever done something that's made you feel wretched to protect someone you love?" he spit out.

"More than once," she answered with a sympathetic smile. She took his hand; gave him something to hold onto.

He was choking up rapidly. He willed himself to not cry, knowing all the while that it was futile.

"Dug myself a good one Gemma. Jesus. I have no idea how to get out," he admitted, before the tears started.

"Oh, Sweetheat. It's okay. It's okay," she soothed, holding onto him while he cried like an infant on her shoulder.

He struggled to get ahold of himself. "What do I do?" he asked, hoping to God that she had some kind of answer.

She looked him right in the eyes and told him, "You tell them. It's the only way out of the hole, Baby."

He nodded, hoping that she was actually as sure as she sounded. He sucked it up and stood.

"Know something? I don't know what we'd do without you. Love you," he told her, kissing her cheek, before walking away.

"Chibs!" she called after him, causing him to turn towards her. "What did she get on you? That made you turn?"

He looked at her, both floored and not at all surprised that she had guessed. After gauging what her reaction would be, he replied with one word.

"Jimmy."

"Oh Chibs. Baby, is this still all about her? Did you offer to turn on my boys because of Fiona?" she asked, the anger in her voice unmistakable.

"No! Well, yes. Kind of. It's really complicated," he answered. There was no sense trying to backpedal now.

"Uncomplicate it," she demanded.

"Fiona has been to see me, and I guess Jimmy didn't like it much. He goaded me. Said he would kill off Fiona and take my Kerryanne instead," he summed up the situation.

"Jesus," Gemma breathed, looking surprised.

"Yeah," he answered simply.

"You know that none of this would have happened if she had just kept her ass overseas, where she belongs?" Gemma spat, anger coming back.

"No, Gem. Don't blame her. This is on me," he quickly defended. He had no idea why he felt the need to defend Fiona, but he always, _always _did.

"Oh Honey," she said looking at him, the pity in her eyes unmistakable this time. "You still love her, don't you?"

He thought about it, for roughly half a second. He was already fucked, what was the harm?

"Yeah," he admitted, nodding his head. "Yeah, I love them both."


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! I wanted to write something with the guys in it, and this is what I ended up with. I did struggle a little bit with it, just because it's hard for me to write the other characters sometimes. And PLEASE don't be offended by this chapter. It sort of came from one of my guy friends who mentioned that he was really (pleasently) surprised and impressed when he found out Chibs was married to a "hot, black chick". He explained to me that, "when you think of an Irish lady named Fiona, smokin' hot black lady isn't the first thing that comes to mind, but it works!". So this chapter is for Ezra the Idiot.  
Also, huge thanks to my Anonymous reviewer. The little review email really cheered me up and made me smile during a particularly shitty Monday. :-)**

He was sitting at the table, dealing another hand of five card with Happy, Tig, and Half-Sack. He loved cards, mostly because he could beat anybody here, at any time, but also because it was a good distraction. Something to do to keep his mind off of things, which he desperately wanted right now. The other guys were scattered around, doing various things of their choosing, but he wasn't paying attention. He was up caught in the game, pretty much oblivious to anything else.

Which is why he didn't notice Juice walk up to the table and join them with a weird smile on his face. Chibs looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Something on your mind, Juicey?" he asked, mildly curious.

"So. I have been doing some research. On your family, you know. So we can figure out the best way to get to your daughter. To keep her safe and everything," Juice replied, looking like he still had a lot more he wanted to say.

"Yeah. Okay. And what did you find out?" CHibs asked. He swore, sometimes dealing with Juice was like dealing with a small, dumb child.

"A lot. Belfast will get her from school, keep her safe. It's being taken care of," Juice replied, quickly.

"Okay, so that still doesn't explain the shit eating grin on your face. Something else you need to say, Juice?" Filip was starting to get pretty annoyed at this point.

"Dude. Your wife is black," Juice blurted out, and then grinned like an idiot.

The other guys turned their attention from Juice to him at this point. Half-Sack looked surprised, he supposed, but it was hard to tell, as all of his looks came across as moronic. Tig gave him an appraising look, as it he was trying to picture it. Happy just looked like…Happy.

"…I know?" Filip replied, convinced that this couldn't be the cause of all of Juice's squirrely excitement.

"Well, I didn't. And…she's, like, super hot. How is it that you have been married to a super hot black chick for all this time, and none of us knew?" the mohawked moron asked.

He rolled his eyes, and shrugged.

"So, how hot are we talking, Juice?" Tig asked.

"Pretty hot. Wanna see?" Juice replied, taking shuffling through the papers in his hand.

"Christ Juice! Did you seriously cyber stalk and print out pictures of my wife?" Chibs asked.

"Um, yeah. It's kind of what I do," He replied, pulling out a color printout. He passed it to Happy, who gave it a small, approving nod before handing it to Tig, who gave a low whistle and attempted to give it to Half-Sack, before Chibs intervened.

The picture must have been a couple of years old, and it looked like it was taken without her knowledge. It was of her and Kerryanne, probably at some school event. Kerry was in her school uniform, and Fi was carrying her backpack. They were both smiling and appeared to be involved in a conversation. He wondered what they were talking about. He wondered about a lot of things. They looked happy. They looked…perfect.

"She is really hot dude. I'd fuck her," said Tig, breaking him out of his staring. Instead of a verbal response, Tig got a very menacing glare in return.

"What? You're not the only one that likes black chicks, brother," Tig stated, matter of factly/

"That your daughter with her?" Half Sack thankfully interrupted, looking over his shoulder.

"Yeah. That's Kerryanne," Chibs replied quietly, just staring at the picture.

"How old is she?" asked Half-Sack.

"Not that old, Prospect. Not even nearly old enough," he said with a warning tone in his voice.

"No! No, I didn't mean…" he trailed off.

"Can I keep this, Juice?" Chibs cut him off, intending to keep the photo either way.

"Yeah, absolutely. You want me to make copies first, Tig?" Juice asked with a grin.

"Yes. For sure. And if you could paste those heads onto some hot naked bodies first, that would be great," Tig (hopefully) joked.

"Fuck off. All of you. Somebody deal." Chibs replied.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi guys! Here is chapter 9. Not much to say, except a huge thanks for those of you who reviewed. It's a bit crazy, I never thought that reviews mattered, but now that I am the writer, I can attest to the fact that they do actually matter alot! So thanks! Oh, also. The rating for thing will probably change after this chapter. I think we are headed into M territory, folks. So stay tuned for that. Anyway, happy reading!**

Filip found himself sitting alone in his living room, the morning sun shining through the front window. God, he was exhausted. He couldn't quite remember the last time he had slept well. He had made the excuse that he wanted to get some more ammo from his place, but really, he just wanted some quiet. He was not, in fact, digging through giant boxes of ammunition, but instead he was sitting on his couch, his cell phone in one hand, and the printed out picture of his family in the other. He knew that there were about a thousand things he should be doing, but here he was.

They were going on lockdown. The clubhouse would be full of people and his goal for the day was to ensure that his wife was one of those people. What that would look like, he didn't know. But he had to see her safe, no matter what. It had, very recently, become pretty clear to him that, despite his best efforts, he _still_ wasn't over her. Putting his feelings for her aside would have been one thing, if he knew that she was safe and happy, but as he was one hundred percent sure that she was neither, he had to do something.

He let out a deep breath. He was nervous, which was not, unfortunately, an unfamiliar feeling for him when it came to Fiona. Here he was, a grown man, sitting nervously at home mentally preparing himself to call a girl. Christ, he felt like he was fourteen all over again.

"Fuck it," he said out loud, picking up the bottle of whiskey on his coffee table and taking a swig as he dialed the number. It rang nine times before she picked up.

"Hello, Joan," came her voice on the other end.

"Fi," he said. "I take it that you are not alone."

"That's right. California is lovely. It's very hot here," she said.

"Listen Fi, I need you to come meet me. I have to talk to you, and it has to be alone. Do you think that you can get away from your guard?"

"That sounds fine. What time is it over there anyway? Traveling has obviously dulled my senses; I can't even remember the time difference."

"Can you make it by noon? There is a rest stop out off of I-9 about 3 miles past that bar. Think you can find it okay?"

"Aye, well thank you for calling. Take care of yourself, I will see you soon."

He wondered how she would manage to get away. He wondered how she would react to his request. He wondered if she would hit him. He wondered how she would look, smell, and yes, taste. He wondered if he would be able to keep himself in check. He wondered when…fuck! He wondered when he became such a pussy.

He got up and began compulsively straightening the books on his bookshelf. His small house was unnaturally quiet. It wasn't much-a couple of bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, living room-but it was his and he liked it just fine. Most people wouldn't guess, but he was almost obsessively neat. He finished straightening, and then proceeded to frantically dust, vacuum, and, as an added bonus, alphabetize his DVD collection. He was desperate for anything that would keep his mind occupied.

It worked. He knew that he should leave to go meet Fiona. She was a fan of promptness, and she would be at least a little annoyed if he was late. He figured he was going to annoy her more than enough as it was, he didn't want to add fuel to the fire. But he did, however, take two minutes to brush his teeth before he left. Just in case.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey Guys! So this is probably the longest chapter ever. I really did want to split ti, but I couldn't find a good place, so you get it all in one I'm afraid. This story now also has an M rating. Nothing to terribly graphic, but still, M to be safe. I loved this scene in the show, and I took some creative liberties (mostly because of my own personal biases, LOL) , which I hope did the characters justice. ANyway, let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

He parked his bike and she stood up from the bench to meet him. It wasn't the ideal place he would have chosen, but it would do. It was quiet, secluded, and pretty much always empty. He walked towards her and directed her to the bathroom. She looked just as tired as he felt. He read several things on her face, annoyance, worry, and fear not the least among them. None of it mattered though, because she still looked stunning.

She followed him into the restroom and waited for him to shut and lock the door behind him. He was suddenly nervous again. Was there any way for him to say what he needed to say without her freaking out? Would she reject him? He really didn't know. He did not have the luxury of time, so he took a deep breath and removed his sunglasses. He could at least look her in the eye.

"Don't have much time," he said.

"For what?" she asked, an edge in her voice. "What's going on?"

"The feds may be closing in on Jimmy. There's a chance it could blow back," he admitted, not quite looking her in the eye.

"Did you rat him, Fillip?" she questioned, angrily.

"No!" he insisted. _He hadn't ratted. He hadn't! "_ But the ATF have threatened to tell that lie."

She looked stricken.

"Oh Jesus…if he thinks…" she breathed. He instantly realized her train of thought.

"Hey, hey, hey!" he tried to calm her. "Clay's already called Belfast. They're going to watch over Kerryanne."

"Oh Fillip. What have you done?" she asked, the panic not leaving her face. Now was probably not a good time, but it was the only time he had.

"Fi, you _have_ to come with me," he begged. "We're on lock down and we can keep you safe, but if this thing goes bad…"

There. He had said it. Now to prepare for the blow.

"Come with you? What do you think I am, one of your old ladies?" she yelled. "Jimmy would kill me if he knew I was here!"

He knew that. He was well aware of how precarious their situation was; had always been. Jimmy would love to kill him, and would in no way hesitate to kill her, or their precious baby girl, to hurt him. He knew that. But none of that knowledge would keep him from saying what he had to say now. He had to figure out a way for them to be safe.

"I love my daughter," he admitted quietly. "And I love you, Fi. I just want to take care of my family."

He could see her reaction to his words. Her anger evaporated and he face immediately softened. It was like he was seeing her defenses vanish, as if they had never been there at all.

"My sweet boy. You _never_ change," she whispered.

"Yeah," was the only reply he could come up with that would help to save his dignity.

She was close to him now. Closer than she had been since that day in the hospital. He chanced a look down into her eyes. What he saw there took his breath away.

He knew it was going to happen well before it happened, but he didn't rush it. She, however, was not having as easy a time accepting it. He saw the emotions fly over her face. He watched her, recognized the fear, love, and worry about what kissing him would mean. Then he saw her just stop thinking all together, and give in. He rejoiced inside. He finally had her.

There were not enough words to describe what he thought and felt when her lips met his. Mostly, it was relief. He was_ finally _home again. This is where he should have been all along, kissing her, loving her. He didn't realize how much he had missed this; missed _her_. But now, his hands were well placed on her slim hips and her lips were pressed against his. He was done missing anything.

Her hands were on him now, claiming his shoulders, on his neck, in his hair. They were moving backwards and then her back hit the wall. Her eyes met his for a quick moment. He gave her enough time to tell him to stop, if she wanted to. Instead, she grasped his shoulders again and pulled him towards her.

She tasted just the way he remembered. Her lips were inescapable, and as her tongue worked its way into his mouth, he suddenly realized that nobody in the entire world kissed like her. Her body was small, it always had been, but it fit perfectly against his as he pressed her into the wall. He was absolutely, 100%, fully aroused, and there was no way that she didn't know it, but he honestly could not care less. Judging from the incredibly sexy little moans that filled his ears, and the way she was gripping his hair and shoulders, trying to pull him still closer to her, she was just as aroused as he was.

Not nearly as gracefully as he hoped for, he worked his hands beneath her shirt and rested them just above her waist, at the bottom of her rib cage, satisfying the part of him that just needed to touch her; feel her skin beneath his fingers. She was thinking along the same lines as him, as her left hand had made it's was under his shirt along his lower back, while her right was on his neck, directly over his pulse point. This, of course, meant that she could feel his heart racing, the way it always did when she was around, much less when she was around and practically dry humping him in a public washroom.

_I wonder…_he thought, making the sudden, rash decision to move his lips from hers to situate them right over her own thumping pulse. This caused her to emit a louder, more desperate moan. _Good to know I've still got it._

His hands began to creep upwards on her body, her breathing increasing rapidly the closer he got to his target. And there they were. His hands were groping Fiona's breasts. She didn't have a huge rack, by anybody's estimation, but they were big enough in his hands, and he loved them. She was not being shy when it came to vocalizing how much she was enjoying this, and he just fucking loved that he could do this to her, make her feel this way. He couldn't believe that she still wanted him like this. He wanted her, always had, but the fact that she felt the same was almost too much for him to wrap his head around. Almost.

Her hands had, very rapidly, worked their way to his belt. This was really happening. They were about to move from dry humping in a public restroom to, well, not so dry humping. In a public restroom. It hit him very suddenly, very hard. His hands left their new favorite place, her breasts, and grabbed her hands to stop her from pushing him over the edge. He couldn't believe that he was trying to stop her. Maybe he way getting slightly gayer in his old age?

"Wait, Fi, you gotta stop," he mumbled half intelligently, his mouth not getting more than a centimeter away from her neck.

"I am not trying to steal your innocence, Filip. I did that, what, 25 years ago? And for somebody who wants me to stop, you lips and tongue are sending me mixed messages," she laughed, clearly enjoying herself, as her hands tried to break free of his grip.

He laughed himself, finally removing his lips from her now sufficiently marked neck and resting his forehead against hers.

"It was 28 years, Love, and you damn well know it."

"Right. Can you just kiss me again? I really liked where this was heading. It's been too long, Filip. I want you."

Her words made him, if possible, even more aroused. What the fuck was he thinking?

"Fi…I…it's just…"

"Wait, you are serious, aren't you?" she said suddenly, pushing him back just enough to look into his eyes. "You don't want me."

She sounded…wounded. For the first time ever, since he had known her, she appeared completely vulnerable and at his mercy, and she was hurt. He had hurt her.

"No, Love. I think it's quite evident that I very much want you. My want for you is actually invading your personal space right now. There has pretty much never been a time that I didn't want you. I just…not like this Fi."

"What do you mean?"

"I just told you I loved you, and I meant it. I am not going to follow that up by a quick fuck in a public restroom. I mean, Fi, you are my wife, and I have never forgotten that. You aren't some Crow eater, and I won't treat you like one. It's been ten years since I was with you. I don't want it to happen like this. Not here. Can you understand that?"

"Jesus. You really are far too good for me, Love. You know that, don't you?"

At that, he blushed, and not because of his massive erection that was still pressed against her stomach or his mused hair or the fingernail marks on his neck. He blushed because she had paid him a genuine compliment, and even if she was completely wrong, he was grateful. He gave her a genuine smile and gently kissed her again.

"Okay then. Not here. Where?"

"What?"

"You don't want to do this here. I can respect and actually love you for that. So where?"

"I mean…do you…are you…seriously? You'll come with me?"

She looked into his eyes, and sighed.

"Filip, whether it is now or hours from now, I am going to go back to him. Marked by you, smelling like you. And he is going to be furious. He may hit me, do his worst even. But I will go back to him anyway, because I have to. Not because I love him, because believe me, it has been a long time since I felt any kind of affection for him, but because I cannot leave with you until I am one hundred percent certain that our baby, our little girl is safe. I have to get back to her, because neither of us is worth anything if we can't keep her safe. You understand that, don't you? I have to go back. I promise you that the second I can get her out and away from him and safe, I will. But I have to go back. I just…is it so bad that I want this one thing to take with me? This one good memory to have? Please Filip. Take me someplace, someplace that is not here, and just be with me. I want to sleep with my husband again. Please."

She had tears running down her face and he couldn't argue with her. Well, he could, but he wouldn't. He was panicked and furious and completely gutted, but he understood. He knew why she was going to do this, even if he didn't agree. He would do anything she asked of him.

"Okay. But Fiona? I need you to know something."

"What is it, Love?"

"One day, I am going to look him in his eyes, and I am going to take his life. Whether it is tomorrow or twenty years from now, I am going to kill Jimmy O'Phalen. For what he has done to me, but mostly for what he has done to you and Kerry. He will die, and I will be the one to do it."

She let out a breath and threw her arms around his neck. He buried his face in her hair and just held her, breathing her in.

"Okay. Okay, Filip. Now are you going to get me out of here and sleep with me?"

He looked at her again, trying to read whether or not this was what she really wanted. He saw no doubt on her face. That was enough for him. He knew that this was probably far from a good idea, but that had never stopped him before.

"God yes. Let's go."

**So, about those personal biases. The idea of sex in a public restroom_ really_ grosses me out, and I just couldn't make myself write it. And yes, I most definitely think sex did happen. But...bathrooms are gross. So yeah, have an awesome day!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Here is the next part guys. Never written a scene like this before, so I hope it goes okay.  
Also, thanks to the two people who PM me and assured me that I wasn't the only one creeped out by public bathroom sex!**

She hadn't driven herself when she came to meet him, but had taken a cab instead, which was fine with him, as it meant that she was currently pressed against him on the back of his bike, with her arms tightly around his waist. God, it had been years since she had ridden with him, since anybody had ridden with him. They were traveling along a back road, and he hated to admit it, but he was driving much more conservatively than he usually did. Precious cargo, he supposed.

Fiona was clearly enjoying herself. He knew that she used to love riding with him, but that had been a decade ago. He wondered if she had been on a bike even once in these passed years. Secretly, he hoped she hadn't. He felt her squeeze him once and heard her laugh over the roar of the engine.

"When did you start driving like an old man, Filip?" she yelled.

He smirked and immediately sped up.

Within ten minutes, they had arrived. He had brought her to the one place he knew that they would be both safe and alone: his house. The property was held under a fake name, and very few of his brothers even knew where he lived, much less had ever been here. It was about as secluded, private and safe as you could get in a town like Charming. It would do just fine.

He parked the bike and waited for her to climb off the back, before climbing off himself. She handed him the helmet as she looked around at the small, green house.

"Your place?" she asked, finally looking at him.

"Aye," he replied, walking past her to unlock the door. He opened it and allowed her to step inside before following her in and relocking the door.

He set his keys on the table, and leaned back against the door, just watching her. She was slowly wandering around his living room, her fingers gliding over the spines of his books, fingering the heavy marble chessmen on the coffee table, a light smile on her face all the while. She moved to look at the pictures on his end table; a picture of the guys, a picture of his grandfather, a picture of Kerryanne circa age 4, and then one she recognized. It had been taken on their wedding day. She had been so happy and he had just been glad the whole thing was over and in complete awe that she had actually just married him. They had both been so damned young. She placed a kissed soft kiss on the glass and set the picture back down, turning back to him.

"This place…it's very much you. I like it," she said, smiling as she approached him, stopping inches from where he stood. "Still as much of a frantic cleaner as always, I can see."

"Pretty much," he admitted. He couldn't understand why he was so nervous, but he was.

"So, where do you sleep, Love?" she asked, not even a little bit shy. She was obviously well aware that she was in complete control here.

_Here goes nothing,_ he thought as he took her hand and led her towards his bedroom. As they entered, he didn't even have time to be embarrassed by the fact that his bed was covered by the quilt she had made him for his birthday the first year they had been married. He just stood still as she turned towards him and placed a gentle, but sensual kiss on his lips. He held her by the hips as her hands began to unbutton and remove his kutte. Instead of letting it fall to the floor, she broke the kiss and set it safely on the chair a few feet away, adding her own sweater on top of it. She walked over to the small bedroom window and looked out for a few moments, before drawing the curtains shut. She looked over her shoulder at him and gave a smile.

"Filip? Are you going to come over here and kiss me, or not?"

That was really all the invitation he needed. He toed off his boots and walked across the room, wrapping his arms around her from behind and easily lifting her shirt over her head. He had always loved her skin, and he was glad to finally satisfy his deep seated need to see and feel more of it. His hands rested on her stomach, but his eyes found her right shoulder, where sat a very intricately drawn horse. The tattoo had held up beautiful these past few decades, still as detailed and beautiful as it had been on her 18th birthday. Seeing his mark on her skin did something significant to him, but he took the time to place a soft kiss against that shoulder, before turning her in his arms and practically attacking her mouth.

They shed their clothes quickly before making their way to the bed. His hands had a mind of their own, wanting to touch every part of her simultaneously, and hers were of the same mind. His mouth trailed from her lips, to her neck, before finally finding its way to her left breast. He loved the sounds she made, loved hearing her deep moans and heavy breathing. More than that, he loved the way his hands and body very clearly remembered hers, knew just what to do to illicit those moans.

His lips and tongue continued to lavish attention on her breasts as his right hand traveled from her hip slightly southwest. He made quick work of removing her simple, yet undeniably sexy red cotton underwear before his fingers found their target. Jesus, she was so incredibly wet. The knowledge that it was him doing this to her, him making her this way made him harder than he believed possible. He easily slid first one finger, and then a second inside of her, his thumb finding her clit as he began to maneuver his finger inside of her in a way that he knew drove her insane. It was not long before she was coming, her fingernails drawing blood on his shoulders and upper arms as she pulsed around his fingers.

She guided his lips back to hers, practically assaulting his mouth with her own, her fingers tangling themselves in his hair. She pulled back, just slightly to catch her breath. He took the opportunity to look into her eyes. They were nearly black with lust, and he was absolutely confident in his assumption that his mirrored hers exactly. He didn't really want to ask, but he had to know, for sure, that this was what she wanted.

"Fi," he began, surprised at how low and rough his voice sounded. "Are you sure about this? Sure that this is what you want?"

Some people might have found his question absurd this far into the game, but he would stop if she asked him to. It might actually kill him, but he would do it if she wanted him to. She actually rolled her eye at him, before kissing him softly.

"Yes," she whispered, looking directly into his eyes. "I want you. Please, Filip. Please."

That was enough of an assurance for him. He continued to hold her eyes until, within seconds, she was under him and he was burying himself inside her. She gasped and threw her head back. He was more than adequate below the belt, and she was so wonderfully tight around him. He held still for a moment, giving her the time to adjust, and giving himself a moment to just enjoy the feeling being here with her again.

The stillness didn't last for long. He needed to move. It wasn't slow, it wasn't gentle, but it was perfect, completely and totally perfect. He wondered how he had gone for so long without this, without her. He knew, for absolute certain, that he could never get tired of this, tired of being with her. Her lips found their way to his again, and he kissed her for everything he was worth.

In a shockingly short amount of time, he felt her orgasm building again. He lasted long enough to feel her tighten around him, hear her moan his name as she came, and then he was spilling himself into her. He couldn't even muster any embarrassment at the fact that it had barely lasted ten minutes, because she was looking at him like he was a gift, and he knew she was more than satisfied, but there were tears streaming down her face.

"Thank you," she whispered, her hand finding his cheek. "Thank you, Filip."

He did the only thing her could think to do; he gathered her in his arms and held her against his chest, and told and showed her, again and again, just how much he loved her.


	12. Chapter 12

**Short one this time, friends! Hope you enjoy. Happy reading!**

His eyes opened very suddenly. He had no idea what time it was, nor how long he had been asleep, but the sun was still out, so it couldn't have been that long. He hadn't wanted to fall asleep, but it had been so long since he had slept, and he was very satiated and very comfortable tangled up with Fiona in his bed. He knew a few things almost instantly. First, he knew that everything that had transpired over the course of the day had been very much real and very much incredible. He also knew that it was probably a huge mistake. Lastly, he knew, without a doubt, that he was once again alone in his house.

He felt completely stupid for having expected anything else. She had done exactly what she had always done best, use him in every way she possibly could and then leave before she had to deal with any of the consequences. She had told him she would go, of course, but was it so wrong of him to have expected her to say goodbye first? Probably. He wondered, yet again, why he let her do this to him, over and over. She said that she loved him, but how can you hurt somebody that you love, over and over again? And he most definitely was hurt, not to mention angry.

He dragged himself out of bed and pulled his jeans back on, but his shirt was missing. Of course it was. It's what she had been wearing when he fell asleep. He hadn't minded then. He thought that she looked much better in his shirts than he himself did. Her tiny body was practically swimming in the fabric, and he remember laughing at her, but really, it had just turned him on, so he really hadn't minded. But he sure as hell minded now. It was his favorite shirt, and now it would probably smell of apples. He supposed that he would find it folded neatly on a chair somewhere, maybe with a quick "thanks for the fuck" note attached. He fastened his jeans and began the search.

He didn't see it anywhere. But sitting atop his kitchen table was a note, written in her perfectly neat handwriting. It was much longer than he expected it to be. How many words did she really need to tell him to fuck off? He picked up the note and went to his trusty couch to read his very own Dear John letter.

_Filip,_

_I must, yet again, apologize to you. I know that it is monumentally cruel to share what we shared and then leave you sound asleep with no explanation. Jesus, it seems like all I do these days is apologize to you, but have you ever been in a situation where there seems to be no right answer, no way out? I believe that you have, and I believe that you know I am just trying to fight my way through this._

_I will not leave you with flowery words or declarations of love and devotion. You would hate that, and you already know full well how I feel. I will just say that I am sorry that I didn't wake you up, that I didn't say goodbye. I knew if I did, you would argue with me and try to get me to stay. I couldn't let that happen, because I knew that everything you would have to say would make sense and I would probably cave. I wish so badly to stay here with you, and I would give anything to make that so…anything except our daughter._

_Know that I hope more than anything that this letter is not our last goodbye. I will fight like hell to get back to you, Love. And between now and then, I will keep you close to my heart. Also, I hope you don't mind, but I am keeping the shirt._

_Yours Always,_

_Fi_

He read through the letter once, and then again, more slowly. And then again, and again, and again, until he had memorized it. Setting it on the coffee table in front of him, he leaned back on the couch, and then Filip, the man who could count on his fingers the number of times he could remember shedding tears, buried his face in his hands and cried.


	13. Chapter 13

**Bit of a long one today. Maybe it is too long, but I really kind of like this one a lot. Hope you guys do too. **  
**In other news, I have pneumonia! Which is bad for my immune system, but great for my writing system. So yeah, more to come! **

Filip sat outside of the clubhouse on the picnic table, waiting for a phone call. The rest of the guys were inside doing God knows what, but more and more, he found himself making excuses to be alone. He loved the boys, they were and always would be his brothers, but the club was in trouble, and it was starting to affect everyone. Tensions were high, and things were desperate.

The Prospect was dead. That had been weighing very heavily on Filip. He had just been a kid. A kid that Filip had met, sponsored, encouraged to join SAMCRO. A kid who he had rode hard and made fun of on a regular basis. And now that kid was dead. He had been stabbed in an effing kitchen while trying and failing to protect an innocent baby. It was all so senseless.

He wondered, not for the first time today, how Jax was holding up. He obviously was not taking the kidnapping of his only son well, but his stony demeanor was unnerving. It made Filip shudder to think about what the young man must be going through. Jax loved that child, probably more than he loved any other person in the world. Filip knew what it was like to have his child taken from him, his heart taken, but at least Kerry had always had her mother and he had always had the knowledge that she was safe and being taken care of. Jax didn't even have that luxury.

He could not shake the thought that had been nagging him since the boy had gone missing. He couldn't make sense of it, knew it wasn't logical, but he felt like this whole situation was his doing. He had helped remove a bullet from Cameron's ass months ago. He had given Stahl the safe house. He had brought that bastard O'Phalen here, put the pressure on everybody. He had been too caught up in Fiona and his own bullshit to be paying proper attention. And now, Sack was dead, Gemma was getting locked up for murder, and a tiny baby was missing.

And it looked like they would be taking a trip. He felt ashamed, but there had been a tiny surge of excitement when he had heard that Abel was in Belfast. Surely they would be going after the lad. They were SAMCRO and one of their own had been taken, of course they would go after him. But that really only meant one thing to Filip Telford: he was going home. He hasn't stepped foot on Irish soil in over ten years. Jimmy had all but exiled him, and he had taken his wounded pride and very little else and settled in Charming, California. However, without a doubt, anybody who had bothered to ask him would have quickly found out that his heart and home were still in Belfast.

It was funny to him, really. He hadn't even been born in Ireland. No, his birth and heritage belonged to Scotland, and he loved it. He really loved Scotland, in a way that only a Scotsman could. But Ireland was his home, had been from the minute an Irish girl caught his heart. He had never even seen, nor had he wanted to see, Ireland until circumstances beyond his control had brought the too large Telford family there, with barely 14 year old Filip kicking and screaming every minute of the way. Initially, he had hated it. Hated everything about it. It was funny how things could change so much, so quickly. By the end of his first year there, he had known he would never leave, at least not voluntarily.

Yes, fourteen had been an interesting age for Filip. He had discovered that his brothers were not the heroes he had always thought they were. He had realized that his father was not actually a good man, but a man who was bitterly disappointed with his lot in life, blamed his wife for most of it, and loved his gambling more than his children. He had realized that his mother was no better than his father, except she drowned her grief in alcohol instead of the ponies. His schoolmates at the disturbingly Catholic high school had not welcomed a weary, ragged Scottish boy with open arms. Luckily, he had four older brothers, all of whom hit harder than his school mates and had taught him to both take and give punches well. They all eventually developed a healthy fear and left him alone.

All of them except her. Fiona Larkin had caught his eye almost immediately. For somebody so well regarded as Fiona, they were very much the same. Everybody knew her, knew who she was, but nobody ever talked to her. In a time where mixed race children were rarely seen, and never talked about, she was both seen and talked about. Never badly, for her father was a high powered IRA member, but talked about nonetheless. Through a set of random happenstance, Fiona, the half black IRA princess, had taken notice of him, the angry Scottish boy who cursed at teachers in Gaelic, on his second day of school. It took one day for that notice to turn into casual smiles and quiet hellos in the hallways. It took one month for those smiles and hellos to turn into a strong, fast friendship cemented with stolen kisses and then some. It took one year for friendship and casual making out to turn into a love that was alive to this very day.

It was that love, and the life it had created, that had him both ecstatic and terrified to be returning to Ireland. He hadn't seen her, spoken to her, or heard a single word about her since their encounter more than two weeks ago. The only thing that he knew for sure was that she was back in Ireland, as one of Jimmy's men had let that information slip. The Sons had met with Jimmy after Abel went missing. Filip wasn't an idiot. He knew that Jimmy knew what occurred, and he knew that Jimmy was livid. Some men did not hide their anger well. Jimmy was one of those men. He just hoped to God that Fiona had kept her promise and had gotten to Kerryanne and was keeping her safe.

He also hoped that she had gotten word that SAMCRO would be making a trip overseas. He had been trying to reach her, at Jax's request, to get any information about Abel he could, but also to just talk to her, hear her voice, have her reassure him that she was whole. He had left word for her at any place he could, and now he could only hope that she would at least return his phone call. He knew that it had been Maureen Ashby who had reached out to Gemma. He was confident that if Maureen knew that they were coming, Fiona would know. Maureen was an old friend of hers who he really hoped could be counted on. Now, all he could do was wait for her to call him back.

Filip was glad that the boys were giving him some space. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to be alone, but he did. He felt a very strong sense of protective privacy when it came to Fiona and Kerryanne. He expected that some of his brothers just didn't know what to think of the whole situations. Other were eager to meet his Fiona. And Filip? He really wasn't sure. After what happened a couple of weeks back, he knew it was futile to deny his love for her, but maybe this time he wouldn't be so easy to forgive. _Sure you won't be,_ he thought to himself.

At that moment he was pulled out of his thoughts by the abrupt, shrill ringing of his phone. He wished that he was cool enough to at least wait for it to ring more than once. But cool had really never been something he could easily pull off. He answered before the first ring was done.

"Hello?"

"That you Filip?" Her voice sounded strained. Actually, strained didn't really cover it. She sounded as completely drained and exhausted as he felt.

"Yeah, it's me. Fi," he paused for a moment, unsure of what to say next. Finally, he softly asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yes. No. I mean…I'm whole Filip. Kerry and I are with Maureen, now. Jimmy is back in Ireland, but I have never seen him like this. He is furious. After what he refers to as my 'indiscretion', I can't help but believe that he wants me dead, or broken at the very least. Jimmy has had us with a permanent guard since I got back here. We are barely allowed to use the toilet without an escort. We only got out to Maureen's by force of will and sheer dumb luck!"

Her voice was bordering on hysterical. He could tell that his girl, his strong, stubborn, capable girl, was on the verge of breaking down, and he felt powerless to stop it.

"Stay there Fi. Don't go back to him. No matter what happens, just don't go back. I will be there soon, and we can figure it out.

"Father Ashby is going to take us to St. Matt's and….wait. You're coming here?"

So Maureen hadn't told her. Well, that particular cat was out of the bag.

"Yeah. Jax's son, Abel…Cameron took him. Kidnapped him, claimed him as vengeance for Eddie dying or something like that. Mo reached out, said that Abel was in Belfast. Now, Cameron's dead, and Abel is somewhere floating around Ireland, I suppose. We are coming to get him back."

"Cameron…kidnapping…Mo reached out? Jesus Christ. This is crazy. Filip…you're coming home?"

"Yeah, Love. I'm coming home. We should be leaving here tomorrow. Can you just try to stay whole until I can get there?"

"Of course. We will be okay now. Jimmy won't be happy when he realizes that we have gone, but I don't see him turning against Ashby, not yet anyway, though I do think that is his plan. We will be safe in the rectory for now."

"Good, good. Father Ashby will take good care of you. He has always liked you."

Fiona chuckled, "Kerry will be happy to hear that you are coming," she said, pausing only a moment before adding, "And though I know it will be very, very risky for you to be here, I can't help but be happy myself. It will be good to have our family together again. Though, I can't…even begin to imagine what you must think of me."

He thought for a moment. He wanted to yell at her, be cold and angry and even mean, however he knew that he wouldn't. Instead, chose his words carefully before replying, "I think you are my wife. I think I have loved you for most of my life. I think you have fucked up royally on some very key occasions, but so have I, and I think you deserve a second, third, tenth, and millionth chance. You know I can't be hard on you, Fiona. You know I love you too much for that."

All the anger and hurt and betrayal he had been holding on to had gone. She was gutted, he was gutted, and neither of them could carry that weight anymore. She had said she was glad he was coming, she wanted him there, and he chose to accept that.

He could hear her crying on the other end of the line. So, in a, perhaps misguided, attempt to lighten the mood, he said, "So, St. Matt's, yeah? Don't suppose that you are going to be up for making out in the confessional again, just like old times, are you?"

She laughed, which is what he had been going for all along. "Didn't you know, Filip? We don't have to hide in the confessional anymore. We are old married people now. The Catholic Church would let us fornicate right under the Virgin Mary statue, so long as we are married and not using any form of birth control."

He laughed at that. "Way to keep the romance alive, Fi. Nothing gets me going like a cold, dank church."

"Is that a challenge, Love? Because I am pretty sure I could get you going anywhere, anytime. See, it's kind of been a specialty of mine for many, many years."

He could hear the smirk in her voice. Suddenly, he was that much more eager to get to Ireland. They may still have some things to work out but…damn. She was right about her own talents, and he was absolutely certain he would take advantage of them as many times as she would allow.

"Challenge, promise, call it what you will. But you being safe and sound when I get there is a particularly crucial element. So you think you can manage to stay that way for another couple of days?"

"Yeah, I will be tucked away in the rectory. We will be fine. Just hurry and, for God's sake, be careful. Don't forget that this is dangerous for you too."

"I won't. Listen, do you think you could try and find out anything at all about Abel? If anything has happened to that baby, I don't see us leaving Ireland without a lot of blood being shed on both sides."

"I will find out what I can. Just keep you head down, Filip?"

"Only if you do the same. Keep checking in with Maureen. We will be heading there first. And tell Kerryanne," he paused, unsure of exactly what he should tell his daughter. "Tell Kerry I love her, tell her I am coming, okay? And you too, Fi. I love you too."

"I'll tell her. And I love you too, Filip. We both do. Be safe. We will see you soon," she said, before the line went dead.

He sat still for a few moments longer in the quiet, heavy heat of Charming, California, before sliding off the picnic table and making his way inside. They had plans to make.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! Hope that you are doing great. As for me, pneumonia is not fun and actually sucks so hard! Anyway, enjoy this chapter!**

There were many, many things in the world the Filip Telford didn't actually care much for. Things like child abusers, country music, and telemarketers appeared on this list. Also, turnips. None of these things concerned him much at the moment. However, airplanes were somewhere near the top of his list of things not cared for, and as he was currently sitting on somewhat shaky cargo plane flying over an ocean, it concerned him greatly.

He and the boys, plus Gemma, were all situated in Oswald's cargo jet. They were scheduled to land within the hour. To say it had been a long flight would be a drastic understatement. It had been a bumpy flight, which might not have bothered some people, but for a man who hated flying under the best of circumstances, it was kind of a big deal. It was also freezing on the plane, and the very fact that it was an airplane made smoking impossible. He was just beginning to wish he had brought a book or something when Gemma came and sat next to him.

"You doing okay, Honey?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. I'm fine. I just don't like planes."

"Oh, yeah. Of course. I am sure your silent brooding has nothing at all to do with the fact that in an hour we will be back in Ireland, the country where your estranged wife and daughter are. Although, from what I gathered, maybe you aren't so estranged anymore?"

He looked at her sheepishly. It was mildly disconcerting to know that he really was that transparent.

"Can I ask you something, Chibs?" Without waiting for an answer, she continued, "What is it about her? What quality does she have that keeps you tangled up in her shit? Does she give really good head or something?"

"Yeah, actually. But that's kind of beside the point."

Gemma smirked, but she wasn't going to let this go so easily. "So what is it then?"

"I don't know, Gem. She's just….Fiona. My wife. I have loved her since I was a kid. I don't think that there's anything she or anybody else could do to make me stop."

"Even though she left you? Kept you from your daughter? You know, I remember the day you showed up in Charming. You were half dead, covered in blood. You were more broken than I have ever seen anybody in my entire life. That's all on her, Chibs. All of it. And after all of that, everything she has done, you still love her? You would still let her do it all over again?"

"I would tread softly, Gemma. You don't know everything that happened there," he warned quietly. He could feel himself getting angry, but really, he knew Gemma was just trying to understand and look out for him in her own way. "We all do stupid things, overlook certain things, when it comes to those we love."

Gemma looked at him, incredulous.

"Don't deny it, Gemma. You had to have at least some inkling of what John was doing for months at a time in Ireland. Some idea of who he was spending his time with. But you still let him come home, each and every time."

"That's different!"

"No, it really isn't. The only difference I see is that, as far as I can guess, he never once apologized for any of it. He didn't get to live long enough to feel remorse for anything he did. She is sorry for what she did, or at least she says she is, which is enough for me, and should be enough for you, too."

Gemma looked at him, with hurt, anger, and disbelief in her eyes. He sighed softly.

"Look, if it makes it any easier, she hasn't exactly had the easiest time of it either. She has paid for her mistakes, Gem. And I think I have paid enough for them, too. I love my family, and I don't think me wanting to see it whole again is a bad thing."

He didn't like being harsh with Gemma, but these things had to be said. Gemma was an alpha female who ate other women alive. On top of that, she thought that hating Fiona was the right thing, thought that her hatred could protect him. He figured that the least he could do was set her straight before they landed. Filip did appreciate her trying to look out for him, but it had been a long time since he was a child, and her coddling and outright disdain for Fiona would do him absolutely no good and would make things more awkward than necessary.

"Sometimes, you make me want to punch you, you know that right?"

He smiled at her. "You know, I do appreciate you looking out for me. It means a lot to know you have my back."

"I've always got your back, you know that. This doesn't mean I like her," Gemma said

He laughed and put this arm around her, "You don't have to like her. But try to be nice to her, okay? Just give her a chance? For me? I think you would actually like her, if you didn't hate her so much."

"Keep dreaming, Honey. I think we are going to be landing soon. Think you can make it without puking?" she smirked at him.

"I will do my best," he responded earnestly.

She kissed him on the forehead before walking over to bother Jax or Clay or one of the other guys. Filip took a deep breath as the plane started to descend. He was more than ready to get off of this goddamned plane.


	15. Chapter 15

** Short one today. I have been pretty sick and tired lately, but I'm on the mend now. Happy reading!**

Shades of green and grey rushed past him as he rode in formation. Ireland was just as Filip had remembered, very green, very cold, with a distinct Ireland smell of earth, rain, and sheep. They were headed to Belfast with the SAMBEL boys who had met them, and it felt good to be riding on the correct side of the road again. The memory of Juice becoming very confused and nearly colliding with an oncoming car would be a source of happiness for years to come.

They pulled off to a side road, where they saw several motorcycles parked, waiting for them. He dismounted, removing his helmet and barely moving two steps before O'Neill was on him. He had known Liam for many, many years, and it was damn good to see him again, even if there were questions regarding his loyalty. Filip couldn't think of his old friend working for Jimmy. If it turned out he was, than that was a bridge they would cross when they came to it.

Putting Liam down, Filip's eyes turned to the tall, skinny, dark haired boy walking up behind him. _Jesus Christ._ For a moment, he could have sworn a ghost was walking towards him, but this was no ghost. It was little Padraic Telford, his nephew. The son of his favorite, late brother. Except, he was not so little anymore. It suddenly dawned on Filip exactly how long he had been away. When he had left, Paddy had been a short, skinny little 15 year old, full of teenage angst, hair in his face. The Paddy he met with now was a full grown man, taller than him even, and wearing a kutte. He had been so busy thinking about seeing Fi and Kerryanne again that he hadn't considered what other family he might be seeing.

"Look at you, you little bastard! Come here, grand to see you, son!" Filip said, hugging the man, but remembering the little boy he used to be.

"Uncle, really glad you're here mate," Paddy replied. Looking at the boy, even hearing the sound of his voice, Filip couldn't help but be reminded of his late brother. Alec Telford had been five years older than him and closer to Filip than any of their other siblings, always treating him well and making sure he was taken care of. As a child, Filip had hero worshipped Alec, wanted to be just like him. As adults, Filip considered him not only a brother, but a best friend. Paddy had been barely a year old when Alec was gunned down in a super market, but Filip had always looked out for the boy, tried to do right by him, at least until he was exiled. Damn, it was good to see the kid alive and well.

"The last time I seen this wee shite, he was in nappies!" Filip joked.

"And I was 15 at the time," Paddy quipped right back.

"How's my girls?" Filip asked. Growing up, Paddy had spent nearly as much time at home with Filip and Fiona as he had in own home. Filip both knew and appreciated that Paddy had kept in touch with Fi and Kerryanne these many years, and he was well aware that his nephew would be able to update him on how his wife and daughter were.

"The priest stashed Fi and Kerryanne at St. Matt's rectory. They're safe," Paddy explained, happy to be able to give his uncle good news.

"Meets been arranged," O'Neill spoke up, watching Filip carefully. He was really going to see them soon, and he wouldn't even have to sneak around or kill anybody to do it.

"You're good boys," he said, really grateful for the news, "Thank you!"

It was wonderful to see his nephew, his old friends, and his brothers all together. He could think of only two people who could make it even better. As he climbed back on his bike and they made their way to Ashby's Provisions, he was mentally counting down the minutes until his girls were back with him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys! Here is the next bit. They are finally in Ireland here. The Ireland episodes were some f my very favorite, mostly because I definitely love Ireland. Hope you guys enjoy this next part. And oh yeah, review! :-)**

They were sitting around the table in the SAMBEL clubhouse. He was listening to the Irish brothers and the American brothers argue back and forth about Jimmy and Ashby. He was zoning in and out. He felt beyond tired, yet anxious at the same time. It was difficult for him to know that Fiona and Kerryanne were less than 10 minutes away, but weren't yet with him. He was ashamed to admit that they were the foremost thing on his brain. He was supposed to be here, primarily, to help Jax find his missing baby. But those girls were _all_ he could think about.

This trip had already been a complete and utter disaster. The random stop and near deportation had been unexpected, and it bothered him a lot, because if he had been thinking clearly, he would have expected it. He knew very well that he should have kept his mouth shut and done like he was told, but he had been going off the high of being back home, and the anticipation of seeing his family again. Luckily, Sons were decent fighters and Gemma was a decent thinker, and everything had turned out just fine. He had learned his lesson, and wouldn't let his guard down again.

Which explained why he was quickly on his feet when Juice came in with his gun drawn and said that they had visitors. The room emptied very, very quickly and they piled outside into the outside lot in time to see a dark sedan pull up, followed by a black van. Guns were quickly pulled out and readied, everybody preparing for the worst. He saw two familiar looking men exit the car and walk to the van, opening the door to reveal…his girls.

He watched in silence for about half a second. Fiona climbed out first and then, eyes searching the crowd of men there, looking for his, she helped Kerry out of the van.

"Oh God, it's my girls," he muttered, and before he knew it he was quickly making his way across the open space.

His eyes went to Fiona first, as they always did. He studied her carefully for a millisecond, before greeting her. She offered him her patented, Fiona smile before hugging and kissing him quickly, saying, "Hey."

A quick moment later, he turned his eyes to Kerryanne. She was…big. The last time he had seen her she had been four years old and had barely cleared his waist. The person standing in front of him now was not the little girl he had left, but a beautiful young woman. She had the same tan skin, the same curly brown hair, inherited from her mother, the same brown eyes, inherited from him. Everything was the same, just…bigger.

One thing was very different, however. When Kerryanne was small, she constantly wore a smile. Everything made the little girl smile; puppies, butterflies, rain, music, _everything_ made her smile. He had always remembered her as a happy little girl, easy to smile, easy to laugh. The Kerryanne standing in front of him now was missing that smile. She looked nervous, a little bit scared, and very, very unsure of herself. It broke his heart to see his once confident, happy little girl look so lost.

So of course, his solution was to say the most awkward thing he could think of. "Hi. How're you doing?"

"Fine," she replied in a small voice.

"Jesus…look at you," was all he could say. He _was_ looking at her. She was every bit as gorgeous as her mother, but he could see parts of himself in her, too. She was perfect; there were no two ways about it.

Instead of a verbal response, she gave him a glimpse of exactly what he wanted to see, a small smile. It was enough for him. Moving slowly, because she really did look a bit scared (he was really beginning to wish he had asked one of the other guys to hold his gun before taking off towards them) and he didn't want to make it worse, he reached towards her did the one thing he had been aching to do since she stepped out of the van a few moments ago. As he put his arms around her, he felt her first stiffen, and then calm and put her arms around him as well.

He was hugging his daughter. Not his baby daughter, or his toddler daughter, of even his little girl daughter, but his fourteen year old, teenage daughter. God, he had missed so much of her life. There was so much that he hadn't seen or done. He wondered if he could ever adequately apologize to her for that. He wondered if he could ever explain to her exactly how much he loved her. Before he knew it, Fiona's arms were joining Kerryanne's, and he had both of his girls in his arms. For the first time in more than ten years, he was whole.


	17. Chapter 17

**Next chapter, friends! This chapter and the last one were originally just one whole chapter and I split them down the middle, so sorry for the awkward split. Anyway, hope that you guys enjoy this part! Thanks for the reviews, they make me pretty happy. I think that's it. Oh yeah! I am kind of in desperate need of a beta reader. If any of you guys would be interested, please PM me and let me know.**

He held on to them for as long as he could possibly manage without making the situation extremely awkward. He gave another squeeze and leaned back to just look at them again. Fiona looked remarkably unscathed. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but he knew what Jimmy's temper was like under the best of circumstances. But she wasn't bloody, bruised, or missing limbs. She looked like she could use a hot meal and a good night's sleep, but then again, they all could. Kerry just looked like an overwhelmed teenage girl.

Fiona smiled at him before looking behind him, at the small army gathered watching their little reunion.

"Filip, am I going crazy, or do I see a mohawked boy with head tattoos? Because that's about the weirdest thing I have come across recently," Fiona asked with a subdued tone of amusement in her voice.

He couldn't help but laugh. Putting an arm around each of them he said, "Yeah, that's Juice. Come on, come meet everyone."

He felt every bit the proud husband and father as he introduced his girls to his boys. They Irish crew they already knew, but most of the SAMCRO boys were new to them. He wasn't sure what was more hilarious to him, Kerryanne's look of surprise as she found out the 12 foot tall Sasquatch was named Opie, Juice inexplicably introducing himself as "Juan Carlos", or Happy addressing Fiona as "Ma'am". He was beyond surprised when Gemma came over and stood next to Clay and Jax. She actually gave Fiona a genuine smile, before looking over Kerry, and finally settling her eyes on him.

"Gorgeous girl you two have here," she said with actual warmth.

"Yeah, luckily she takes after her Ma in the regard," he said, giving Kerry's shoulder a squeeze.

Jax laughed at that, and shook his head, "Hate to break it to you, Bro. She looks just like you. Sorry, Kid." He winked at Kerryanne, causing her to blush.

As Filip looked Kerryanne over once again, trying to see what they saw, Jax addressed Fiona, "I know you guys probably have some catching up to do, but we could use a few minutes of your time. Got some questions for you."

She nodded once, giving her husband's hand a squeeze, before turning to her daughter, "Why don't you go over to the shop and see Trinity, I am sure she will be happy to see you. I am just going to talk to Da for a while. Go on, Sean will go with you." Kerry gave her Ma a nervous smile, before complying.

The large group dispersed, most of them heading inside, but Filip and Fiona waited for a moment, hand in hand, watching their daughter walk away.

"Fi," Filip said quietly, his eyes never leaving his retreating daughter, "she is…amazing."

"I know. That's our daughter, Filip," she said, turning towards him. He finally looked away from Kerryanne and met Fi's eyes with a smile. She raised her hand to his slightly bruised check and said, with a smile, "You've been back in Ireland for about half a minute and you've already been in a fight?"

He rolled his eyes. "Wasn't my fault. Well, actually, it kind of was. But they deserved it," he argued, with a smirk.

"Of course it wasn't," she laughed. "Brother?"

"Not even close."

"Ah. Police?"

"And there you go. You needed two guesses; you must be losing your touch."

"Shut it, you," she said. Quickly, before he knew what she was doing, she leaned in and pressed a firm kiss to his lips. Too soon for his taste, she pulled away. "Come on, Love. Let's go get me interrogated by your boys!"


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey all! Here is the next peice. In response to a messaged question I got, here is he deal. They were asking how long I intended for this to be. The truth is, I am not sure yet. I have a lot written. I am at 26,000 words so far, and I am not quite done yet. I have two more related stories in the works for when this one is finished, so long story short, just stay tuned! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and as always, reviews are appreciated.**

Filip leaned back in his chair, perfectly content. Fiona sat to his right, Kerryanne to his left, and the rest of the table was crowded with SAMCRO and SAMBEL boys, plus a few ladies. Spread across the table were remnants of a massive meal that had been ravished by the hungry crowd. The table was loud. The men were telling stories, catching up, and boasting about various untruths. Maureen and Fiona were carrying on a conversation, with Gemma occasionally adding a relatively civil comment. Kerryanne and Trinity were talking about…girl things he supposed, though he was pretty uncomfortable with the way they were eyeing Jackie Boy and, for some reason, Happy. That fact aside, Filip really couldn't remember a time when he was happier.

He had fully expected to spend the evening restless and moping, after watching Fiona and Kerryanne walk away from him again. To his eternal surprise, Gemma had spoken up, and had somehow wrangled permission for them to stay. He had actually gotten to spend an afternoon with his family. Kerry had been really quiet, spending her time doing schoolwork, but she occasionally piped up and asked him random questions, like what his middle name was (Gideon) and what color he liked best (He was partial to orange, though if you asked him in front of his brothers, he would swear it was black). Fiona had fallen asleep on his shoulder for much of the afternoon, but that was okay with him too.

Having just had a fantastic, much missed Irish supper, Filip really felt like he could take a really, really long nap. Instead, he sat there, overhearing Fiona insist that she would go get started on the dishes.

"Sit down, Mo! I can do the dishes! I didn't help cook-"

"Thank Jesus!" Kerryanne interrupted, and he found himself staring intently at the salt shaker to keep from laughing hysterically.

"The least I can do is the dishes. Sit down. This, at least, I should be able to not fuck up," Fiona continued, with a not so subtle warning glare at Kerryanne.

"Yeah, I'll help," he said, standing and taking the dishes from Fiona. "She can't fuck up too terribly with adequate supervision."

He helped her carry the dishes into the kitchen, where he dried as she washed. They worked in silence for a while, shoulder to shoulder, just listening to the laughter and conversation in the next room. The silence wasn't uncomfortable. Each of them knew that they had many, many things to talk about, but for now, they were okay with just working side by side.

He turned just enough to look at her out of the corner of his eye. She had removed her jacket, rolled up her sleeves, and was up to her elbows in soap suds, a small smile on her face as she washed endlessly. Her hair, which had always driven her absolutely insane, was falling into her face, and she kept blowing it back and taking swipes at it with her shoulder, completely aware that it would never actually work. She was gorgeous.

He couldn't stop himself from laughing at her when her most recent attempt to blow hair out of her face resulted and soap suds flying up and landing on her cheek. She turned and gave him a half-serious glare.

"Sorry, Love, couldn't stop myself. Here, I'll help," he chuckled, reaching over and wiping the bubbles from her cheek, before tucking the strand of hair behind her ear, temporarily halting the insanity.

"My hero," she proclaimed, only a bit sarcastically, grabbing his towel and drying her hands, even though the dishes were not half done yet. "Jesus, it's warm in here."

She was right. Though it was a bit cold outside, the heat from the oven, the hot dish water, and the thousand people crammed in the next room had raised the temperature considerably. Glancing down to her neck, he noted that, though she had removed her jacket awhile ago, the scarf she seemed to constantly wear was still secured firmly around her neck. Reaching for it, half for an excuse to touch her, he said "I can help with that."

Her protest came just a fraction of a second too late. It only took him an instant to move the scarf enough to see what she had been trying to hide under it.

"Jesus," he muttered, fully removing the scarf. Around both sides of her neck were angry bruises, purple in the center, but showing their age with yellowing around the edges. He knew that if he put his hands up to compare, it would be very easy to make out the telling shape of several fingers. "Jesus, Fi…"

"It's okay, Filip. It's nothing, really," she said, as calmly as possible, taking her scarf from his hands and setting it aside.

"It's not nothing," he replied, his voice strained with barely contained anger.

"He was angry. I felt that anger. It doesn't matter now. I'm here and you're here and he isn't. It's okay, Love. Really," she argued her case.

He brought his fingers up, carefully, gently, and trailed them over the skin on her neck. "I'm so sorry Fi. So, so sorry. This was my fault. I should have known better," he apologized.

She raised her hands and grasped his, holding them against her cheeks. "No. Don't you apologize for anything. I am a grown woman and I made my choice. You look at me," she demanded, and he complied almost immediately. "This is not your fault. And being with you? That was worth every bit of hurt he put on me."

She let go of his hands, but only so she could wrap hers around his waist and bury her face in his neck. He responded in kind and held his wife tightly, thanking God that she hadn't been more seriously hurt. They stayed like that for a long time, just holding each other and listening to the sounds of laughter from the next room.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys! Here is chapter 19, which is a bit long. Sorry for that. Not too much to say today, as it is barely 5:00am and I have to leave for work ten minutes ago. Hope everybody had a great day. Reviews are VERY appreciated.**

It was nearly midnight when he finally made up his mind, although if he was honest with himself, there was never a question that he was going to go. He left his brothers sitting, half asleep, around a poker table and made his way through a barely going party outside, ignoring everybody before climbing on his borrowed bike, fastening his helmet, and riding out into the cold night air.

Ireland was a lot colder than he remembered. Must be that California was thinning his blood after so many years there. It was no matter. He had his hoodie on, and St. Matt's Rectory was only a fifteen minute ride. Ten if you knew the way and drove a bit recklessly, both of which he did. He was equipped with all of the essentials; a loaded .9, a knife, and a screwdriver, though he hoped he would only need one of the three.

As he made his way down the nearly deserted streets, he wondered once again why he was going. The only answer he could come up with was that he just couldn't stay away. It was easy when he was back in Charming and they were here in Ireland, but he just couldn't be this close to them and not be _with_ them. Which was why he was throwing his own safety to the wind and making his way, alone, to the rectory, where there was every chance he would get offed by one of the Casey boys before getting close. He had been back for a day, and had already been nearly detained and then there was the small matter of being nearly shot to death. He just had to see them, make sure that they were okay.

He made it to the old church in record time, and stashed his bike out of sight. He made his way past the outside guard without even being noticed. He knew better than to go to the front entrance; the door didn't open, hadn't in years. The back door would be guarded, and the windows were all barred. There was, however, a relatively unnoticed side door, hidden amongst the vines that grew up over the side of the rectory and it usually opened quite easily with the assistance of a screwdriver.

He made his way around and was working with the screwdriver, trying to convince the lock to open, when he felt the cold, heavy gun metal pressed against the back of head.

"Shit. I almost had it to. You gonna shoot me, Michael?" he asked, turning around to face Michael Casey.

"Maybe. I'm supposed to shoot anybody that tries to come in. Why shouldn't I shoot you, Telford?" Casey asked.

"Because I'm not just anybody."

"No, I don't suppose you are. You know Kellan won't be happy if he knows I let somebody in," Casey said.

"Well, don't tell him then. I just want to see them. Shoot me if you have to, but I am going in there," Filip explained.

"Christ, Filip. You know I am not going to shoot you. Too afraid of what Fiona would do to me. They are upstairs, top floor. Probably asleep by now, as are most people with half an ounce of sense. And here, use the key. You're making too much goddamned noise with that screwdriver," Casey replied, handing him the key. He took it with a quick smile, locking the door behind him once he was inside.

The rectory was very simply laid out. He had entered in the cellar, which was basically used for storage. The first floor was laid out dorm style, with several rooms for visitors, all of them thankfully empty. He finally made his way up to the top floor, which was built to be a small home for the priest. Luckily, Kellan had other accommodations. He had been here many times before. He knew that they would be just beyond this door. Carefully, quietly, he opened it, not wanting to wake them.

It was dark inside, and nearly silent. He gave his eyes a moment to adjust, before looking around. The small sitting room that he found himself in had not changed even a little bit since the late 1960's, by the looks of it. Off of the sitting room was a small kitchen and a hallway that he knew would lead towards the bedrooms where his girls were sleeping. He saw small signs of them everywhere. Kerryanne's coat was hanging near the door, right next to Fiona's scarf. There were all sorts of girly things lying about, hand lotions and the like. On the small wooden coffee table, there was a photo album.

He sat himself on the ugly brown couch and picked up the album. Opening it, he turned each and every page, taking in the photos. The main theme of the album was Kerryanne. There were pictures of Kerry as a tiny, wrinkled baby. There were pictures of Kerry as a toddler. Those were times he remembered. Then there were pictures of her as a small school girl. There were pictures of Christmas, Easter. First communion pictures and birthday pictures were there. There were pictures of her confirmation, pictures of her playing sports. This album held pictures of her life, pictures of everything he had missed.

"I brought that for you. Thought you might like to see it," Fiona's voice startled him as she entered the sitting room. He looked up at her as she came in, dressed in soft green pajamas pants and a blue shirt. He was amazed that, even in pajamas, she still looked beautiful.

"I didn't know you were awake," he said, apologetically.

"Of course. I was waiting for you to get here."

"But you always knew I would come." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes. I knew you would come," she said, seating herself on the coffee table in front of him. She reached down and unlaced his boots. "Did you see the picture of her first lost tooth? It's one of my favorites."

"Aye. She's a great kid, Fi. I can't believe I missed all of this," he whispered, following her movement with his eyes.

"No sense dwelling on it now, Love," she reached forward, taking the photo album out of his hands and setting it on the table beside her, before taking his now empty hands in her own. "You're hands are cold. You must be freezing!"

"Yeah, I'm okay," he insisted.

"Why don't you come to bed? It's much warmer there," she said, squeezing his half frozen hands.

He hesitated. He knew that he wanted, so badly, to go with her, to lie next to her, to fall asleep beside her, but what would it cost him? He wasn't sure how much more he had left to lose.

"Not sure. Last time I went to bed with you didn't end so well for me," he finally replied, looking right at her.

She gave him a sad smile, and leaned forward, kissing him on the cheek. "Come on, Love," she replied, pulling him to his feet. "We are here under lockdown, so that we don't get murdered. Where am I going to run too?" He had to admit that she had a point. She was asking him to come to bed with her. There were many, much worse thing, she could be asking of him, and he knew that when it came to her, there was nothing she could ask that he wouldn't do. It had been that was for years and years. Was he really going to argue with her and pretend that they didn't want the same thing? "I am not going to hurt your, Filip. Not again." He studied her for a moment, and there was nothing but honesty on her face. _Oh, fuck it._

"Okay."

She led him down the short hallway to one of the bedrooms. They passed the small room that Kerryanne was soundly sleeping in. Once they arrived, she softly shut the door and climbed into bed, watching him as he slowly undressed, down to his t-shirt and boxers, before climbing in bed next to her. She pulled the covers up over both of them, and rested her hand against his cheek. Her body was so very close to his in the small bed, her hair was draped over the shared pillow, and the scent of apples was overwhelming.

"Hi," she said softly, smiling at him from inches away.

"Hey," he replied, before closing the distance and kissing her. The kiss was passionate, but not overtly sexual. He knew that he, at least, was far too tired for sex tonight, but he needed some contact with her, needed her lips against his.

She was warm and so very close to him. His arms went around her waist and pulled her even closer. She broke the kiss, but didn't move too far away. She was still in his arms, and her hand was still tangled in his hair. He was finding it harder and harder to keep his eyes open, but he didn't want to fall asleep just yet. He wanted to look at her, just take her in, for a few minutes longer.

She smiled softly at him, and kissed him one last time, "Sleep, Love. Just close your eyes. I will see you in the morning. I promise."

Her promise sounded sincere, so he did close his eyes and drifted off to sleep with Fiona in his arms and her hand softly stroking his hair.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hi again friends! Longer one today. It yeah, it's pretty much all very adult and whatnot, so if you are, you know, not an adult, just pass this chapter up. Anyway, enjoy reading guys! Reviews are VERY appreciated. Thanks!**

When Filip woke up, her hand was still in his hair. He didn't open his eyes right away. Instead, he kept them closed and just enjoyed the feeling of her warm body next to his, the scent of apples surrounding him, and the sheer joy at the fact that she was still here. He knew he hadn't slept for long, after all, he rarely did, but he had slept really, really well.

"You can open your eyes, you know," Fiona murmured, laughter in her voice. Her body shifted just slightly, but it immediately caused him to tighten his grip around her waist, preventing her from moving away from him, even a little bit. "You're being awfully clingy this morning."

"Not clingy. Just comfortable. And warm. Happy, too," he retorted, sleep still evident in his voice.

"Mmmm, me too," she said, her own voice still sleepy, moving her hand from his hair to wrap her arms around his shoulders.

He finally decided it was time to open his eyes. He was rewarded for his efforts by the sight of her own brown eyes mere inches from his. The room was still relatively dark, but there was just enough light for him to make out the curve of her lips as she smiled at him. He let his eyes wander for a moment, to the clock that read 5:17, to the small patch of skin above her hip exposed by his possessive arm, before finally returning to her eyes.

"Morning," she whispered, pressing a soft kiss against his lips.

Soft kisses were not going to do it for him this morning. His arm left her waist as his hand traveled up her body to take a turn tangling itself in her hair as he pulled her lips to his again, and kept them there. He enjoyed several minutes of slow, but intense, kissing. He was well aware that this could lead to mind blowing sex, or it could just be a nice morning make out with his wife. His brain told him that either option would be fine, but the impressive morning wood he was sporting clearly had a preference.

Apparently, Fiona did too. Her hand traveled swiftly from his shoulder, all the way down his body, slipping under his boxers and making its way to his ass. She used her new grip to press him closer to her in a very intimate way. There was literally no space between their bodies now. Yeah, he was going to have an awesome morning.

When their lips finally broke apart to take in some air, he took the opportunity to move his own hands to a new location, the side of her still clothed breast. Her hand stopped massaging his ass and moved, still under his boxers, to rest on his hip, all that much closer to where he actually wanted it to be.

"Kerry?" he questioned softly.

"Sound asleep until at least 10, with her iPod blaring in her ears. We're good," came her quick reply, her voice heavy with wanting. That was good enough for him.

He moved to cover her body with his, but she stopped him, keeping him in place. Her hand lingered on his hip, but she was now using it to make slow, lazy circles on his very, very sensitive skin. Her eyes gazed at him from underneath half-closed lids, a coy smile playing on her lips, almost daring him to kiss her again. That was a dare he would take.

He took her lips again, his hands relinquishing their place near her breasts to take up a new residence, spread wide across her waist, with his pinky finger dipping just under the elastic of her pajama pants. If she wanted to play this slow, tease him, that was absolutely fine, but it was definitely a game for two. It was a game that he, actually, was very good at. He once believed that he could make a career out of driving her absolutely crazy with longing before actually delivering. Unfortunately, that career didn't pay bills, but he knew he could have been really great at it.

She broke the kiss, but her hand kept up its movement on his hip, just as his kept up its movement, ever so slowly, downward.

"Having fun, Love?" she asked, with airs of innocence.

"Oh yeah," he replied, pinky and ring finger now inside of her pajamas, thumb stroking her belly, "You?"

"Absolutely," she confirmed, before changing the game up entirely and moving her hand from his hip and wrapping it firmly around the base of his cock.

He inhaled sharply and dug his nails, just slightly, into the skin of her back. If one thing could be said of Fiona, it was that she never ceased to surprise him, both in bed and in life. His hand was frozen in place, but the same could not be said for hers. She looked him right in the eyes and she slowly began to move her hand up and down his length. This was nothing at all like the tentative, often very quick handjobs she had given him (many, many times) as a teenager. No, this Fiona knew _exactly_ what she was doing. It was so goddamned sexy.

Filip knew that she was waiting for him to react, to do something. He let her wait. He was feeling pretty good at the moment, and wanted to soak it in. There was no reason to rush this, after all. The staring contest continued, her eyes challenging, his eyes meeting the challenge head on. It was her that broke first, moving slowly forward and capturing his lips, her hand never stopping its achingly slow movement. She kissed him hard and deep trying to spur him into some sort of action. Clearly, she was done waiting.

She bit down, just this side of hard, on his lower lip, and then he was done waiting, too. His hand moved downward, to cup her ass, and _sweet Jesus_, she wasn't wearing any panties. Squeezing just once, his hand was now on her hip, pushing her flat against the bed and forcing her legs apart. Without the slightest hesitation, he slid two fingers inside of her and his thumb found its way to the little bundle of nerves that drove her insane. She moaned into his mouth, her hand stopping its movement, but gripped him harder.

He expertly worked his fingers inside of her, his hand quickly covered in her wetness. The staring contest was over. He still watched her, but her eyes were closed, her teeth biting her lower lip to keep her from crying out too loudly, as she did not want to tempt fate with their 14 year old daughter sleeping down the hall. Her hand was still clenched impossibly tightly around his cock, and part of him wished she would just continue to stroke him, but part of him was glad she didn't, because he wanted this to last for a very long time.

Realizing that she was very close to reaching her peak, he slowed down his movements, pulling her away from the edge, just slightly, and then slightly more as his movements stopped altogether. Her eyes shot open as she let out a small whimper of protest. He removed his hand from her pajamas and brought it to his mouth, letting his tongue taste her liquid left all over his hand.

"Missed the way you taste," he explained. Her response was to kiss him, taste herself on his tongue. The kiss continued for several minutes. Her grip on him never once loosened. It was kind of driving him crazy.

"Wearing way too many clothes," he declared.

"Then take them off," came her response.

He did not need to be told twice. It took him all of ten seconds to slide her soft pajama bottoms off of her slim hips and pull her shirt over her head, and she was naked next to him in bed. She finally released her hold on his cock to get his shirt off, before moving down the bed to slide his boxers from his body. Tossing them to some unseen corner of the room, she made her way back up his body, pausing for a quick moment to place a kiss on the very tip of his cock. As her tongue darted out for a split second to taste the precum forming, he briefly rethought his entire plan. He had not been kidding when he said that she gave excellent head. Before he could make his mind up either way, she had moved back up his body and rested her forehead against his.

"Missed the way you taste, too. I am going to need more time to satisfy that craving, but not now. Want you inside me. Now," she forcefully admitted.

He moved, once again to cover her body with his, and once again, she stopped him. He was momentarily confused as to why the woman who had just demanded he be inside her stopped him from, well, getting there. His confusion was cleared up quickly when she eased him on to his back and climbed over him, pressing her lips against his in a final prelude.

Straightening up, she held his eyes as she lowered herself on to his waiting cock. Filip swore that he stopped breathing for a moment. His eyes closed, as he acclimated himself to her body surrounding him. He took no small amount of childish pleasure in knowing that Jimmy had clearly not had the equipment to test or stretch her at all. She was so damned tight around him. She didn't move for almost a full minute, needing the time to adjust to him inside of her. In fact, she didn't move at all, for so long, that he finally opened his eyes to see what the matter was. It wasn't until his eyes met hers that she moved her body over his.

Filip's hands found themselves on her hips, not dictating, but instead guiding their rhythm. They both knew that this wasn't going to be a marathon, but it damn sure wasn't a sprint either. Satisfied that the pace was established, he allowed one of his hands to leave her hips and move to cup her right breast, enjoying the way it moved with the rest of her body, in an effort to please him, to help him please her.

Enjoying the view from where he was right now, Filip had to marvel at her beauty. Fiona had always, _always_ been beautiful. The years had not taken that from her, probably never would. But there was something about the way the small amount of light coming through the window accented her frame as it moved over him that just took his breath away. There was no doubt about it; this woman always had, always would captivate him. He had never, would never belong to any other woman the way he belonged to her.

He could feel his climax building deep below the pit of his stomach as she expertly rode him. He bit his lip and held off, waiting for her. She was almost there, he could tell. Eventually she broke eyes contact, allowing her head to roll back and she sped up the pace just slightly, and let out a small moan. He seized the moment and pinched her rock hard nipple between his thumb and forefinger, while simultaneously rocking his hip up, hard, to meet the force of hers. That was enough to push her over the edge. She groaned his name as she came, causing him to lose himself in turn. _Awesome morning, indeed._

When she finally opened her eyes again, Filip meet her tired gaze with a grateful, genuine smile, one Fiona couldn't help but return. His hands left her hips and moved upwards, one resting on her shoulder and one buried in her hair. He used that leverage to coax her down to his chest. She was completely relaxed against him, completely content, and focused on enjoying the warmth of him and the feel of his body beneath and still inside of hers.

"Love you," he whispered softly, pressing a kiss into her hair.

"Love you more," she assured him, her ear pressed to his heart, listening to the steady, reassuring thump.

Through the window, the sun as coming up, but neither of them noticed.


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi everyone! Here is the next little bit. I am still writing as much and as often as I can. This is a three day weekend for us, which means that instead of doing grades for my students tomorrow, I can (you guessed it) write! I really like this part. I thought that Kerryanne was really cool and I really wanted a conversation like this to happen. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Reviews are appreciated (ALOT!).**

He had no idea how long they laid there, completely taken with each other. It was good to just lay there with her and laugh at stupid thing and play stupid little games and just be together. Fiona was currently using her finger to trace dirty words onto his chest, while he tried to guess what she was writing. It was something stupid, something he completely forgot they used to do in their younger, more carefree days, and he loved remembering now, with her settled on top of him.

"I can't believe these words you are coming up with, Love. I never knew how incredibly dirty your mind was. Not at all ladylike, I tell you!" he mocked her, as she finished tracing the word _cunt_ on his skin.

"What a liar you are! You have always known exactly how dirty my mind is. It's what you love about me," she proudly replied.

"I suppose you're right," he conceded.

"I always am," she lifted herself enough to look him in the eyes, before kissing him quickly and moving to climb off of him. He stopped her almost immediately.

"No," he whined, holding on to her hands. "Where are you going?"

"To start the shower. It takes about six hours to actually get hot. I'm kind of sticky and smell like sex, thanks to you," she looked at him reproachfully.

"I like you that way," he argued, really just trying to make her stay exactly where she was.

"I am sure you do, but I doubt Kerryanne would agree. I would hate for her to need years of therapy because she came in to say good morning and was greeted by this. So come on. Let's go shower, yeah?" she invited him, actually climbing off of him this time and pulling him to his feet.

They showered quickly, though that was not by choice. The hot water in the ancient rectory was very, very limited, and neither of them really wanted to be glared at all day by Kerryanne because she didn't have any hot water. He toweled himself off and redressed, leaving Fiona in the bathroom doing girly things, like her hair and makeup and things that he assumed required her full attention.

He wandered into the small kitchen and began rummaging around the cupboards. He had worked up a pretty healthy appetite this morning. As Kerryanne had hilariously pointed out yesterday, Fiona couldn't cook for shit, so he could not rely on her making him breakfast. No, he was on his own as far as food was concerned. Not that he minded. He had fended for himself for a very long time and was actually a very good cook. He was in the process of pulling some oatmeal from the cupboard while simultaneously looking for a pot to cook it in, when he heard somebody enter the kitchen. He spun around, expecting it to be Fiona, but froze when he saw Kerryanne instead.

She was frozen in place also. She looked barely half awake in her pink plaid pajamas. Her messy hair was thrown up in a sloppy pony tail, and she was missing a sock. She looked like running into her freshly showered father in the kitchen was about the last thing she expected. He was in a bit of an awkward position as well. He wondered if she would believe him is he claimed that he just came over to cook breakfast. Probably not. She seemed like a smart kid. Shit.

"Uh. Good morning?" he said, really hoping that this situation was not actually as awkward as it seemed.

"…hi," came her reply. Yeah. It was pretty awkward.

"Okay. Listen…" he started.

"I guess that Ma knows you are here?" she quickly asked, desperate to avoid whatever was about to follow his request to listen.

"Yeah, she knows," he admitted, feeling oddly like he was being interrogated.

"You've been here all night?" she continued to question.

"Most of it," he admitted.

She continued to look him over, seeming to size him up. He continued to stand there, holding a pot and a container of oatmeal, trying really hard to not look her in the eye. He was sure that he had never felt more nervous, not even as a stupid teenage, being glared at by Fiona's father. This was worse, much, much worse.

"Are you making breakfast?" she casually inquired, taking him by surprise again. She was clearly a master of non-sequiturs.

"Aye," he quickly answered.

"I like oatmeal. Can you make me some?" she asked, with a small smile.

"Yeah. Yes, of course," he stammered, turning to actually begin the process of making the oatmeal. He turned to look at her again, adding "I like oatmeal too."

"I usually eat the instant stuff from the microwave. It's easy," she admitted.

"Yeah, but this tastes better," he told her.

"I don't think I have ever had oatmeal made on a stove. Ma isn't keen on cooking," she informed him, as if it was news to him.

"That I remember. It's a miracle you have managed to survive this long, actually. I fully expected you to weigh 400 pounds due to surviving off of fast food," he told her, only half kidding.

She laughed. "There was a cook. She always came when I was in school to do the cooking, and she always made loads of flavorless, healthy stuff. We're not allowed to eat fast food. Girls need to maintain their figures, you know," she said, rolling her eyes.

He didn't know whether or not she was kidding. She couldn't be serious. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that she probably was very serious. Jimmy was exactly the kind of man that needed to control everything about the lives of his 'family', right down to what they ate. It was a little bit psychotic.

"Are you fucking with me?" he asked, just to clarify. When she shook her head no, he immediately declared, "It's no wonder you are so skinny. I am taking you to McDonald's as soon as humanly possible."

That earned him a laugh. He continued to cook the oatmeal adding several secret ingredients, as he went. Kerryanne busied herself putting the kettle on for tea. They enjoyed a comfortable silence for a few minutes. It was still kind of hard for him to believe that he was standing in the kitchen with his daughter, just making breakfast, while his wife finished up showering and dressing a couple of rooms away. Just a couple of months ago, he would have scoffed as the possibility of this ever happening, but he had never enjoyed being wrong more so than right now. He smiled to himself and kept stirring the oatmeal in the pot.

"Da?" Kerry said softly, pulling him from his thoughts. He stopped stirring. It had been a very, very long time since she had called him that. He loved the way it sounded. He turned to look at her. "You love her, right? Ma, I mean."

He should have been shocked by her question but he wasn't. He had kind of been expecting it since she walked out and caught him in the kitchen. He looked at her, looked right into the eyes that were almost exact replicas of his own, and answered her, "Yeah, Kerryanne. I love her."

She stared him down for a moment, as if trying to determine whether or not he was being honest. Eventually, she nodded at him and smiled slightly. "Okay. It's just…she's my Ma. I don't like seeing her hurt or treated badly, and that's all I have ever really seen. I think she has wanted you to come back for a long time. Just…be better than him, okay?"

He nodded at her. "Yeah, okay. You're a good kid, Kerryanne." Her response was a blush and an eye roll, and she continued to make tea. He had just been given the third degree by his fourteen year old daughter. It was really weird, but he had never been more proud of her in her entire life. She was looking out for her Ma. Not that he would ever purposely hurt Fiona, but still, Kerryanne didn't know that. She was just trying to protect somebody she loved. It was something he would do. He idly wondered if she would be having a similar conversation with Fiona at any point, but maybe that was assuming too much. He was only a little creeped out when she provided an answer to his unasked question.

"I can't wait to ask Ma about what her intentions are! This is going to be so great! Although, you might have to stop her from hitting me, okay?" Kerryanne piped up, the glee evident in her voice.

"Absolutely," he promised, with a laugh. Leaving some on the store for Fiona, he spooned the perfectly cooked oatmeal into two bowls, setting one in front her, where she sat with a steaming cup of tea, and keeping one for himself. He was pleased and grateful to note that she made him a cup as well. "It's good with strawberry jam in it, though I would avoid making out with your Ma for a while afterwards, with the allergy and all. Remind me sometime to tell you about the time I forgot."

"Ew," was her response, but she was smiling.

"And where is my oatmeal?" came Fiona's voice from the doorway. He looked at her and smiled, pointing to the stove. Fiona dished out a bowl for herself and joined them at the table. It was a simple, normal thing, just sitting at the table eating breakfast with his family, but normal was something he would embrace.


	22. Chapter 22

**Here is the next bit. Happy reading, friends, and don't forget to review, okay? Thanks!**

They were finishing up breakfast when they heard the distant roar of motorcycles. They all listened for a minute as they got closer. Fiona turned to him, questions written all over her face. Looking out the small kitchen window, he saw five bikes approaching. Shit. He knew he probably should have left a note.

"Kerryanne, you should go get dressed," he told his daughter, not at all eager for her to still be pajamas clad when five horny male bikers rolled in. Brothers or no, he wouldn't hesitate to kill any of them for looking at his daughter wrong.

"Seriously? Just because your dirty biker friends show up, I have to put clothes on? It's not even noon yet," she whined.

"Seriously. Long sleeves. Many, many layers. Absolutely no skin showing at all," he half-joked with her.

She smiled at him and rolled her eyes, before getting up. "Thanks for breakfast, Da."

He didn't think he would ever get tired of hearing her call him that. The boys outside on the motorcycles were his family, and he loved them all, but that love didn't even come close to this one. These girls were more than just his family, they were his life. He knew that the guys would be up here in a minute, and they would give him shit and yell at him, but he didn't care, not really. He was exactly where he wanted and needed to be. He just hoped that the Casey boys would have enough sense to not shoot them all immediately.

"Have they come to fetch you?" Fiona asked, already knowing the answer.

"Probably. I didn't exactly tell any of them where I was going, see. Probably not the best choice, in hindsight," he admitted, as the knock on the door came. He kissed her quickly before going to open it, trying to muster a semi-apologetic look on his face. He opened it to reveal Paddy, Jax, Opie, Juice, and Happy. To say that they did not look pleased would be an understatement.

"Might as well come in, brothers," he said, opening the door wider and letting them pass him. Fiona was already up from the table making tea for the newcomers. Paddy walked right over to her and gave his aunt a hug, while the rest of the boys sat in the living room. Filip joined them, and then Paddy after a moment, followed by Fiona.

"The kettle is on. I am going to go check on Kerryanne. You boys fight nicely," she told them, dropping a kiss on his forehead before leaving the room. The guys sat awkwardly for a moment, them staring at him, him staring at the edge of the window, studiously avoiding their eyes.

"Good to see you alive, brother," Jax said, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. "You could have let somebody know you were leaving. Would have saved everybody a shitload of panic this morning."

"Yeah. Sorry about that," Filip replied.

"Sorry? That's all you have to say? Sorry? We are supposed to be here finding my kid, Chibs! Instead of focusing on that, we spent hours figuring out where the hell you were this morning. You could have been dead, for all we knew, but instead you were here fucking somebody who was, by the way, fucking Jimmy O until, like yesterday!"

The words had barely left Jax's mouth before Filip was on his feet, knocking his chair over in the process. Luckily, the other guys were faster. Paddy and Juice were in front of him, forcing him back, while Opie tended to Jax. Happy just sat up a little straighter and looked excited at the possibility of a fight. They stood there, staring each other down for a moment. He took a deep breath, and felt the urge to kill Jax leave him slowly. Filip understood that Jax was upset, anybody would be when their kid was missing, but he had ached for his family as well, and besides he would be damned if anybody would talk about Fiona that way right in front of him. The atmosphere in the room was very tense, and he didn't have a smart assed remark to break it this time.

"Da?" he heard Kerry's voice, as her head peeked around the corner. She looked really worried as she surveyed the scene around the room, her eyebrows knitted together. "Are you okay? I heard yelling."

He instantly backed down and walked towards her. He had forgotten that in a place so small, voices carried. He instantly hoped that Fiona hadn't overheard the exchange, though he realized that the chances of that were slim.

"Everything's fine, Darlin. It's just a bit of a disagreement. No need to worry. Why don't you go find your Ma? I will be back there in a minute," he told her, putting what he hoped was a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

She looked around at the other men in the room, somewhat distrustfully, before meeting his eyes again. He offered her a smile, which she returned, somewhat reluctantly, before turning and leaving the room. He watched to make sure she was really gone before taking a deep breath. Turning back to his brothers, he righted the wooden chair that he had knocked over in his haste to punch Jax in the face and sat in it. Everybody else in the room had returned to their seats as well after seeing the situation was diffused. Flip raised his eyes to meet Jax's.

"Jackey Boy, I know that what you're saying is true. I didn't mean to cause trouble, you know I didn't, and I'm sorry. I know that you are missing Abel now, hell, we all are. But I have missed my kid, and my wife, for ten years. If you can't understand me needing to be here last night, than you might be an idiot," he said.

'I know, Chibs. I'm sorry man. We were just freaked out, that's all. Shit's been going south since we got here, and you being dead would have just been icing on the goddamned cake."

"I know. The good news is, I am still alive and well," Filip said, sitting back in his chair.

Jax smirked, "Yeah. You look…well. And really, really alive."

The other guys snickered under their breaths, but Juice flat out giggled. Filip raised a questioning eyebrow at the whole lot of them.

"Tell me you at least got laid, brother," Opie grinned at him.

"Christ, is that what you band of idiots are smiling about? Yes, I got laid. Will you stop looking at me now?" He glared at them. They all cracked up. He just crossed his arms and let a slightly smug smile settle on his face. "You're all assholes, you know that, don't you?"

"Dude. Fiona is so hot," Juice said with a wide smile.

"She thinks you are weird looking. She told me," Filip shot back at him.

"No she didn't! I am awesome," Juice proclaimed.

"Yes, I did," Fiona's voice informed Juice from the doorway. He really enjoyed the open mouthed shock on Juice's face, before Fiona addressed him, "You leaving us now?"

Jax answered before he got a chance, "Nah, you can keep him for a while. Spend some time with your family, man. We need to convince SAMBEL that we are going on that run tomorrow, so we can work out some business with Jimmy. We're gonna have church tonight, so just make it back before dark."

"I'll stay too. I want to annoy the shit out of my little cousin. We can ride back together," Paddy announced, before walking down the hall to find Kerryanne.

"Make sure he gets some sleep though, Fi. You somehow don't look well rested," Jax smirked at him. The cold look Fiona gave Jax was enough for Filip to know that she had, in fact, overheard their shouting match. Having only met her a few times, Jax was not yet familiar enough with Fiona to know her stony temper and all that it entailed, and he probably didn't realize exactly how angry she was. Jax seemed to catch on pretty quickly, though. "Look, Fiona, I'm…"

Fiona cut him off quickly, with just a look, before smiling at Filip and leaving the room. Something was definitely off. Filip watched her leave before turning back to Jax, eyebrows raised. The other guys were wearing impressive grins. Jax looked at him in disbelief, "Jesus, Chibs, I'm sorry man. I wasn't thinking."

"Yeah, clearly. I will handle it, Jackey Boy. No worries," he said, rising with the rest of the guys. "Watch your backs on the ride. Tell Clay and the rest of the guys I am sorry for the worry. I will be back tonight."

"Yeah man. I was serious about that sleep thing. You look like shit," Jax told him, giving him a manly hug. The rest of the guys followed suit and Filip made sure to shut and lock the door behind him. He stayed by the door and listened for a few minutes, as he heard the bikes crank and ride off. Finally, he turned back towards the hallway, already plotting how to calm the storm that he knew was raging a couple of rooms away.


	23. Chapter 23

**Kind of a long one today, friends. It was really meant to be two chapters, but I couldn't find a decent place to split it, so here you have it. In response to a PM I received, I am still working on writing and editing and whatnot, so there is still more to this story, but I have no idea how many chapters it will be. I have at least another 10,000 words written so far. Also, another PM asked me why I wasn't writing in accents. It's a fair question, so here is the answer: because I would super suck at it. They always look and feel fake in writing. Hopefully, you guys are hearing it anyway, but I didn't want to ruin the story with crappily (new word!) written, accented dialogue. Hope that this helps! Have a wonderful day, happy reading! Oh, and also, REVIEW! Thanks!**

Walking down the hallway, Filip heard laughter coming from the first room. He stopped in the doorway and looked in on his daughter and nephew. They were both sitting shoulder to shoulder on the bed, leaning against the wall, Kerryanne's iPod between them. Each had a single headphone in their ear, laughing at whatever they were listening to. They looked like the best of friends, sitting and listening to music.

"You guys okay?" he asked, causing them both to look up from their musical entertainment and take notice of him by the door.

"Of course, Uncle. Kerry is just torturing me with her awful music," Paddy replied, dodging a smack from Kerryanne.

"You didn't leave," Kerryanne happily observed.

"Nah, Darlin. I'm staying for a while yet. I need to speak to your Ma, though. We'll just be down the hall if you guys need anything," he told them both.

"Sure, sure Uncle. Go handle that situation. I will mind the wee one," Paddy smirked at Kerryanne. Filip chuckled at their antics before turning and leaving them be.

He walked down the hall to the room they had slept in last night. He knew that Fiona would be waiting for him, probably still mad as hell. If he had overheard a comment like that about himself, he would have probably been furious as well. She had made it clear in the living room that she was upset, but he had no way of knowing exactly how upset. He used to be a master of calming her anger, but now he wasn't so sure of himself. There were some things that years apart had a way of changing. He had been happy to discover that, so far, everything about her, about them, was remarkably easy and familiar. Would this be the same?

Filip knocked softly on the closed bedroom door, opening it when he heard her softly ask him to come in and closing it behind him. He looked up and expected to see her pacing, or punching a wall, or angrily dusting, as he would have been doing. What he did not expect to see was her sitting at the head of the bed, hugging her knees, with tears streaming down her face. He was prepared for anger, prepared to talk her down. He was not at all prepared for the deep sadness he saw in her eyes. He knew that Jax had said a stupid, stupid thing, but never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that it would have hurt her so much. He stopped for a moment and just stared at her, shocked.

He didn't stay that way for long. The sight of a woman crying, especially this woman, had always been something he couldn't abide by. Her tears jolted him into action as he put himself on the bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her, offering her any comfort he could. She graciously accepted and he held her for a long time. Eventually, her tears ceased and he was left with a wet spot on his shirt, while she was left with a red streaked face. He had no idea what that had been about, but he would get to the bottom of it.

"There you go, dry those tears, Love. You're much, much to pretty to cry," he told her with a half-smile.

She chuckled in response, "You're always saying that."

"Because it's true," he insisted. They were quiet for a moment, her recovering and him figuring out his next words. "Fiona, Love, you've got to help me out. I am a relatively smart man, but I can't figure out what is happening inside that gorgeous head of yours."

She gave him a rueful smile, taking a deep breath before admitting, "I've ruined everything."

"What have you ruined?"

"Us."

"…what?"

"They are right. I have fucked this up so badly! Your friend thinks I am a whore and none of them trust me, and they are right! Why would they trust me? Why would you? I was happily married to you, and one time, things started going south, started getting hard, and I threw it away when I should have stuck it out. All for an asshole who tried to kill you and who has treated me like absolute shit for a decade. My stupid, bad choice has nearly ruined not just my life, but yours as well, not to mention our daughter's. Yet, you are still here. You are still sitting there, comforting me, drying my tears, and I don't deserve a damned bit of it. There is nothing in the situation that I trust. I don't trust myself to not fuck this up again. I keep waiting for you to wise up and run as far and fast as you can, probably taking our daughter with you before I can turn her in to somebody exactly like me. I don't trust my past to not come back to kill us all. I am still waiting to be struck down by a bolt of lightning. I am a horrible, awful person. What the fuck are you doing here, Filip?"

He stared at her for a minute. Her eyes were wild and her voice was bordering on the hysterical. Truthfully, he knew that this was a conversation that needed to happen, and he knew that they had put it off for far too long, had allowed this to build up way too much. Part of him was glad that it was finally happening. He had things that he needed to say, things that were immensely difficult for him to say.

"Are you done now?"

She looked at him, slightly offended. "I think so"

"Good. It's my turn. Fiona, forget about everything you just said. Forget about what you think and what ancient guilt you have. Do you really want me to go?"

"What?"

"Do you want me to go? I mean, honestly? Do you want me to walk outside, get on my bike, leave Ireland, sign divorce papers, and never see you again? Do you want me to go?"

She stared at him in disbelief. It was probably the last thing she had expected him to ask, and she was terrified to answer, for fear that, either way, he would actually do whatever she said.

"No," came her final reply. "No. I know you should, but I don't want you to."

"Than enough. You have to stop it. You have to stop blaming yourself for everything and carrying this on your shoulders. Look, Fi. Here's what happened. We were happy, and then something awful happened. We went through something that nearly killed each of us, something that nobody should have to go through. After that, I checked out. I was just gone. I didn't go to another person for comfort, like you did, but I sure as hell didn't come to you for it either. If we are taking on blame here, I think we can both agree that more than a little bit of it belongs to me. I didn't know what I had to lose until I lost it. I fucked up too. And as for your mistakes, what can I say; you just have shitty taste in men. Your boyfriend may have tried to kill me, but he tried to break you. He will pay for both of those things in due time, I already told you that. I am not going to lie to you and pretend that I am 100% okay with everything that has gone down. Sometimes, I am so goddamn angry at you that I want to scream and yell and hit things. But I am also so fucking in love with you, Fi, I always have been. It's something I am not going to just get over. I have been alone for ten years. The shit that I have dealt with, the pain and anger, it's not going to just go away, but I will deal with it, and it will be fine. I think I have spent enough long regretting our mistake and living with the consequences. You asked what I am doing here? I am here because I want to be, because I want what's mine. If you don't want me, that's different. Just say it and I will understand. But you are not going to push me out because you feel too guilty and can't forgive yourself. I won't let that happen."

He stopped talking and gave her a minute to take it in. He said some difficult things, they both had, but there was no doubt that they were things that needed to be said. He couldn't handle the self-deprecating thing she was playing all the time. He needed to know that she was just as much in this as he was, because if she wasn't, then he was wasting his time. He was putting a lot of trust into hoping that he knew her as well as he thought he did. Fiona was afraid, terrified even. Hell, so was he. However, she was many things, but a coward wasn't one of them, and he wouldn't let her act like one. At the moment, her expression was completely unreadable. He took her hand and held it, but didn't say anything else.

The silent seconds dragged on into silent minutes. Filip began to wonder when she would say something. He never once stopped looking at her, but a small, very immature part of him wanted to stare at his shoes or something. He resisted, but it wasn't easy. He could clearly see the wheels turning in her head, the war being waged between her all too unforgiving head and her still broken, damaged heart. He was trying his best to give her time and be patient, but it was wearing thin.

"Fi, listen, you've got to say something. I am dying here," he pleaded.

She laughed through her persistent tears and turned his hand over in hers, running her finger over his long empty ring finger, before softly asking, "Would you do it again, Filip?"

"What?" he asked, slightly taken aback.

"Us. This. Would you do it again, if you had the chance?" she asked him with the most earnest look on her face.

He took just enough time to wonder if he should hesitate and pretend to think about it for a moment. Instead, he answered almost immediately.

"Without a doubt. I wouldn't give up a single day with you, Fi, and that's the truth. And besides, that little girl down the hall? She's worth any amount of pain. And I've only known her for a day!"

She gave him a real smile. "Yeah. Yeah, me too. And you. You're worth it. This man you are, Filip…I'm so proud of you."

It didn't happen often, but he was actually blushing now. He said the only thing he could think to say, "Thanks."

"I'm sorry. I guess I just went insane for a few minutes."

"Don't understand why. You live such a stress free life of leisure."

"Oh, yeah. Bonbons and champagne."

"You okay now, Love?"

"Aye. I am fine. Or I will be. Mind you, I am still worried about some things. Jimmy for one. How I am going to make it when you head back to Charming, for another. But I am okay. Just keep a mental record of everything you said, and just keep reminding me, okay?"

"You've got it," he promised, finally pulling her back into his arms and laying back against the headboard. They could hear Kerryanne and Paddy laughing and arguing from down the hall. It bothered him to think about how much he loved this. He couldn't get over how great it felt to have Fiona in his arms, hugging him, wanting comfort from him. He loved hearing the sounds of his daughter and nephew down the hall, enjoying themselves. He wondered, not for the first time, how many times like this he had missed out on over the years, but he did not allow himself to dwell.

Fiona had just brought up a very good point. Soon, probably a lot sooner than he would like, he would be back in Charming again, and Kerryanne had made it very clear that she did not have any desire to leave Ireland. Filip supposed that he understood; it was her home. He hadn't wanted to leave either. He also knew very well that he couldn't stay. Even with Jimmy gone (and despite various doubts and everything pointing in the opposite direction, Filip was determined that Jimmy would die, soon), there were still many people here who wouldn't mind seeing him dead. On top of that, he had too many responsibilities to the club, and to Charming. No, just about as soon as they found Abel, he would have to leave his girls, again, and he had no idea how he was going to make himself do it.

"They sound like they are having fun," Fiona said, pulling him from his thoughts. He gave a halfhearted laugh and squeezed her tighter. "What's going on in the head of yours, Love?"

"Nothing at all," he replied, tilting his head to kiss her in an attempt to distract himself from his thoughts. It worked for him, for a few minutes anyway, but it didn't fool Fiona. She brought her hand to his cheek and ended their kiss, knowing that they could not get away with a repeat performance of this morning right now.

"Fine, don't tell me then. Anyway, we have a very important decision to make right now," she said. He raised a questioning eyebrow at her. "Do we take nap that your asshole friend suggested, or do we go rescue our little daughter from her cousin?"

"She can probably fend for herself. Paddy is pretty harmless. Besides, she isn't actually all that little anymore, is she?" he asked.

"No, she really isn't. Want to hear something a little bit terrifying?" she asked him. "She is fourteen this year. The exact same age that we were when we met."

He thought on that for a minute. Of course, he knew how old Kerry was, he had been there when she was born, after all. He just never, ever wanted to think of her at fourteen, doing the things that he (and, by extension, Fiona) had done at fourteen. He immediately moved to get out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Fiona asked, looking at him as if he had lost his mind.

"I have to go talk to her, right now. She needs to know that she isn't allowed to talk to boys. At all. In fact, does she go to an all-girls school? Because she should," he argued, while she laughed at him.

"Leave the poor girl alone and get back in bed! You really could use some sleep, I think. Come here," she demanded, reaching for him. And really, when given the choice between being in bed with his "hot" wife, and not being in bed with her, there was actually no choice. So, he climbed back into bed, threw an arm around his girl, pulled her closer, and was asleep within minutes.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hi Guys! Here's the next part. Hope that everybody enjoys. Review, please!**

Filip found himself sitting on a bench outside Ashby's Provisions, very much wishing that he was back at the rectory. They had just met and basically bullied their way in to coming on the run tomorrow. The Irish guys did not seem very happy about it, but if they could not understand SAMCRO's need to find Jimmy and question him about Abel, than they could all go to Hell. Not that they would only be questioning him. They were going to hand him over to the priest, but SAMBEL didn't know that. Filip would like to do a bit more than question Jimmy, and he knew that eventually, he would, however that would have to wait for now.

He was a bit on edge being at the clubhouse. Yes, his brothers were all around, but some were still not too happy with him for disappearing. Juice kept giving him shit eating grins and random thumbs up. Gemma was barely speaking to him, and Maureen kept giving him knowing looks. For a man so used to having a well maintained private life, it was a bit too much for him. He wished that he could escape back to the rectory, back to Fiona's arms, but they would be leaving pretty early tomorrow for the run. He also knew that the Club's patience with him was wearing a bit thin. Besides, Fiona has insisted that he spend some time with his nephew. However, the boy had left about an hour ago to run some sort of errand, and hadn't returned yet.

At that moment, Paddy's bike pulled up. Filip watched as the boy dismounted, stowed his helmet, and approached him.

"What're you doing out here, Uncle? Figured you would be inside playing cards with the boys," Paddy said, sitting down and helping himself to one of his Uncle's cigarettes.

"Was worrying about you. You left all on your own, very mysterious. You've got a girl you're visiting somewhere nearby?" he asked.

"Nah, you're way off. I had a few boxes at the house that Fiona asked my Ma to store years ago. She wanted me to bring them around to her," Paddy informed him. "Would have taken you with me, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to get you back out. She said I'm to give you a kiss from them, but I am not going to. I think you have had more than enough kisses in the past day."

"You're a cheeky little shit, aren't you?" Filip countered, causing Paddy to laugh. "You know, boyo, you remind me so much of your Da."

Paddy looked at him, the smile still on his face, and nodded. "Yeah, I have heard that before, except usually it goes more like 'You remind me so much of your Uncle Filip' and it usually makes me roll my eyes."

"I am sure that helps when it comes to the ladies," Filip quipped. "No, I guess it does make sense. After all, though it was cut short by unforeseen circumstances, I did get to spend much more time with you than your own Da did."

"Yeah, you always took care of me. I know it sounds awful to say, but I never really missed him at all until you were gone, too. It was shit. Ma was never really right, after Da died, and then you were gone as well, and I was alone. I didn't blame you, of course, it wasn't your fault for leaving, just like it wasn't Da's fault, but I was so angry. The guys here took care of me, though; made sure I had a place to go. And Fi, too. She let me come over as often as she could, see Kerry and spend time with her. She told me all sorts of stories, you know. About Da, about you. Did you two really almost set the church on fire?" The boy wanted to know.

Filip laughed thinking about it. "It was your Da that nearly started the fire. I was just a bystander. In fact, it was almost always him getting us into trouble. I was an angel. Very innocent."

"Not the way Fi tells it!" Paddy laughed right back.

"Well, Fi is a liar. In fact, now that I really think on it, it was always _her_ starting most of the trouble. We were just honorable boys trying to save her from herself."

"I am going to tell her you said that, Uncle. Then you will be eating your words!" Paddy triumphantly proclaimed.

"Snitch," Filip accused. They both laughed at that, before falling quiet for a few moments.

Filip took a moment to really look at the boy. He was tall; most Telfords were. He had the same dark hair that ran in the family, but his eyes had come from his mother. The face and the smile, that was all Alec, and yes, he supposed some of him too, as he and his brother had looked very much alike. Paddy had been through more in his young life than most, and still managed to be here, smiling and laughing, looking no worse for the wear. He lost his father as a tiny baby, and was raised by a woman who had become unhinged after her husband's death, who eventually killed herself as soon as she deemed her son old enough to care for himself. He lost his beloved uncle, the only father figure he had known, as a teenager. Paddy had still made it through, though. He had grown up, and not only was doing well for himself, but had managed to take care of some of Filip's responsibilities as well.

"You know, son, he would have been proud of you. Proud of the man you have grown into," Filip told the boy, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Paddy looked at him, hope evident in his eyes, making it clear that the boy was not often praised, and asked, "Do you really think so, Uncle?"

"Aye, boy. He was my brother, and I knew him well. Nothing would have made him more proud than you. The way you took care of your Ma, God rest her, when he couldn't, and the way you took care of my girls when I couldn't. That makes you better than either of us. He would have been proud, son. I know that I am," Filip said, squeezing the boy's shoulder. He was not usually one for words, and was shit at actually saying what he was thinking and feeling, but he hoped that Paddy knew he was loved, now and always.

"Thank you, Uncle. I am just glad you are back, mate. Ireland has missed you, truly. Now, let's stop talking about this shit. Let's go inside and beat your stupid friends at cards. I beat the shit out of Kerryanne today, so I am feeling lucky!"

"All of this pride coming off of beating a school girl?"

"Yeah, I suppose you are right. She actually kind of sucks at cards. She will probably want you to teach her. I bragged often and loudly that you taught me all of the tricks," Paddy smirked at him.

"Thanks for that. I will have her kicking your arse in no time. Come on, you moppet," he said, standing up. He followed his nephew inside, not really looking forward to the crowd, but looking forward to helping his nephew to win every single dime the boys had to offer.


	25. Chapter 25

**Hi Everybody! Hope you enjoy this part. It was super sad when watching it on the show. Anyway, hope you like it. Questions and criticisms are welcome! Have an awesome day and review, please!**

Filip was trying to shake off the intense anxiety that he was currently feeling. He lit up another cigarette and continued to help Paddy load guns disguised as bales of hay onto the truck. He tried to convince himself that everything was fine and nothing was wrong, but it seemed he was fighting a losing battle. Everything looked just fine on the outside, and there was really no evidence that something was wrong. Try as he may, he just couldn't shake off the feeling that something was very, very off.

The day had started out relatively well. He had seen the girls this morning. They had shown up at Ashby's with the priest and the Caseys, where they would be staying for the day. Fiona has kissed him and told him to be careful, which he pretended to find annoying, but secretly fucking loved. Kerryanne had looked worried, and then hugged him and told him she loved him. It was a surprising, amazing, wonderful thing to hear. He had always loved her, and known that deep down, she loved him, too. They were father and daughter, after all. It was kind of a given. But she had said it, out loud, where anybody could have heard her. It was something he would store in his permanent memory banks and think about for a long, long time.

The trip to the barn had been relatively nice, as well. It was a sunny day, almost unnaturally sunny for Ireland, and the sun took the edge off of the cold. The ride had been nice, and they had actually taken in some nice scenery. They had also, somehow, made it past the check point without a fist fight, this time. All in all, there had really been nothing at all to complain about at all, until they arrived at the barn.

Jimmy O., the man who, according to McGee and O'Neill, never missed a run, wasn't there. Since Jimmy O. was the only reason they had come on the run at all, him not being here was a very big problem for the club. However, what Filip could not get off his mind was _why._ Why wasn't he here? Guns were Jimmy's thing, his territory. It made no sense at all for him to not be here to supervise. Instead, a few of his boys were here, and they were literally boys. Some of them were probably younger than his Kerryanne. No, if everything was as it should be, Jimmy would not have several teenagers here, handling his business.

He walked over to confer with Jax and Clay, passing Juice and Happy, who were very obviously following O'Neill. He was starting to feel so major anxiety, and really wanted to know what the fuck was going on. McGee was trying to convince everybody that it was time to go. Jax was arguing that they would not be going anywhere, and Filip was just standing there with one though running through his head: _something is wrong_. McGee's phone rang, breaking up the conversation. Filip was somewhat glad to see that he wasn't the only one concerned about Jimmy's absence. Jax looked ready to kill somebody. All this tension was really not beneficial for anybody, and Filip was about to crack a joke when McGee came back.

"That was Mo. Jimm'ys in Belfast," said McGee. "He was looking for Fiona."

_He tried to take my girl. Again. He tried to take them from me. Again._

These were the only thoughts that dominated Filip's mind. He knew that the others were talking to him, trying to assure him, but he was not paying it any mind. Literally, the only thing he could think about was that Jimmy had nearly done it again. That stupid prick had nearly come in right under his nose and taken his wife and child from him again. Goddamn it, he was supposed to protect them. It was his job. He was not supposed to let this happen to them. But it did happen. For those few seconds, Filip just wanted to murder somebody. Really, just one somebody, but anybody would do.

His murderous streak was interrupted by the barn doors closing. _Why do I always have to be right about shit like this?_ Before anybody could think, some of the guys were pounding on the door, some of the guys were shooting at the door, and some of the guys were climbing onto the truck. And then, the idiot in the driver's seat turned the key in the ignition. He was aware of himself, screaming at the driver to not start the truck and the diving behind _something_, but to his eternal surprise, the truck actually started.

He watched it happen, almost like it was happening in slow motion. He saw Paddy standing in the back of the truck. He saw his nephew, gun drawn, pounding on the roof, demanding that the driver go. For a fraction of a second, he thought that everything was fine, that this just might work. The truck would break through the door and chase down Jimmy's little shit teenagers who locked them in. Everything would be fine. He watched the truck crash through the barn doors, with little Padraic Telford on board.

Then, he watched as the truck exploded, sending heat, flames, and body parts flying in all directions. _Why do I always have to be right about shit like this?_


	26. Chapter 26

** Kind of a short one today guys. It's been a very long, very busy past few days. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Please review!**

Filip was riding like a bat out of hell. He had to have been going 90, at least, but the rest of the boys were keeping up with him just fine. He couldn't have told you anything about their route, couldn't have identified a single land mark they passed. He wasn't seeing anything; nothing at all, except the image of his dead nephew seared into his brain. He honestly wasn't even exactly sure where he was going; except back to Belfast as fast as humanly possible.

He really didn't know where he was headed. He wanted to be in about eight different places at one. He wanted to be back there, with Padraic, but he knew he couldn't be. The place would be swarming with cops. He wanted to be with his wife and daughter, who he had very nearly lost forever today, but he somehow felt like he didn't deserve to with them. He felt like he had let them down in every way. He wanted to be back in Charming, far away from all of this shit. He wanted to be wherever Jimmy O'FuckingPhalen was, murdering him as slowly and cruelly as possible. Unfortunately, he didn't know where that might be, and he probably wouldn't get anywhere close, not alive at least.

Filip would be the first to admit that he was not handling all of this very well. Really, though, he couldn't think of a better way to actually be handling it. There weren't too many logical reactions to a situation like this that did not involve crying, killing, or excessive drinking. Unfortunately, none of those options were open to him at the moment. What he really needed was some time alone and a place where he could think and get himself under control.

They had arrived at the outer city limits of Belfast. It was remarkably unfair that the day was still so beautiful. All around, there were people, families, enjoying the day. Smiling children, happy couples, and good cheer seemed to surround him. All he could think was how bitterly unfair this fucking situation was. He knew that it was illogical, but he wanted all of these fucking happy people to drop dead. Yet another source of happiness had just been removed from his life in a completely awful way, and all of these smiling people could go straight to Hell.

As they rode on, just a bit slower now that they were in town, it suddenly occurred to Filip exactly where he could go to get himself together. It was close, it was quiet, and he would most definitely be alone. The group came to a stop at a red light. They were only a short distance from the church where the ladies were, so it was now or never. He pulled up next to Jax and Juice.

"Jackey Boy! I have some family I need to go visit," he yelled over the engines. He saw Jax start to volunteer to go with him. "I will be alright on my own. This is something I have to do."

Jax nodded, looking completely puzzled, as Filip made a left while the rest of them headed straight. Filip knew that he was being a coward. Fiona and Kerryanne wouldn't understand. Well, maybe they would, he didn't know. He should be going to them now, holding them, comforting them, apologizing to them. But he just couldn't. Not yet. He had to think. He had to get his mind right, figure out exactly what he was going to say to them, how he was going to apologize to them and make them understand that he would do anything to keep them safe.

He quickly found himself at the vast cemetery, where he parked his bike and dismounted. He would have to make his way on foot from here. He had not been here in a very long time. Even when he lived in Ireland, it was not a place he found himself visiting often. That did not change the fact that he knew the way, without even a second though. Some people would have called it rote memory, but Filip believed it was in the blood.

Just about halfway in, past the gnarled old tree that was growing exactly where it belonged, there was a plot of graves. There was nothing at all unique or remarkable about these graves, unless you counted the fact that they all had the exact same name on them: Telford. It seemed that a family reunion was in order. He stopped for a moment and looked around. Here was buried every recent member of the Telford family; both of his sisters, all six of his brothers, his mother and father, everyone whom he had ever loved and lost.

He took a deep breath and continued walking. Though he owed respect to every person here, there was only one person he was here to see. He stopped and allowed his hand to rest, just for a second, on the headstone at the very end before moving on. There rested a pain he couldn't deal with, not today. He moved on and made his way to Alec's plot before sitting down and resting his back against the cold, grey stone. He was silent for a moment, and then he spoke.

"I lost your boy today, Alec. He blew up, right in front of me, and I didn't, _couldn't_, do anything. I just left him there. I left him lying there on the ground and rode away. Jimmy almost got my girls again. I couldn't protect Paddy, I can't protect them. Just when I think things can't get worse, brother, I am proven wrong. I don't know what to do, Alec. What do I do?"

Filip sat there on the cold, hard ground, waiting for an answer that he knew would never come.


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey guys! Sorry that this chapter took a little longer than usual to get up. It's been a super busy week for me. The good news is, I have officially finished writing this story! YAY! I still have a lot of editing to do and whatnot, but I am estimating that I have another ten chapters or so left to be published. I am kind of excited about finishing my first story. I also have rough outlines for two other related stories, so I will be asking for your opinions on those before long. I am not sure which I want to write first, LOL! Anyway, sorry for the long note, hope you enjoy the chapter. Oh yeah, and REVIEW! Thanks! **

Fiona's eyes followed her daughter, as the girl paced back and forth, back and forth, back and forth across the room. Kerryanne was full of anxious energy and her nails were nearly bitten to the quick, but all of her nervous ticks did nothing to calm the other women in the room. Maureen wouldn't notice, as deep in the drink as she was, but Trinity was wearily staring at the girl from behind her book. Gemma, on the other hand, looked like she wanted to backhand Kerryanne. No, the pacing was not helping anybody, including the girl herself.

"Kerry, for God's sake, can you just sit still!" Fiona found herself yelling at the child. Kerryanne stopped very suddenly and just stared at her mother as if she was trying to decide whether or not to blame her for this heaping pile of shit they were in.

"Why aren't they here? Shouldn't they be here by now?" came Kerryanne's reply, sounding every bit like the terrified, vulnerable teenage girl that she was.

Fiona could understand Kerry's worry; really she could. They had seen a man shot and killed today and nearly been kidnapped by a sociopath that they had lived under for the past ten years. However, she knew that was not what weighed on Kerryanne right now. No, she imagined that Kerry's anxiety would be soothed exactly when Filip walked through the door, and not a moment sooner. Fiona could relate, as her own anxiety was on a very similar path. Luckily, Fiona had had years to perfect the calm, stony face when dealing with her worst fears.

"I am sure they are on their way, Kerry. They will be here soon. Don't you have some school work you can be doing while we wait?" Fiona asked, trying to think of anything that would distract Kerryanne from her pacing.

"Oh yeah, because I am sure I should be focusing on the unifying theme of The Odyssey right now," Kerry retorted, before turning on heel and stomping out of the room. After a few seconds, they heard a door slam.

Gemma snorted. "I am sure that you hear all the time how much she looks like you, but every time I look at her, every time she opens her mouth, all I see is Chibs."

Fiona looked at her and gave a half smile, "Yeah. Me too."

Their conversation was ended abruptly when the door swung open. All of the women, even Maureen, were on their feet in an instant, ready to fight if necessary. Their posture eased instantly when Jax walked through the door, followed by a parade of other men, all looking worse for the wear. Gemma and Maureen were on their men instantly, as Fiona scanned the group for hers. He wasn't there. Before she allowed panic to set in, she scanned the crowd again. This time she was sure; there was not a Telford among them.

Fiona staggered backwards, not breathing. She felt the back on her legs hit the couch and she felt herself sink into it. She couldn't hear, couldn't focus on anything that was happening around her. All she knew was that the group of men that they had sent off this morning had returned, and her Filip wasn't there.

She felt Trinity come sit beside her, and finally snapped back to reality when she heard the girl ask loudly, "Where is Filip?"

Fiona looked up into their faces. They were all looking at her now. They could all read the terror and panic on her face. Jax immediately left his mother's side and was in front of her.

"No, Fi. It's not that. He is fine, I promise," Jax's now worried answer came. "We honestly thought he would be here. He hasn't been here at all?"

Fiona found her voice, "No. He was with you. Why would he be here?"

Juice spoke up then, "He said he had to visit his family. We just thought that meant you and Kerryanne."

She looked at all of them, deeply confused and a little bit angry at how they had managed to lose a grown man. "What happened?"

The guys all looked at each other, wondering how they were going to explain this. It was Opie who spoke up, "His nephew, Paddy. He's dead. Was on a truck that Jimmy had blown up."

_Oh no._ Fiona was stunned for a moment. Paddy was not her son, but he was just as good as. She could remember when the boy had been born, had gone to see him in the hospital. She had watched him grow up, become a man. He had been a beloved nephew, bringing her comfort when her own husband had gone. How could such a boy be dead? _Jimmy._ It all came down to Jimmy, and that meant it all came down to her. She was the one that had gotten the Telford family mixed up with Jimmy, and now this boy was dead. And Filip was somewhere, obviously alone.

She stood up quickly. "What exactly did he say?" she asked.

Juice looked alarmed at her sudden change in demeanor. "Well, we were riding here and we stopped for that light about, what, a mile away? And he just said 'I have to go see some family', and he turned left. We thought he was coming here, thought maybe he knew a shortcut or something." The other men nodded in agreement.

"Christ," Fiona breathed.

"We need to find him, now. We will split up. Happy, you and Bobby go with the others, take Mom and Trinity and Maureen back, help with whatever needs managed there. McGee, you and O'Neill are with us, you know this city. Fi, do you have any idea where he might be?" Jax asked, clearly taking charge of the situation.

"I know where he is," she answered softly. She saw them all visibly relax. "You should all go back. It is a mess over there, and there are things that need to be taken care of. Besides, he wouldn't like all of you there. You," she turned to Juice. Filip liked this boy, trusted him, so she would, too. "I need you to stay here with my daughter until we come back. I need somebody to give me a ride. It's not far."

They all looked at her as if she had grown a second, and possibly a third, head. Jax was the first to speak, "Fi, you really should stay here. We can go get him and bring him here. Just listen to me, please."

"You listen to me. I am going to go get my husband and bring him back here, with or without your help. He needs me. And since I know where he is, and you don't, if you have his best interests at heart, you will do like I ask and just give me a ride," she replied, in no mood to back down.

The men looked like they weren't sure whether or not to slap her. That was fine with her, let them look that way, as long as it got Filip home faster. Jax finally gave up staring at her, hoping he had imagined what he just heard, and nodded. Juice stood and took up his guard, nodding once to assure her that he had taken her request very seriously. "Not a word to her about Paddy," she told him.

She reached into her purse, grabbing the cold medal of the flask, before following the crowd outside. She had a feeling she was going to need it.


	28. Chapter 28

**Another chapter here, friends! And a special HUGE thank you to Ambrosia Rush, who is awesome in every way! Thank you so much for taking the time to review and give feedback on every chapter. You are fanfreakintastic. **

Jax's bike pulled up next to Filip's, exactly where she told him it would be. If he was surprised that she had been right, he hid it very well.

"Are you armed, Darlin?" he asked her.

"I am now," she said, pulling a gun from the holster on his bike. "And don't call me Darlin. I will have him call you as soon as we get back safely."

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you? It don't feel right, leaving you on your own," he asked. She appreciated his concern, she really did, but she would be fine on her own.

"I'm not alone, Jax. My husband is just over there, past that tree, actually. I will be fine. He will be fine. You can go," Fiona replied, sliding the gun into her jacket and turning to walk away.

She made her way through the cemetery, past the tree, and found him exactly where she thought she would. He hadn't noticed her yet, so she stopped for a moment and just looked at him. She didn't see his tired face or his scars when she saw him. All she could see was the same big brown eyes she fell in love with and a face that just wanted a smile on it; the same hair that was always getting in his eyes, the same lips that were just so good at tempting her. He was and always would be her Filip.

She made her way toward him, stopping at the very first grave she came to in the Telford plot, her son's. She placed her hand on the cold stone, remembering the boy who had looked so much like his father, the boy who hadn't even lasted a full day in this world. She often wondered how their lives would have been different if their boy had been born healthy, but she knew that there was no sense going down that road. What was done, was done. She kept her hand on the headstone for a moment, giving a tender prayer for the boy that they had loved so, so much, and that was how Filip found her when he looked up.

He hadn't realized it until he looked up and saw her standing there, but she was what he had really been waiting for, what he had needed this whole time. They didn't say anything to each other. He just watched her as she kissed her hand and placed it on the headstone before walking towards him. She sat down next to him and he breathed just a little bit easier, now that he was in her presence and could see for himself that she was alright. She took one of his hands in both of her small ones, raising it to her lips and kissing it. She looked at those eyes, marveling at how they never changed, never lost their kindness.

"I am so sorry, Love," she whispered to him.

That was all it took. She watched that face she loved crumble. Her Filip was not a man who cried easily, nor was he a man who accepted comfort from just anybody. He needed this, though, and she was just glad that she could do this for him. Fiona wrapped her arms around him and just let him cry. It was only a matter of moments before she was crying, too. This man, her husband, had lost nearly everything. They were in a cemetery, surrounded by the graves of his parents, his siblings, even his son. Because of her, he had lost his home, his daughter, his wife, his friends, and very nearly his life. He had given so much of himself for her, for their family. Then and there, sitting on the cold ground in a cemetery, Fiona made a silent promise. She promised that she was going to make it up to him, somehow. She had to find a way.

She held onto him for a long time, until both of their tears dried. Even then, she didn't let go. She wanted to be close to him, to keep him as close to her as possible for as long as she could. Eventually, he lifted his head up and met her eyes. He leaned in and gave her a short, but intensely sweet kiss.

"Thanks. I'm sorry," he said, his voice rough as gravel.

"For what, Love? You owe me no apologies. After all the times you have been there for me, you owe me nothing," she told him, leaning her forehead against his. Fiona knew that he was taking this very hard, knew that he would take all of the responsibility and blame on his own shoulders. "You know, Filip, that none of this is your fault? You didn't cause any of this?"

"Fiona.." he started, looking away from her. She stopped him, gently using her hand to force his eyes back to hers.

"Filip. You didn't do any of this. You can't blame yourself for any of it, no way. This is all Jimmy, all of it. If, by extension, you want to blame me, that I can understand, but not you. You are completely off the hook here," she declared firmly, leaving absolutely no room to argue.

"You think I blame you? You think that this is your fault?" he asked here, looking completely alarmed.

"I said I wouldn't blame you if you did. It was me that brought him in to our lives. Regardless of the hard time we were having, he was my choice. We talk about this yesterday. I am not going to forgive myself overnight, but I will try. Neither of us wanted this to happen, but you blaming yourself is out of the question," she told him, as gently as she could.

He nodded, but was quiet for a while. She wished, not for the first time, that she could read his mind. What she wouldn't give for just a little bit of insight into his thoughts. They had known each other for most of their lives, but sometimes, he was still a closed book to her. She knew that eventually, he would open up, so she just held his hand and waited patiently.

"I should have been there today, Fi. I shouldn't have left you alone. He never should have gotten that close," his words surprised her. He wasn't looking at her, but was staring at the ground in front of him. She couldn't believe how stubborn he was, always had been.

"If you had been there today, Love, it would be you with a bullet through your skull, and not Michael Casey. We both know that he would have killed you with glee, and Kerryanne and I, we wouldn't have lasted even a minute after that. I thank God that you weren't there today. Besides, you didn't leave us alone. You left us with the most ferocious of guard dogs. Gemma and Maureen are not to be trifled with," she told him seriously, but with a smile on her face.

"He's not going to get near you again," he promised her, his voice stern, and she believed him.

"I know. You are always taking care of us. Besides, Gemma nearly killed him. After today, I don't think he will be very eager to be seen around town. Let's not worry about him right now, though. Let's have a drink for our nephew, and the rest of these Telfords," she said, taking the flask out of her purse and handing it to him.

He held her hand as he took a long slow drink from the flask, before handing to it her. She took her drink, and took a moment to remember each and every person here. Some of them she had loved, some of them she had hated, but all of them had helped make her husband the man he was, and she was thankful for that. She idly wondered where Padraic would be laid, and hoped it would be on the end, next to her own son.

Together, they finished the whiskey in the flask. She put it away and turned to him. He looked more calm, like he was only carrying half the world on his shoulders. She brushed the hair out of his eyes and said, "We should go. I left that Juice boy with our Kerryanne. It will be a miracle if she hasn't torn him apart."

He laughed at that, knowing in his brain that Juice would protect Kerryanne, but amusing himself with the idea of Kerry clawing the unsuspecting boy to death. "I should go to Ashby's. I need to meet with the boys."

"Aye, but you need to come to the church first. Your daughter has been going crazy. She needs to see you Filip, needs to know that you are okay," she told him, adamantly.

"Yeah, okay. Let's go," he said, standing up and pulling her to her feet. Their hands were clasped together as they walked past all of the graves, both of their eyes lingering on their boy's as they walked past. He didn't let go of her hand until they reached his bike. She climbed on behind him and held him tightly as they sped off towards their little girl.


	29. Chapter 29

**Here's the next chapter! Not much to say this morning, mostly because it is way too early to be at work on a Monday morning. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and as always, REVIEW!**

When Filip entered the tiny rectory, he almost had to stop himself from laughing aloud at the scene that greeted him. Juice was standing near the door, shuffling nervously from foot to foot. Kerryanne was seated on the couch, glaring at him silently, her eyes narrowed, her arms crossed. It was clear that there was a battle of wills going on, and the only reason Juice was winning was the size advantage. He and Fiona walked through the door and Kerry was on her feet and in his arms within seconds. Juice just looked relieved that they were back and he was no longer responsible for the girl.

His little daughter was clinging to him tightly, crying her eyes out. He was amazed that she could go from angsty, furious teenager to sobbing girl so quickly, but that was the least of his concerns right now. She was hugging the life out of him, crying hysterically, and forming indecipherable words. He held on to her, just slightly less tightly. He had gone too many years without her hugs, so he was going to take advantage of them as often as he could. He was, however, beginning to wonder if she might be having a panic attack or some other sort of fit. He moved his arms from around her to grip her shoulders. He pushed her back just slightly, forcing her to look at him.

"Kerryanne? Listen, Darlin', I am so sorry. I know you are probably scared and mad, but please don't cry. We are all in one piece and everything is going to be okay," he told her, feeling sort of frantic because he hated to see her cry.

"I'm not mad, Da. It's just, today has been…" she trailed off, trying to think of the right word. "Shit. Today has just been shit."

He somehow found that really, really funny. She looked like she was waiting to get yelled at for cursing. That could come from her mother, though; he just hugged her and smiled where she couldn't see. It seemed as if she was done crying, at least for now, and she came up with a tissue to dry her face. Juice and Fiona were both staring at him. Juice looked in awe, probably wondering how he had managed to calm the girl. Fiona's just looked like she loved him, and he was absolutely fine with that.

"Can you stay, Da?" Kerry asked, sounding heartbreakingly hopeful. He didn't want to tell her no, wanted to stay with them, but he really did have some things he had to discuss with the boys. They would be expecting him back, and soon. They needed to come up with some sort of a plan as to who was going to pay for this and how. He opened his mouth to tell her he had to go, but Juice cut him off.

"He has to go back to Maureen's, the guys will be meeting, but he'll be back after that," Juice told Kerry, surprising Filip and Fiona both.

Kerryanne's smile was electric, "Seriously?"

"Absolutely," Filip told her, smiling himself before leaning down and kissing her forehead. He loved this little girl so goddamn much, and if she felt safer and happier with him there, than he would be there. Fiona looked relieved and more than a little happy herself. Filip was not used to being so wanted, but it was something he could get used to. He hugged her to him again, this time pulling Fiona in as well. He may have lost Paddy today, but at least Filip knew the boy was at peace, and it only made him want to hold his family that much closer.

_Oh, God._ He was suddenly stricken by the knowledge that he would have to tell his daughter, sometime very, very soon, that her cousin was dead. Had it really only been yesterday that the two of them had been sitting together on the bed, fighting and smiling about music, teasing each other mercilessly? And now, Paddy was gone forever. Kerryanne would be beside herself. She loved her cousin, had always loved him, and had relied on him in many ways. Filip knew that there was no way she was going to take this news well. Should he tell her now? If he did that, and then just left, it would feel too much like he was abandoning her. But if he waited until he returned tonight, she would be furious that they hadn't told her sooner. Jesus, was parenting always this hard?

Fiona solved the problem for him. "Kerryanne, let's sit down, Love. Da and I need to tell you about something."

She took it exactly how he thought she would. At first she was just stunned, but it didn't take long for that stunned silence to turn into grief and anger. He and her Ma took turns holding her, soothing her, until she finally looked like she was about to just collapse in sheer exhaustion. Filip picked her up and carried her into bed, like he had done so many times when she was little. Fiona laid next to her, stroking her hair until she fell asleep, pausing only to kiss him soundly and make him promise to be careful and hurry back.

He reentered the living room to find Juice, standing anxiously, looking ready to go.

"Hey Chibs. Listen man, I'm sorry for answering for you, but you have to be here tonight. Your daughter is terrified, and there is absolutely no reason for you to have to be at Ashby's. You can blame it on me, if you want to; tell the guys I promised them you would be here, whatever. I just…felt bad," Juice explained, so very ineloquently. The kid actually thought that Filip was mad at him.

"No worries, Juicey," Filip said, heading for the door. Juice quickly moved to follow him. "Not so fast, kid. I want you to stay with them. I hope this won't take long, but I have no idea when I will be back and I don't want them alone."

"What about you? You can't ride back alone," the kid argued.

"We aren't talking about me. I want you on them. They are your priority. Anybody who comes through this door who isn't me, you shoot them, understood?" Filip persisted. He appreciated the concern, he really did, but his girls were more important.

"Yeah, okay," Juice agreed once he saw how serious the older man was. He could do this.

Filip clapped the boy on the shoulder before leaving. He walked out past the new guard Father Kellan had for the girls and made his way back to his bike. He lit a cigarette and grabbed his prepay, making a quick call to the boys to let them know he was safe and on his way. Climbing on his bike, he started it and felt the engine roar to life. He wanted to go get this over with. The sooner he got back to Ashby's, the sooner he could be back here, where he belonged.


	30. Chapter 30

**Here is the next little bit. Hope you guys enjoy! And REVIEW! :-)**

It was several hours later that Filip softly knocked on the door of the rectory. It was very close to midnight and he was completely exhausted, but not even a little bit tired. It had been a rough night at church, debating, arguing, and planning over and over again. The entire club was walking on eggshells everywhere, and it was not something they were good at or particularly enjoyed doing. Filip was more than happy to be back at St. Matt's and wanted nothing more than to check on his daughter and then crawl into his wife's arms.

The door opened suddenly and he was staring down the barrel of a pistol. _Good boy, Juice._

Juice quickly lowered the gun upon seeing it was just him at the door, and stepped aside allowing him in, looking slightly apologetic and more than a little bit exhausted. Filip made his way in and locked the door behind him before handing Juice one of the two bags he carried, which contained the boy's laptop and clothing. Juice correctly interpreted this to mean that he would be staying with Fiona and Kerryanne for the duration of the trip, which he was happy to do.

"Everything okay at Maureen's?" Juice asked.

"Not exactly. They are down three members, and they take that news almost as well as SAMCRO does. I imagine that there will be a lot of blood and vomit to clean in the morning. Luckily, neither of us will be there to help with that particular chore," Filip replied. He lit two cigarettes and handed one to Juice. "Everything okay here?"

"Yeah, man. I think so. Kerry is asleep, I think. I haven't seen her since you left. Fiona made me a sandwich; beat me at chess a couple of times. I think she went to bed though. Everything has been quiet," Juice filled him in.

"Quiet is good. I think we could all use a little quiet after today. You got everything you need?" Filip asked, glancing at the already made up couch.

"Yeah, I'm good. Especially if my DS is in here!" he smiled and gestured to his bag.

Filip had no earthly idea what the boy was talking about, so he just nodded and put out his cigarette. "Night Juice."

He walked down the hall and stopped at the still open door to the room Kerryanne was sleeping in. She looked peaceful enough curled up on her side. He was glad that she was finally resting. She needed it after a day like today. He quietly left her room and found Fiona in the next room, sitting on the bed with a lukewarm cup of tea in her hands. There was a box at the foot of the bed, and a stack of pictures in front of her. Apparently, he had interrupted a trip down memory lane.

"Hello, Love," she smiled up at him, setting aside the tea and pictures and moving to kiss him as he sat down at the edge of the bed. He didn't say anything to her, but wrapped an arm around her waist and deepened the kiss instead. She allowed him to get away with it for a moment before pulling back and giving him a final kiss on the cheek.

"What're you looking at?" he asked.

"Just some old pictures," she told him.

"What were boxes of our old pictures doing at the rectory?" he asked, puzzled.

"Well, they weren't. They were stored. I asked…I mean…I had…They were…" her voice caught and trailed off. He instantly realized why.

"Is this what Paddy was bringing to you the other night?" he asked, surprised at how much it hurt to even say his name.

"Yeah. I thought Kerry might like to see them. Remember this one?" she asked. He took the picture she handed him. They had to have been about 15 at the time it was taken. She had been laughing and looking directly at the camera, while he had been looking at nothing but her.

"Aye. We were gorgeous fucking kids, weren't we?" he asked.

"What do you mean were?" Fiona asked him with a raised eyebrow. He laughed and kissed her again before getting up and pulling a pair of sweatpants from his bag to change. She worked on clearing off the bed, knowing that he couldn't handle looking at some of the pictures in that box tonight. She pulled back the blankets and settled in his arms as he climbed back into bed. Resting her head against his chest and hugging his waist, she asked, "Are you okay, Love?"

Filip buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply before answering her. He loved the way she smelled. "No, I'm not okay, but I am better than I was. Much better, actually. Thanks for letting me stay here tonight. Needed to be with you guys, I think."

"You don't need to thank me. You always have a place with us. Don't forget that," she told him.

He looked down at her and felt so thankful to have her in his life, in his bed, in his arms again. He didn't know what he had done to deserve this second chance, but he was grateful. "I won't, I promise. Just stay close to me tonight, okay Fi?"

She leaned up on her elbow and kissed him softly. "You've got it."

Fiona turned and lay so that her head was resting on his arm, her spine pressed tightly against his side. She smiled and mentally counted the seconds. She hadn't even gotten to five before he turned his body, sliding an arm around her waist from behind. She loved lying like this with him; it was perfection. She wasn't tired, but she was very, very comfortable. They weren't sleeping, they weren't talking; they were just lying together, lost in their own thoughts. A soft knock interrupted those thoughts. It took him a split second to reach for his gun, and another split second for him to freeze when Kerryanne's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Da? Ma? Are you awake? Can I come in?" she asked, her voice quiet and wavering.

"Yeah come in," Fiona answered, worry in her voice. "What's wrong?"

Kerry opened the door and peeked inside. Her parents were in bed, but they were both thankfully fully clothed. "I had a dream, it woke me up," she explained in a shaky voice. "Do you think I could…I mean, would you mind if…"

She didn't even get a chance to finish asking her question before she got her answer. Her Da pulled the covers back and her Ma reached her arms out. She gratefully climbed into them and buried her face in her Ma's shoulder. She felt the warm blanket tucked around her and her Ma's arms holding her, joined by her Da's arms holding them both. She closed her eyes, feeling warm and safe in the arms of her parents.


	31. Chapter 31

**I know, a second chapter in less than a day. I just figured that after a tense election and a tense episode last night, you guys needed some sexy, sexy...sex. Yeah so, his chapter is very much adult, so if you are not an adult, go play with some blocks ot something! The rest of you read, enjoy, and review, please!**

Filip awoke the next morning from a long, deep sleep, to hear Fiona and Kerryanne talking. Kerryanne wasn't still curled in bed, he could tell that much, but Fiona hadn't moved at all. He lay perfectly still, eavesdropping on their conversation.

"I am hungry, Ma. Do you think that Da would make me breakfast?" Kerryanne asked.

"I am sure he would, if he was awake, but he isn't and you are not going to do a thing to change that," Fiona insisted smartly. "Besides, the kitchen isn't exactly overflowing with goods. The last of the sandwich stuff got eaten last night, so unless your Da can work miracles with mustard, three eggs, and two heels of bread, you would be out of luck anyway. I will go shopping later."

Kerry was quiet for a few moments, and Filip thought that she had given up, but he could almost hear the gears in her brains turning.

"Or I could go!" came Kerryanne's solution. Filip stiffened up for a moment, hoping that Fiona would not allow for it. Unfortunately, it also alerted Fiona to the fact that he was awake. She squeezed his arm once, unnoticed by Kerryanne, who was pitching a fit.

"Why not? Do you think Jimmy is going to come out of hiding and murder me in a grocery store? I doubt the man has ever even been to one in his entire life," Kerry argued. Fiona's silence remained her only answer, but the gears were turning in Kerry's head again. "What if I get Juice to take me?"

Filip had somehow completely forgotten about Juice until that very moment.

"You can't wake him up either, Kerryanne. I mean it," Fiona was getting weary over this conversation quickly.

"But he is already up! He has been sitting there, typing away on his computer for over an hour! Have I mentioned that it's not fair that he is allowed to do God knows what on a computer in the rectory, but I am not allowed to have my own computer because it's 'not appropriate for a young lady'?" Kerry whined.

"That wasn't my rule, Kerryanne, and you know it," Fiona argued, sounding as if she had had this conversation many times before.

"Please Ma? I just want to get out of here for a few minutes. And get some food. Please? He won't let anything happen to me, you know he won't!"

"Fine! See if he will take you. But you better buy something good to eat!" Fiona insisted as Kerry hopped off the bed and rushed in to begin working on Juice, and hopefully get dressed. Fiona waited until the coast was clear before sliding her hand into his and bringing it to her lips and kissing it while whispering good morning. He responded by tightening his grip around her waist, just slightly.

A few minutes later Kerryanne came back in to tell Fiona that she was off. She leaned down to kiss her Ma, and surprised Filip by placing a soft kiss on his cheek, too, before saying a bit too loudly, "Bye Ma!" and rushing out. They stayed very still while they heard the door slam and lock from the outside. Fiona took that opportunity to turn herself in his arms to face him. She pressed her lips to his in a seductive kiss. She was clearly already aware of his usual morning situation. It was not generally an issue, but when sleeping next to Fiona, he wondered when it would _not_ be an issue. He also wondered what she was planning.

One look in her eyes told him that it was probably something good. He kissed her again and let it continue for a few minutes. Whatever she had up her sleeve, it was up to her to make the next move. He certainly didn't have to wait long for that to happen. She grabbed and tugged on the hem of his shirt, breaking the kiss to tell him "off, now", a command to which he quickly complied. Tossing his shirt to the floor somewhere, she pulled him back down again and was immediately on top of him, attacking his mouth with gusto. He was confused as to why she was fully clothed, however. It didn't take him very long to figure it out.

She pulled her lips away from his and, looking him in the eye and said, "I'm pretty hungry."

He was a bit thrown by that. The only thing he could think to say was, "They just left for the store, you can eat later, but right now you have to get naked."

"Nope, need to have something in my mouth now," she smirked at him as he finally got it. "Already told you that I needed a longer taste."

He wasn't going to argue with her, not right now when she was working her way down his body with her lips. Fiona was very, very talented, and Filip loved what her mouth could do to him, so no, he was not going to argue. If she wanted to do this, it was more than fine with him. As he lifted his hips just slightly so she could deal with his sweat pants, he decided that it was actually something he would encourage at every available opportunity.

His thoughts altogether stopped when he felt Fiona's right hand wrap around the base of his cock and her mouth around the head as began working her magic. She knew exactly what she was doing, exactly how to use her tongue and lips and exactly how hard to suck. Filip had had this particular act preformed on him many, many times by many, many women. Not a single one of those other women, however, could hold a candle to Fiona. It all came down to the fact that she knew him, knew what he liked and didn't like, better than any person on the planet.

He leaned up on his elbows just a bit so that he could watch her. The sight of her lips sliding over his cock as her tongue worked up and down the underside almost made him lose it right then and there. Her insane hair was framing the image, and if he concentrated slightly less on his cock, he could feel her hair tickle his skin as well. He just watched her for several minutes, enjoying every second of the sensory overload he was currently experiencing. She was very much into this, and he loved that about her. Some women acted like they were doing a guy a massive favor, but he knew that she enjoyed this, actually liked to do it.

At that moment, she glanced up and her eyes met his. Her mouth was occupied, but he could see the smile in her eyes. She stepped up her pace just a bit and really got busy, her eyes never leaving his. She liked to watch him, wanted to see his face when he finally let himself go and came. Judging from the way her mouth was working, she would get her chance very, very soon because there was no way he was going to last much longer. Hell, he was impressed that he had lasted these ten minutes.

With the hand not currently occupied on the lower part of his cock, she reached up and laced her fingers through his, holding his hand tightly and she continued. He felt his orgasm build in the pit of his stomach, and had enough consideration to at least warn her.

"Fi, Jesus, I'm going to…" he was able to stammer out.

She squeezed his hand and his cock tighter at his warning, but didn't let up for even an instant. It was second later that he was coming hard into her mouth. She continued, allowing herself to drink him in, not wasting a single bit. Fiona absolutely loved the way he tasted; exactly like a man should. She had been eager for this, amongst other things, since she first saw him lying in the hospital bed. She kept up her attentions until she was absolutely sure that he was done before she slowly backed off. He had collapsed back onto the bed, but still kept a tight grip on her hand.

She moved herself up and settled herself next to him on the bed, enjoying his rapid heartbeat and heavy breathing while he recovered. She ran her hand through his surprisingly soft hair with a small, smug smile on her face. She was confident that, while he had been with countless women during these years apart, none of them had ever seen him like this or made him feel like this. She loved that he saved the best parts of himself, parts like this, for her and her alone.

He surprised her when he moved quickly, putting her on her back. He moved one of his hands down to the waist of her pants and said, voice low and rough, echoing her earlier command, "Off. Now."

After her skills in action for the past 20 minutes or so, there was absolutely no way he could want to fuck her, which meant there was only one thing he could want.

"No, Filip. You don't have to. I didn't…" was all she could get out before he cut her off, repeating his earlier demand. This time she listened and slid her pajama pants down her legs. He eyed her shirt, wondering if he could get away with demanding its removal as well. This act didn't require her to be shirtless, but he loved her tits, loved seeing them, and so he didn't even ask her, he just removed her shirt himself. She was now very naked on the bed next to him.

He worked his way down her body, lovingly taking in every inch of her soft skin. He made sure to give each breast ample attention, just to show his appreciation. He hadn't even made it south of her belly button yet and she was already breathing hard and practically shaking in anticipation. Finally, he reached his goal and had her positioned exactly how he wanted her, left leg against the bed, right leg over his shoulder. He wished he could make her wait just a little bit longer, because she was already moaning in anticipation and he really wanted to see how far he could take that, but her pussy was right in front of him, inches from his face, and he could actually see how wet and eager she was. He snaked his right arm up around her waist, holding her into place as his tongue finally hit its target.

Filip didn't do this for other women. Never. He wasn't like Bobby Elvis, who loved the taste of pussy so much he would indulge any time, any place, any woman. No, Filip did not like doing this for other women, but he fucking loved doing this for her. Fiona tasted like perfection. There was no other taste in the world that he could liken it to. He worked his tongue, agonizingly slowly over her clit, getting as much of her taste as he could.

Her hand was knotted in his hair, and her voice, which was mostly unintelligible, was throwing out a few key words, like "yes" and "Filip" and "please". He could tell by her intense reaction that nobody had taken care of this particular need in a very, very long time. He was glad. He was pretty confident in saying that, judging from Fiona's sex starved persona, Jimmy O. couldn't figure his way around a pussy with a detailed road map. He was glad that he could give her a hand with that, or in this case, a tongue. Fiona was his, and he would gladly handle anybody who needed reminding of that.

Focusing on the task in front of him, he situated his lips around her clit and began sucking, gently at first, but building up steam as he kept it up. Her moans increased in volume and intensity the longer he kept it up. He changed tactics for a moment, deciding that he wasn't going to let her come so quickly or so easily. He allowed two of his fingers to slide inside of her as his tongue focused on her clit delivering light, soft strokes at completely random intervals. His hand was very quickly as drenched as his face was, and he decided that as much as he loved making her come with his cock, he loved making her come this way even more.

He kept up for several minutes, driving her insane with his fingers moving deliberately slowly in and out of her and his tongue giving her no pattern whatsoever. Soon, she was begging him, pleading with him to let her come. He would give that to her in a minute, but first, he moved his fingers and replaced them with his tongue, eager for a concentrated taste of her. Once that craving was satisfied, he allowed his fingers to resume their place, while his tongue began stroking her clit in earnest, increasing in pressure and speed to coordinate with his fingers inside of her. He waited until she was right at the peak, right on the very edge, before placing his lips around her swollen clit one last time and sucking, hard.

She might love watching his face when he came, but it was nothing compared to how much he loved watching her pussy, up close and personal, as she came. He knew enough to back off when she came down from her orgasm, but he placed one more, very open mouthed kiss, on her clit before freeing her hips from his grasp and making his way up the bed again.

He lay on his side, with his hand resting still on her belly, just watching her. Her eyes were closed, her lips were parted, and her chest was heaving. He could feel her body still trembling beneath his hand, and her skin was flushed. Her hair was completely out of control. Filip had never found her more beautiful. He was, not for the first time, taken with how absolutely silly in love he was with her. He moved his hand to the side of her face, gently turning her head so that she was looking at him.

"You okay?" he asked her, knowing that she was, but wanting to hear her say it anyway.

"A bit better than okay, I'd say," she told him. "You are amazing, Love."

"Well, I think the jury's still out on that, actually," he jested.

"Is it? Well, fuck the jury. I find you amazing," she told him in earnest.

"You're the only jury that counts anyway, Fi, so I will take your word for it," he told her with a smile. "I think you expressed some concern a few days ago about our daughter walking in and seeing us naked, so I regret to say that we should probably get you dressed again."

She laughed at him, and instead of getting dressed, wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, feeling both elated and thankful to be loved by such a man.


	32. Chapter 32

**Not much to say, today. Enjoy and please review!**

There were two sides to Filip Telford that were at war right now. The one side was watching an old friend, a man he had been young and stupid with, tied by his wrists to the ceiling being tortured. The other side was watching an enemy of the club, a man who had turned his back on the Sons and on Filip himself, being tortured. The internal war was not long and difficult. Filip knew which side was going to win, knew which side s_hould_ win. That didn't mean he had to like it.

Filip knew and agreed that Liam O'Neill deserved to die. In Filip's mind, the fact that he had betrayed the Club and his brothers was very much second to the fact that he was working for Jimmy, and had, on Jimmy's orders, killed his beloved nephew and tried to aid in the kidnapping of his wife and daughter. So yes, Liam deserved to die. Hell, anybody working for Jimmy could die as far as Filip was concerned. He was a firm believer that, when one made deals with the Devil, they should never be surprised to wake up in Hell.

What Filip was having a hard time with was reconciling the Liam O'Neill that was working for Jimmy with the Liam O'Neill that he had Prospected with, the one who had been at his wedding, the one that had told him just a few days ago that he was happy Filip was home. There was no way that they could be the same person. Filip and Liam had been friends, very good friends. They had always had each other's back. Filip just couldn't quite grasp why his friend was happily taking order from Jimmy O'Phalen.

Liam had always lusted after one thing: money. Well, women too, but they were easy enough to come by, especially when you were a Son. Money, however, was much more difficult to obtain, especially living in Belfast. Like most of them, Liam had grown up dirt poor on the streets. Filip could understand not wanting to go back to that, but Liam was nowhere close. Liam had always had enough money to get by and then some, but it was never enough for him. Filip idly wondered exactly how many pieces of silver Jimmy had had to fork over to buy Liam's allegiance. He somehow hoped that it was a lot. He hoped that Liam had at least demanded a hefty price for this betrayal.

The things that Sean Casey was doing to Liam were just plain medieval. Watching a man get carved up and skinned was not something Filip had ever wanted to watch, but he couldn't force himself to look away. His eyes remained on Liam, his ears very much tuned into the pleas for mercy. He really did not care at all. Happy was in his element. Filip would not have been even remotely surprised if Happy had an erection; he really looked just that excited. It was more than a little bit fucked up.

Filip heard Liam admit that he had been working for Jimmy, and his heart broke just a little. He heard Jax fire two shots, and just like that, Liam O'Neill was dead. Before he could even muster up a small amount of sadness or pity, one of the SAMBEL boys came in to tell them that Jimmy's guys were on their way. They all froze for a moment, but it seemed like Clay had a plan. They dumped any and all chemicals they could find all over the room before climbing to the roof. Filip spared one last look for his old friend, still hanging from the ceiling, before quickly making his way to the rooftop.

They all waited, with guns ready. Clay lit and dropped a bottle of whiskey down the hatch, and they could hear all hell breaking loose below them. They could hear the scream and smell the smoke already beginning to rise from the building below. Of course, within seconds, Jimmy was the first to crawl up the ladder. The man was the worst kind of snake, always managing to escape from every corner that he was backed in to. Luckily, they all had their guns trained on him the second he emerged, and Filip took envious joy in watching Jax punch Jimmy across the face.

Before he knew it, bullets were flying in both directions, and everybody was moving for cover. He didn't know who he was shooting at, but he knew that he hit at least a few. He wished that he could say he felt nothing, absolutely no guilt at killing these men, but he did. These were really just boys, kids that Jimmy had conned into doing his bidding. They didn't know any better; Jimmy had fooled far wiser people. No, they did not deserve to die, but they were shooting too, and when it came down to a choice between shooting stupid kids or letting himself and his brothers get shot, he knew the choice that he would make each and every time.

He watched helplessly from behind cover as Donny emerged, grabbed Jimmy, and shoved him through the door before closing it behind them. How Jimmy managed to escape from them each and every time was like something out of a Harry Potter novel. Filip was pissed, but he did not allow this latest escape to faze him too much. He knew that Jimmy was running out of place to hide, places to escape to, and that sooner or later, his time would come. Right now, they had a very different fish to fry.

He saw Clay confront McGee, heard McGee explain the reasons for his betrayal. Money. It was always about fucking money. Did these people have nothing better to worry about? Was betraying their friends, their families, and the goddamned IRA worth a little bit of cash lining their pockets? Filip just couldn't fucking understand it. He had come close to turning his back on SAMCRO exactly once in his life, and it sure as shit was not for the sake of money. These so called men were worth nothing.

He watched from the sidelines as Clay pushed McGee off the building. He put his gun away and followed the rest of the guys as they began the clean up and get away process. This day was turning into another fucking disaster, and all he wanted to do was get it done with and get home to his girls.


	33. Chapter 33

**Here's the next part! Hope you all are enjoying this! Review please!**

When they rolled up in front of Ashby's several hours later, Filip was not at all surprised to see Juice standing guard outside the main door. News of McGee and O'Neill had traveled very fast, and he suspected that Fiona would want to be here for Maureen. He parked his bike near the rest of the guys and made his way to Juice.

"Hey Chibs, listen, Fiona made me bring them here. I told her that we should stay at the rectory, but she said that if I didn't bring them here, she would tell you that I was watching them shower, and I wasn't! Of course I wasn't. But I think she was serious when she said it, and she is a little bit scary, you know?" Juice spewed out, looking very, very nervous. This actually made Filip laugh.

"More than a little scary, I'd say. No worries Juice. They inside?" he asked the concerned boy.

"Yeah, up in the house," Juice replied, looking relieved. Filip left him and made his way up the stairs to Maureen's place. He knocked quietly and, when he got no response, softly opened the door and entered. The kitchen was empty, but he could hear Fiona's voice softly coming from down the hall in Maureen's room. The light was on in the living room and the TV was going, so he made his way there.

Kerryanne was sitting on the sofa, headphones in her ears, not watching the TV at all. She had something in her lap that she was looking at, but he couldn't tell what it was. The headphones meant that she had absolutely no idea he was there. He knew that, later, he would have to lecture her on how she was supposed to be staying alert and not getting abducted or shot, but for now, he just looked at her for a moment. He wondered how she was holding up under all of this shit. She looked tired, but other than that, completely unfazed. He knew for sure that she was wearing most of her damage inside. She was a strong girl, just like her mother, and he knew that she would come through all of this okay. She had to.

He took a couple of steps closer to where she was sitting. She must have somehow heard him, because before he could blink, she was on her feet, facing him, with a small revolver pointed at his head. He raised his arms and stood still, as if to convince her that he meant no harm.

"Your safety's on. And I am willing to bet that thing isn't even loaded," he calmly told her, once he was sure that she wasn't going to shoot him. This caused her to smile in wonder.

"What's a safety? And how do you know it's not loaded?" she asked him, finally lowering the gun.

He walked around the sofa and took the gun from her. She hugged him tightly before sitting down again. He joined her this time. He checked the gun to make sure that he had been right about the whole not being loaded thing, and was relieved to find out he had been. He pointed to the small pin on the side of the revolved and told her, "This is the safety. The gun won't fire when the safety is on. It's meant to keep young girls from shooting their poor, unsuspecting fathers. And as for how I knew it was not loaded, that one is easy. I knew that there was no way Juice would leave you in here with a loaded gun, because he knows that if he did, I would murder him with said gun."

Kerry laughed, "He didn't know I had it. I found it lying around in the kitchen. And I wasn't going to shoot you! I was just surprised, that's all. It was you sneaking up on me, after all."

"I am glad that you chose not to shoot me, Love. Not that you could have, with the safety on. Have you ever even shot a gun before?" he asked her.

"No, I am not allowed to touch guns," she told him, honestly. "Hey! Will you teach me how? To shoot, I mean."

As happy as he was that his daughter wanted to learn something from him, he was more than a little bit hesitant to tell her yes. It was mostly because he was unsure of whether or not Fiona would kill him for saying yes, but also because the idea of his little girl shooting a gun unnerved him. Instead of an actual answer, he told her, "Maybe."

He put the gun down on the coffee table, and his eyes fell on what Kerryanne had been looking at. It was the same photo album he had looked at many nights ago, as well as a handful of other photos. She leaned forward and picked them up again, before settling back on the couch and leaning against him.

"I found some of these at the rectory. I was just looking at them. They are from when I was little. Look at this one! I like it, I think it's from when I was born." she said, handing him a picture. It was, in fact from the day she was born. It was a picture of him looking exhausted and a bit terrified, holding the tiny, screaming little baby girl. She was wrapped in a standard white hospital blanket, and had a little pink hat on, and he was looking at her like she was the single most amazing thing in the world.

"Yeah, that's the first time I ever held you, actually. You were only two or three minutes old. I couldn't believe how tiny you were," he told her, remembering the day perfectly. It may have been more than fourteen years ago, but looking at the picture, he was right back in that hospital room.

"I think babies are supposed to be small, Da," she told him with more than a little sarcasm in her voice.

He smiled. Of course she didn't understand. "Have you ever seen a newborn baby before?"

"No," she told him, wondering what he was getting at.

"Well, than you couldn't possibly understand. You were more than just small. You were tiny. You have to realize, we had been waiting, really our whole lives, to meet you, and all of a sudden there you were and you were just so small and helpless. And loud. You had me wrapped around your finger from this very second, you know," he told her, handing back the picture and kissing her forehead. There was no doubting the love he had for his girl.

"I will keep that in mind. You look so young," she commented, still looking at the picture.

"Not that young. I was 29, I think. Older than a lot of people when they have their first baby. Like I said, we waited a long time for you," he told her.

"I guess you are right," she admitted. "I was only a few minutes old in this picture? Where was Ma? Did they let you hold me first, or her?"

"Oh, she should have held you first, I think. She did all the hard work. But it was me, actually, who got that privilege. See, it had been a really long, hard night. You were born at 6:02am. Your Ma had a hard time delivering you, you see, and she was still bleeding a lot after you came out, so the doctors and nurses came and they got me right out of the way. I was panicking, because it was your Ma, and I wanted to be right there and make sure she was okay, and all of a sudden this nurse walked over and just handed you to me. I think it was actually that nurse who took this picture. They didn't figure I could go punch any doctors if I was holding you. I was a little bit in awe. You were just perfect. And you liked me. You stopped crying pretty quickly and just lay there, staring at me. After a few minutes, they got your Ma sorted out and let me take you over to see her. She opened her eyes and smiled at me, and then she held her arms out for you. She just held you and looked right at you and said, 'Hello, Kerryanne'. It was just one of those slow motion moments that you think only happen in movies," he explained to her.

"Why did you guys name me Kerryanne?" she asked.

"I have no idea, actually. I didn't pick it. Your Ma named you. We had this deal that if you were a boy, I could name you, but if you were a girl, she would get to. I kind of always knew that you were going to be a girl, and I tried for nine months to get your Ma to tell me the name she picked out, but she wouldn't. As soon as I heard it, I knew it was the perfect name for you, though," he admitted to her.

"What would you have named me if I was a boy?" she wanted to know.

"I have no idea, actually. Like I said, I sort of always knew you would be a girl. You probably would have been named for a dead relative or something. That's usually how it works, isn't it?" he said, only half kidding.

"I am glad I was a girl, then. I like my name. She did good," Kerry said.

"Agreed. What other pictures do you have there?" he asked.

They sat there for a long, long time. She would hand him a picture and he would tell her everything he knew about it. In turn, she told him stories behind some of the later pictures. She got to hear story after story, things that she had never known. She listened, was enraptured by the things she was hearing. His stories had her laughing so hard she was almost crying. Kerry hadn't expected to grow so attached to him so quickly. Of course, he was her father and she had always loved him, but she never really been absolutely positive of how strong that love was until now. He had always been this almost mythical figure in her life, kind of a great white hope that not all men were like Jimmy. She never, ever thought that he would live up to those expectations, but he did. He showed her what a real father was like, and she loved it. She finally knew what she had been missing all of these years, what Jimmy had deprived her of, and she hated him even more.

When Fiona came to check on Kerryanne, she found them on the couch, both consumed by hysterical laughter. She had no idea what they were laughing about, or why, upon seeing her, they laughed even harder, but she was in love with the sound of her husband and daughter laughing together. It was a sound she could get used to hearing. She just shook her head at the both of them and joined their laughter, just happy to be happy.


	34. Chapter 34

**Next chapter is here! Hope you all enjoy! Read and review!**

It was late. He knew he should be in bed, asleep next to his wife, but he wasn't. He had spent another fucking great evening with his family (and Juice). Kerryanne had helped him make dinner, and they had spent hours and hours playing cards, talking, and laughing. Fiona had tried (and failed) to beat him at chess with Kerry and Juice offering a running commentary of the matchup. It had been, pretty much, a perfect night. He should have zero energy left, especially after the carnal entertainment he and Fiona had engaged in after going to bed. Instead, he was wide awake, sitting on the cold, pebbled roof of the rectory, chain smoking. He had a lot on his mind.

He wasn't sure what he had been expecting when he came over here. This time he was spending with his family was completely perfect, in his opinion. His wife and his daughter, who he had thought lost to him forever, had welcomed him with open arms. Fiona still wanted him, still washed and folded his laundry, still kissed him, still loved him. He was just now getting to know his daughter, but everything he had seen so far, he loved. She reminded him of himself and Fiona, all wrapped up with a completely unique element of amazing all of her own. She talked to him, asked him things, treated him like….a father. These were things he had always hoped for, but never had the audacity to expect.

But now he was here, and he had seen and experienced every sort of wonderful thing his girls had to offer, and he was faced with something he did not expect. He didn't want to leave. If he had his way, he would stay here in this tiny rectory with Fiona and Kerryanne, frozen in time forever and ever. No, he didn't want to leave, but he knew that he would. He owed too much to the club, to Charming, to leave them behind and stay here, blissfully unaware of anything outside his family. He would have to go back to America, sooner rather than later, and he didn't know how he was going to do it.

Right now, he hated the idea of them being out of his sight. He was terrified that every time they were, he would never see them again. He knew he would feel at least slightly easier once Jimmy was dead, and he was now more than ever determined to make that happen. That was actually near the top of his to-do list. Whether they were happily together in the tiny rectory or miserable on separate continents, his number one priority was making sure his girls were safe, and he knew for a fact that until Jimmy was dead, they would not be. He knew that Jimmy would never stop coming for them.

What he didn't know was what life would look like after Jimmy was dead. In his ideal world, they would come back to Charming with him; turn his little house into a home. Fiona would be waiting for him when he got back from long, annoying runs. Kerryanne would go to school in Charming, make friends who were in no way affiliated with the IRA, and be happy. She would get her first job working at Teller-Morrow in a few years. He would be there to terrify the living shit out of any boy she even considered bringing home. Eventually, she would go to college, graduate, be successful at whatever she chose. And he and Fiona would be there, together, supporting her every step of the way.

He could see it all, the way you could sometimes remember a very vivid, realistic dream upon waking up. But he knew that's all it was- a dream. Kerryanne had been very, very clear his first night here. She had no desire to leave Ireland. Her friends were here, everything she knew was here. He was pretty sure that no amount of love he had for her, or her for him, would change her mind. And he understood, he really did. He knew what it was like to be pulled from your life and transplanted into another one, and he wouldn't wish it on anybody, especially not her.

But what did that leave him? He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Was he to kill Jimmy, pack his bags, and just go back to Charming, just like that? Maybe he would get a ten minute phone call from Kerryanne every other Sunday, updating him on her life. Maybe they would send each other Christmas cards and visit every couple of years. Was he supposed to just let his love for Fiona completely fade away and die, once and for all? Wait to get a phone call from her, asking earnestly for a real divorce, because she had met some accountant or something who could make a nice life for her? Was he supposed to go back to fucking random Croweaters and pretending he didn't wish to see her face on each and every one of them?

He didn't think he could do it. He had spent just a week with them, going through really, really fucked up shit, but still really happy. He just couldn't picture going back to how it was before, with them not knowing each other. He likened it to giving a small, starving child a taste of the most delicious chocolate in the world and then telling him he could never have it again. It would be literally the only thing the child would want, for the rest of forever. He wanted them, his girls, for the rest of forever. He just had no idea how to make that happen.

There was a part of him, a large, juvenile, stereotypically male part of him that was screaming at him to run away as far and as fast as he could. Every second that he spent here with them, he fell more and more in love. This part of him was begging him to just go, because he knew that the longer he stayed, the more it would hurt when it was actually time for him to leave. He was ashamed to admit it, but he was tempted for a moment to give in to this side of himself, but he knew that he would never do that again.

All those years ago, when his baby son had been born and died all on the same day, he had given in to this part of himself. There was too much pain to be dealt with, he couldn't handle it. He couldn't look at his daughter without seeing his son that was gone; he couldn't look at Fiona without taking all of her pain on himself. It was just too much for him to take. So he had taken the coward's way out and just distanced himself, not physically, but emotionally from the whole situation. He didn't grieve, he didn't talk about it, he didn't cry. He just refused to face what was happing to his family and pretended that the pain he was feeling didn't exist. Nothing positive had come from doing that. Which is why he would never, ever let Fiona to blame herself for their current situation.

He would not allow himself to handle this situation the same way. He took one last, long drag from his cigarette before putting it out and flicking it away. He said a silent prayer to whatever God was listening that he would find a way where everybody could be happy. He promised himself that he would try to do what was right this time. He had no idea how to do that, be he figured that actually talking to Fiona was a decent place to start. But not tonight. Tonight, he would go back inside and lie next to her and just watch her sleep.


	35. Chapter 35

**Here's the next part! Hope that you enjoy it while waiting for tonight's episode! Happy reading and REVIEW!**

Filip once again found himself sitting outside in the cold Irish night, chain smoking. This time, he was outside Ashby's being anti-social. The place was packed full of people, but he had wandered outside in hopes that a very specific one of them would follow him. Today had been another insane day, finding Sean Casey dead, panicking for a moment at the thought of Jimmy getting to his girls again, feeling shame at the relief he felt when he realized Jimmy was after Abel instead, chasing down the baby, and finally the waiting game. His biggest concern was that fact that he hadn't had a chance to talk to Fiona about his feelings yet. What a selfish, fucking pussy he was.

Fiona came out to find him as he was lighting his third cigarette.

"Wondered where you had gotten to," she said, sitting down unnecessarily close to him on the metal step. He welcomed it.

"Aye, it was really crowded in there. Just wanted a minute to think," he told her, somewhat truthfully.

She reached over and took his smoke, taking a drag before resting her head against his shoulder. He didn't even bother to try and hide his smile.

"Kerryanne has been looking for you. She's afraid you are mad at her for failing to pick up your famous poker skills," Fiona half-joked with him.

"That's ridiculous. I still think that they are there, just buried somewhere deep, deep down," he replied earning him a laugh and a moment of silence.

"Are you going to tell me what is bothering you, or should I start guessing?" she soon asked, wiping the smile from his face.

"Ah, Fi. I don't know," he attempted to evade. He wasn't sure why, because he knew he _had_ to talk about it, he had promised himself he would, but by this time, evading serious questions was second nature to him.

She picked her head up and used her hand to force him to look at her.

"Yes you do, Love. You know exactly what you want to say. Spit it out," she demanded, leaving him exactly zero room to avoid. It was now or never.

He took a deep breath and sighed, looking away from her face before softy saying, "Don't want to leave."

She didn't respond. He waited several moments, before turning to look at her again. She had a sad smile on her face.

"Is that all?" she asked gently.

He shrugged and nodded. Maybe it wasn't every last thought he had on the subject, but that was the general gist of it. They would get to the rest at some point, he was sure.

"Well, then. I don't want you to leave either, Filip. See, I sort of love having you here with us, and it's going to be brutal without you," she tenderly replied, taking his hand. He was grateful to have something to hold on to, something to keep him grounded.

"How's this going to work, Fi? Am I supposed to go home and forget any of this ever happened? Talk to you guys on the phone every so often, visit once a year? Because from there, it's not such a big step to never seeing you, never being around you. I have missed you, missed Kerryanne, so much these past ten years, even when I though you didn't want me. But that will be nothing compared to how much I will miss you guys now. I can't just go back to Charming and club parties and Croweaters and pretending not to think about you guys all the time. I just can't do it," he begged her to understand.

"I know. I really don't think there is any going back for either of us, Filip," she admitted.

"Well then what do we do, Fi? Because I have been thinking about it nonstop," he asked, hoping that she had some sort of answer.

"Well, we will come see you, and I hope you will come see us. Kerryanne and Juice have been talking incessantly about something called Skype, which sounds promising," she said. "It will be okay, you'll see."

"You know I will come see you. Of course I will. But how long until that won't be enough? What happens when you guys go back to your lives and get busy, and the phone calls start coming less and less, and then you guys have something going on and can't visit right now? Then, Kerryanne will get some stupid IRA boyfriend and won't want her Da around all the time. Then before we know it, she'll be grown and living her own life. And what if you meet somebody? Some nice, clean cut guy with an SUV and no scars whatsoever? Somebody who has absolutely no brothers and can be there all the time and can give you a nice life. What happens then, Fi?" he asked, kind of on the verge of a minor manic attack at this point, and he felt utterly ridiculous. He shouldn't be saying these things to her. He wanted her to be happy; always had. He felt incredibly selfish for feeling this way, but anytime he thought of her happy with another man, he immediately wanted to punch something. He wanted her for himself. If these fucked up circumstances had proven anything to him, it was that they belonged together.

She let go of his hand and stood up. He thought, for a split second, that she was going to walk away and start on that new life now, but instead she moved to the step in front of him, settling herself between his knees, placing a hand on each of his cheeks, and kissing him soundly. It was almost the last thing he expected her to do.

She broke the kiss and said, "Oh, my Filip. You are so silly sometimes. That's a lovely picture you paint, but I think you are forgetting one thing. I want no part of it. Clean cut has never really been my style. I think that, unless you have a family of six or more, SUV's are ridiculous, and I find scars very, very sexy. I was extremely lucky. I found the boy I want to be with forever when I was fourteen years old. I was careless and lost him for awhile, but he is in front of me now, and I won't let him get away again. I don't want anybody that is not you. Don't you know how much I love you, Filip?" she asked, honestly perplexed that he didn't realize exactly how much she wanted him, needed him, loved him.

"I know you do, Fi. I am just scared that it isn't going to be enough. I guess that's what it comes down to. I am fucking scared of losing you, losing Kerryanne. I want you guys with me all the time," he told her, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I know. Just have faith, Filip. We have been apart for ten years, and it hasn't managed to ruin us. You visit us as often as you can, and we will come to you, too. Summers and holidays and the like. And I will work my motherly magic on Kerryanne, see if I can't convince her to budge at all on her 'never leaving Ireland' stance. It will all work out, Love. You'll see," she said, kissing him again.

"You really think she would change her mind? Not that I doubt your magic, at all, but she seemed pretty adamant," he reminded her.

"Yes, but consider the circumstances. She was completely overwhelmed, and had known you for about two hours and we were talking a forced move because of Jimmy. But now? That little girl adores you. I have seen her look at you. It is not going to be easy for her to let you go. And if Jimmy is no longer a concern there, well, maybe it is something she would consider. Like I said, I can work on her. I have my ways. We will just come and visit, introduce her to some cute boys, and take her shopping, she will be hooked and never want to leave," she said, only half kidding.

"I hope you are right," he said, still not quite ready to allow himself to hope.

"I do, too. But even if she won't budge, we will just have to hold on with calls and visits for four years," she said, running her hands through his hair.

"Four years? What happens in four years?" he asked, completely at a loss as to the significance of the number.

"You said it yourself, Love. Before we know it, she will be grown, living her own life. In four years, our baby girl will be 18, in college. She won't need or want me around all the time, then. And when that happens, I will be wherever you are, providing you still want me, of course," she stated, completely serious.

He had really never thought of that. He wrote it off to not wanting to believe that Kerryanne would actually one day be grown. He knew that she had survived without him around for many years, but he never, ever pictured Fiona and Kerryanne seperately, with the exception of very private times, during which he didn't think of Kerryanne at all. He had always thought of them as a singularity, not Fiona and Kerryanne, rather FionaandKerryanne. But really, she was right. How many college students needed or wanted their mothers around all the time? Fiona would be lucky to have her home at Christmas and summer. And he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Fiona wouldn't sit around knitting and waiting for Kerry to come home. She said she wanted to come be with him, and for the first time, he saw a glimmer of hope in the situation. He smiled.

"I'll still want you. I'll always want you. I would prefer sooner, rather than later. But either way, really. I will take what I can get," he affirmed, before kissing her. She let him. He was still amazed that she wanted him, that she let him kiss her. He was amazed at how she could make him feel better with so little effort; make him see the good in almost any situation. He was just amazed by her, overall. He still couldn't believe how lucky he was.

They were still locked in a rather intense kiss when the door opened again and Jax stuck his head out. He coughed once to get their attention.

"Hey, sorry man. Church. We have to figure some stuff out," he said, sounding truly apologetic.

"Aye, give me a moment. I'll be right there," Filip replied, not even looking at the younger man. He waited until the door closed again before wrapping his arms around Fiona. "I love you so goddamn much, Fi. Thank you, for everything."

She didn't respond, she just held him tightly for another moment, before letting go and standing up to follow him inside. It seemed like a great time to start working that motherly magic.


	36. Chapter 36

**Hey guys! So most of the dialogue in this chapter is from the Season 3 Extended Episode from the Blu Rays. I LOVED this scene and was kind of pissed that it didn't end up in the show. It was pretty awesome. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy it! Read and REVIEW!**

He walked out from the meeting with the guys and immediately scanned the room for Fiona. She was standing over by the door, talking with Gemma and Maureen, but her eyes immediately found his and she smiled. She nodded toward the hall, where he knew Kerryanne was with Juice and Trinity. He knew that they needed to talk with her, let her know what was going on. He needed to make sure that they both knew they were safe. He wasn't looking forward to it, though. Kerryanne, and probably him and Fiona as well, would undoubtedly end up crying, which he hated. He saw her leave and make her way back towards the room, and he followed.

Kerryanne was sitting on the tiny bed with Trinity, while Juice sat nearby in a chair. The bed was littered with candy and cards. The pile of candy in front of Juice was absolutely enormous, while the pile in front of Kerryanne and even Trinity was…not. Filip supposed that it was about time to admit that maybe Kerry hadn't inherited his legendary poker skills after all. He was glad to see that, for once, she just looked like a happy teenage girl, playing games with her friends.

"Boom. Full house. Again," Juice's voice boomed, tossing his cards down on the bed. The girls looked at the cards in disbelief as Juice continued to brag. He was happy that Juice, who rarely won anything, especially poker, was getting a chance to taste victory. He did, however, feel the need to defend the Telford name, since Kerryanne was doing nothing about it herself.

"Hope you girls are letting him win a few hands, at least," he said, smiling at the lot of them.

"Of course we are," Kerryanne replied, looking at Juice.

"Gets all cranky when he loses," Trinity continued to mock him, while Juice was oblivious.

"Everyone hates a champion," the boy said, continuing to gather his candy.

"A cheater," Kerryanne corrected, mostly kidding.

The girls were mostly distracted, attempting to steal all of the best candy for themselves, so Filip took that moment to interrupt.

"Juice, can you give me a minute, please," he said quietly, not really asking.

Juice nodded once, before assuring them, "I'm coming back for everything."

Fiona joined Kerryanne on the bed, and the two of them began a silent conversation with their eyes that girls were so good at. Thankfully, Trinity had taken the not so subtle hint and left the room as well. Juice made to follow her. Filip quickly reached his arm out and stopped the boy. That's all he really was; just a boy. A boy who had risked his own life to protect Fiona and Kerryanne, simply because he had asked him to. Filip owed him.

"Hey," he said, looking Juice right in the eye. "Thanks for looking out for my family."

"With my life brother. Love you, man," Juice replied, completely honest. And he meant it, too. Filip knew, without a doubt, that Juice would have laid his life down if necessary. It meant more to him than he could admit. He pulled Juice into a sincerely, but still very manly, hug.

"Thanks, Juice," he said softly, watching as the boy turned and made his way out of the room, before turning towards the bed. Kerryanne was sitting cross-legged near the head of the bed, looking incredibly anxious. She had no idea what this impromptu family meeting was about, and she seemed very, very nervous. Fiona looked a wee bit apprehensive herself, and eager to hear what had been discussed in the meeting. She wanted to know what news there was of Jimmy, and most of all, what was going to happen to her family now.

Filip made his way over to the bed and took a seat next to Kerryanne. He spoke softly, not wanting to be overheard outside the walls of this room.

"So Clay is getting Abel back, and Jimmy," he paused, making sure to choose his words carefully, not wanting to go into graphic details on his plans to kill the man who had taken so much from them. He had told Fiona, promised her actually, that he was going to kill Jimmy, but he would really prefer that his daughter not look at him as a murderer. "You'll never see him in the six counties again."

It was like all at once, both on them exhaled a huge breath that neither of them knew they had been holding. He knew right then that both of them had been more worried, more afraid than they had let on. He didn't want that. That was why he would end Jimmy, so that his wife and his little girl never had to be afraid again. He looked at Kerry, and found her eyes trained on him, waiting for the next part. Fiona had her head bowed, and he could tell that she was feeling guilty again. He reached over and took her hand.

"Listen," he continued, taking a deep breath. He had to get through this next part. "There's nothing I would love more than to take my girls back to Charming with me, but I know that this is your life and your home here so…"

He allowed himself to trail off. He had gotten his point across, and he knew that is he continued to talk, he would absolutely lose it, and so he stopped talking. He had thought that Kerryanne would be relieved, pleased even, but she looked…sad. He supposed Fiona had been right when she said that it would not be easy for Kerryanne to see him leave. He did not want her to hurt, but it gave him hope that just maybe Fiona was right about the rest too.

"I love you, Da," came her voice, so soft he couldn't have been sure he heard it, if not for the look on her face. Her eyes were as big and brown as his own, and they were brimming with tears. Her lower lip was trembling. He couldn't stare at her anymore without his own tears starting, so her wrapped his arm tightly around her.

"I love you, baby," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

"You know, it won't be years next time," he said, letting her go and removing the beaded wooden crucifix from around his neck. It had belonged to his grandfather and father before him, and it had always, always kept him safe and kept them close to his heart. Now, it would belong to Kerryanne. As her laid it around her neck, he told her. "I'm gonna make sure I get back here and see you every few months. I promise."

He made sure to catch Fiona's eye as well, just so that she knew he was talking to her, too. He realized that he was being ridiculous, that of course she knew he was talking to her as well but he had to be sure. Her face was streaked with tears, and that killed him, because she should never, never be crying because of him or anyone else, really. He opened his mouth to say something, but she beat him to it.

"Oh thank you, thank you Filip," she cried, taking his hand and kissing his empty ring finger. How she could possibly think that he deserved any thanks was beyond him, but he would take it. He pulled her in and kissed her, quickly but earnestly, and then buried his head in her shoulder, finally allowing himself to cry. Fiona was hugging him just as soundly as he was hugging her. His other arm was around Kerryanne, was had found comfort against his chest and was holding his hand tightly. He knew, was at least 100% positive, that these girls loved him and would not let him go years without them. He would do everything he possibly could to deserve their love, from here on out.

"I'm going to miss you, Da. We both will," Kerryanne said after a few minutes, taking her Ma's hand as well. "Will you come back soon? There are still a lot of pictures we haven't looked at, back at home. I haven't heard nearly all of your good stories yet. And clearly, your poker skills are lost on me, so I could use some more practice."

He managed a small smile. She wanted him to come back, and soon. "As soon as I can manage, Sweetheart," he told her.

"And we can come visit you, too, sometimes. Can't we, Ma? When I have holidays from school, in the summer and Christmas?" Kerryanne asked, sounding incredibly hopeful. Fiona squeezed his hand, as if to say _I told you so._

"Of course we can. I would love that," Fiona replied, with a small wink at Filip.

"I can't wait. That stupid cow Meghan Forrister was just bragging about how she is going to go visit her Aunt in Surrey this summer. Wait until I tell her I am going to see my Da in California. That will shut her right up. I hope she faints," Kerryanne said with glee, causing her parents to burst into laughter.

"That's the spirit, Love! Glad to see your heart is in the right place!" he exclaimed, but really not caring why she wanted to come. He was too busy being thrilled that she wanted to come see him at all.

He was seeing a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe he wasn't actually going to lose them. Maybe it really would be okay. He had been completely sincere when he said he would be back as soon as possible. And summertime for Kerryanne was only four of five months away. He knew he could last that long. After ten years apart, four months was nothing, especially if there would be phone calls, as Fiona promised there would be.

He pulled both of his girls back into a much drier hug this time, knowing he would have to leave them soon, but already figuring and counting down the days until he could get back here.


	37. Chapter 37

**Hi guys! So I think that I have said before that I have finished writing this story, and am just in the process of editing. It had been my hope to get the remaining chapters up this week. Well, unfortunately, I am on vacation visiting some family for Thanksgiving and left my flash drive with the remaining chapters roughly 2,000 miles away. So! Unless I can get my friend to email me the remaining documents, this will probably be the last chapter until probably next Saturday. Sorry about that, but please stay tuned! Happy reading, and REVIEW!**

He was packing as many of his belonging as he could into the small duffel he had brought with him. It never ceased to amaze him how his things seemed to multiply and take up more space on the return trip than they did coming here, but he supposed that was just a fact of life. He hadn't gained a ton of clothing while he was here, so why the devil did it not fit now? He had no idea, but he took out most of the t-shirts, figuring he could leave them for Fiona, who seemed to like them a lot. He could always get them when he came back. He still smiled to himself, amazed to think that he would be coming back here.

Kerryanne knocked on the door. He turned to smile at her. She looked happier after their talk. Though she was not, by anybody's judgement, happy that he would soon be leaving, she knew that they were not going to drift apart and lose touch. She knew that her Da loved her and would be back soon, and that was enough to take some of the weight off of her shoulders. She still had many things on her mind, but her family and their love for each other was, for once, not one of those things.

"You packing your stuff?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Aye. Trying to anyway. It never seems to fit, though," he replied, trying his best to zip the bag without actually ripping a seam.

"I hate it when that happens. Anyway, Ma told me you were looking for me," she told him, a little bit apprehensively. She looked scared, almost as if she was waiting for him to laugh at her and tell her that he had changed his mind about coming to visit them, spending time with them, and loving them. It seemed as if she needed to some time to adjust to the idea that fathers always, always would do anything for their daughters. It was okay, they would have that time. He was sure of it.

"Yeah, I was. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. I mean, I have to leave for now, but I will be back. The guys here, they will take care of you, will do anything for you if you need it. And…Jimmy is leaving. For good. I guess I just wanted to make sure that you knew that you don't have anything to be afraid of anymore," he told her, really just wanting to make sure that she would be okay when he was gone.

She gave him a half smile, wondering how on earth he had known that she was still worried.

"He really isn't going to come back here anymore? I mean, is he really gone?" she asked, because even if she was a little ashamed to admit it, she was still worried that this would all come crashing down around them with the sudden reappearance of Jimmy O'Phalen.

He took a deep breath and sighed. He couldn't tell her how he knew that Jimmy would not be a problem for them again, but he tried to assure her in any way that he could.

"Yes, Sweetheart. I really think he is gone for good. He isn't going to hurt you or your Ma ever again, I promise," he said.

She couldn't explain why, but she believed him, she really did. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was her Da, maybe it was the fact that she looked into his eyes and saw no hint of dishonestly, but whatever it was, she believed him. She knew that they would be okay now.

"Listen, Kerryanne. I need to ask you a favor," he spoke up again, getting her attention immediately. His tone of voice was gentle, but she had no doubt whatsoever that he was very, very serious about whatever he was about to say. "I know you are the daughter and your Ma and I, we are the parents. But I think we both know that your Ma has been having a really hard time lately. She tries to be strong for you, and for me too, but I know that is hard on her, and it will be even harder once I leave."

"I know," Kerryanne quickly agreed, nodding her head.

"Good, I am glad you already know. I just…" he paused, not exactly sure what he wanted to say. He knew what he wanted to ask of her, but he didn't know if he had any right to ask it. He knew that he really didn't have a choice, though. "Please just keep an eye on her, Kerry. Make sure that she is okay, that she takes care of herself. She tries too damned hard to take care of you, of everybody else, and she does an amazing job, but I worry about her. I worry about how she is going to be when this all settles down and I am not always around, you know?"

"Yeah, I know, Da. She still thinks all of this is her own fault, doesn't she?" Kerryanne asked. Not for the first time, he wondered at how bright she was, how much she could pick up on things unsaid.

"I think so, yeah. And it's silly. It's not her fault, at least not all of it. I hope she knows that, and I hope you do, too. You and your Ma, hands down, are the best things that have ever happened to me. I know that she will always take care of you, because, like I said, she is the Ma and that's what she does. I just want to make sure that she gets looked after sometimes, too. I know it's not fair to ask you to do it, and I know it's my job…"

"Da, stop. Of course I will look after Ma. We are a family, the three of us. It's our job to look out for each other. Though I worry, and I know she does too, about you. I had a talk with Juice, but apparently you forgot to tell me that he is going to prison," she said, raising a stern eyebrow in his direction, and looking so much like her mother that for a moment, he swore his heart stopped. "Who is going to take care of you?"

"Oh Love, I will be just fine, I promise. Knowing that you and your Ma are okay will be enough for me. And besides, you guys will take fine care of me, whenever I visit, and by calling me every single day when I am not visiting!"

The truth was he had been taking care of himself for a long, long time. But just knowing that she cared, that she wanted to look out for him, made him so happy that he felt it in his bones. She was right, families did look out for each other, and whether she knew it or not, the very fact that she was concerned for his well being, that she was worried about him, took care of him far more than anything had in a long time.

"You need to have Juice show you how to text. And Skype! He needs to set you up with Skype! You know, before he goes to prison," she happily insisted, still making it clear that she wasn't letting go of the whole prison thing. He could probably handle texting, he wasn't_ that_ old, after all, but he had no idea what Skype was. That was okay, though. Juice would figure it out.

She sat down on the bed and grabbed the stack of t-shirts he was leaving behind.

"These for Ma?" she said, clearly knowing her mother's tastes almost as well as he himself did.

"Aye, couldn't fit them in my bag. Figured that she could make use of them," he smiled at her.

"I'm taking one. It's not fair that she gets to keep them all," she said, pulling out a grey one from amongst the heaps of black and dark blue.

"That's fine, I am sure she won't mind. Excellent choice, by the way," he quipped, sitting next to her. "However, I do have something else for you."

He reached to the side of the bed and pulled out a small revolver, not that different from the one she had pointed at his head just a night or two ago. This one was cleaner, much easier to use, though, and would have a better fit in her hand. It was old, in fact it had belonged to his oldest sister, but it worked just fine. He handed it to her, and she took it, staring at the small gun, not quite believing what she was seeing.

"Listen, Kerryanne. I have debated, over and over again, whether or not to give this to you. Please believe me when I say that it is my most sincere hope that you never need to test your mettle with it. I finally decided that I would much rather you have it and not need it, then need it and not have it. It's not a toy, and it's not for show. It is a real gun that will actually kill somebody," he stopped, looking at her and noticing that her eyes were getting big. Good. He needed her to know how serious he was. "Kerryanne, if you ever need to use this, if you are ever pointing it at somebody, and it is either their life or your life, I hope you know that your life should always come first and don't think twice, okay?"

"Okay, Da," she said, closing her hand around the grip. "Will you teach me how to shoot it, before you go?"

"Aye, come on. I will give you the basics, anyway. Your Ma is actually a very good shot, she told me that she would practice with you, too," he said tossing his bag on the floor. One of the guys would be by to get it soon.

"So Ma knows that I have this?" she asked, astounded that her mother had agreed to this.

"Yeah, she does. Both of us would rather have you safe, Love," he explained to her, taking her hand and leading her out of the room.

They went down to the empty outside lot, where he taught her to release, load and unload, and make sure the safety was off. He made sure that she could do all of the loading and unloading herself, before he showed her how to shoot it, aiming at the thick concrete wall that would just absorb the bullets. It took her some time to adjust to the kick of the gun, but before too long, she was hitting her target. She turned and gave him a smile that could light up cities, her pride obvious. From the steps a good distance away, they heard a round of cheers and turned to find Fiona, Maureen, Trinity, Gemma, Juice, and a few of the other guys watching with interest.

She was instantly mortified, but allowed her Da a hug. He kissed her on the forehead, pleased to know that she would be safe while he was away, and thanking God that she had a good eye and a steady hand.


	38. Chapter 38

**Hello all! Sorry for the long delay in this chapter. I was on vacation for a week and forgot my flash drive with this chapter on it! We are winding down to the end of the story! I should have the remainder done and posted by the end of the week. No need to worry though. Soon there will be a sequel. Or a prequel. LOL. I haven;t decided which to write and post fist. Anyway, hope that you enjoy this chapter! Read and REVIEW!**

This moment had been a long time coming. All three of them knew, from the second he got to Ireland, that he would eventually have to leave. The knowledge that it was going to happen did not do anything to make the actual act any easier. The guys were slowly wandering down from Maureen's, bringing the last of their bags and any other random, left over stuff. Filip was standing at the bottom of the stairs, just out of the way, holding Fiona and Kerryanne close to him.

They weren't talking at all. There had already been more than enough words exchanged on the subject, so right now, the family was just content to hold onto each other tightly and enjoy the last few minutes they had together. None of them were crying, though all three of them knew that the tears would come, later when they were alone again. No one wanted to spoil these final minutes with unclear eyes and salty tears.

Kerryanne was leaning against her father's shoulder, with both of her arms around his waist. She was going to miss him, so much. She loved the way he laughed, the way he made her and her Ma laugh. She loved that he took care of them both, and made these hard, dangerous times so much easier. She loved that her Ma seemed happier, more whole when he was around; that she didn't have to hide bruises and cry herself to sleep every night. She loved the food he cooked for them, better than any other home cooked food she had ever experienced. She loved the stories he told her; loved how he always knew the exact right thing to say, even though he didn't know it. When it came down to it, she just plain loved him, so much more than she had ever thought she would.

She was also feeling very, very conflicted. Kerryanne knew that, if it wasn't for her, her Ma would be loading her own bags and heading to Charming with her Da and the rest of these leather clad men. It wasn't that she didn't want to be with her Da, to be a family again, for real. It was just that Ireland was the only thing she had ever really known. She had never even traveled anywhere else. The idea of leaving here utterly terrified her. It just seemed like every single thing in her life was changing right now. Yes, it was changing for the better, but still. She felt like she needed to cling tightly to every last thing she could. It didn't mean that it was easy to look at her Ma and look at her Da and know that she was responsible for the sadness she saw in their eyes. She just hoped that she wouldn't always be so afraid of the unknown. She was more than excited to go visit her Da this coming summer. Maybe that would be a much needed first step.

Fiona had her arms wrapped around her husband's shoulders, her forehead pressed into his neck. She enjoyed the arm around her, holding her, keeping her grounded. She would miss this feeling; this sense of knowing that the two most important people in her world were close to her. She took a deep breath and was reminded of yet another thing she would miss: his smell. It was something that was uniquely his. He smelled of whiskey, leather and his preferred brand of cigarettes, with just a hint of cinnamon and sunshine. She was secretly addicted to it, but even if she could bottle it and keep it around always, she knew that she never would, because that smell told her that he was near.

From where she stood, holding him tightly, she could hear his heartbeat, which was one of her favorite sounds in the world. For years and years, she took pleasure in falling asleep to the steady thump of his heart. Having that back, for the past week, she wasn't sure how well she would be sleeping without it. She was going to miss him more than anything when he left. She would miss the way he held her, the way he kissed her, the sounds he made, and caused her to make, when he was inside of her. He was silly for thinking that she ever would, ever could, replace him.

Part of her wanted to cry, wanted to yell and scream and throw a bit of a hissy fit, stomping feet and all. She wouldn't do that, though. This was hard enough on him as it was. She figured the least she could do was save her tears for later. Her heart broke when she thought of the fact that in just a few minutes, he would be leaving them, but it mended just slightly when she thought of him visiting, hopefully soon. She could handle this, knowing that this time, he would not be gone for long. She would wait forever for him, if she had to, but it actually made her smile to know that he wouldn't make her.

The only thing on Filip's mind was that he had to kill Jimmy O'Phalen as quickly as humanly possible, and then get back here as soon as he could after doing that. There was a teeny, tiny part of him that felt like as asshole for thinking it. For the most part, his brothers would be in lockup for more than a year. He should be eager to step up and help run the club, but instead, he was just eager to be right here. Of course, he would do his part for the guys, for the club, whatever they needed him do to, but he knew that 100% of the rest of his time would be spent with his girls.

He saw Jax take the phone, and knew right away that he was upset about something. He did not make any move to figure out what it was though. Jax hung up the phone and turned to the crowd and explained that Tara had apparently been kidnapped by Hector Salazar. It looked like their moment of departure had finally come. Jax shot him an apologetic look, before he and the rest of the guys headed to their bikes, giving him some privacy.

He wrapped both Fiona and Kerryanne in one last, tight hug. His eyes found Fiona's first. There weren't any words he could say to make this better, so he just kissed her quickly, and turned to look at Kerryanne. She tried her best to smile for him, but ended up just throwing her arms around him. She pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Love you, Da. I'll see you real soon," she told him, before letting him go.

He gave them a smile, though everybody there knew that is was not genuine, and turned to walk towards the rest of the guys. Kerryanne and Fiona stood holding on to each other and watched him walk away. Maureen came and put an arm around the other side of Fiona, Trinity not far behind her.

"That was a really lame kiss, Fi. I figured you would want to give him something to keep him warm, something to remember you by," Maureen teased, a light smile on her face.

Fiona looked at her, unsure whether to be offended or entertained. She opened her mouth to retort, but was immediately cut off by Kerryanne.

"Seriously, Ma. We do want to encourage him to come back," Kerryanne said, a teasing smile on her face.

Over the past week or so, she and Filip had been very careful to not be overly affectionate in front of Kerryanne. While they had years and years of history behind them, none of it was history that Kerryanne had been familiar with. It was easy for them to pick up right where they left off, but they had both been cautious, because they knew that it might not be so easy for Kerryanne. It seems as if it was all for nothing. She rolled her wide, surprised eyes at the women, and turned to look at his retreating back.

"Filip!" she yelled out, thankful that she had caught him before he was actually on his bike, speeding away.

He turned immediately, almost as if he had been waiting for her to call his name. She crossed the 15 or so feet that were separating them in only a few seconds. She wrapped him in her arms and her lips found his. Fiona knew that she had only been teasing, but maybe Maureen had been right. Fiona knew he would be back soon, but there was no date set in stone, no magic number that she could count down in her head. She had no idea when she would be able to kiss him like this again. She might as well make this count.

The kiss was almost frantic. To everybody else, it probably looked like each of them was trying to consume the other. Lips were bruising, tongues were battling, hands were possessing. Fiona was pouring every last bit of love and affection she had into this kiss, and he was gladly accepting it as it came. Let Mo joke all she wanted to, there was absolutely no shortage of heat in this kiss, and Fiona was absolutely confident that he would remember this until the day he died.

The men folk around them started cat calling and slow clapping, and even Jax gave a half hearted smile and an appreciative whistle. Filip told them all where to go with a single finger. The way he figured he had earned this, earned a couple of minutes to say goodbye to his wife, and whoever had a problem with it be damned.

No sooner had he thought that, than he remember that Jax's lady, the doctor, Tara, was being held captive by a lunatic. He needed to go. The guilt overcame him, and he started to bring their goodbye to an end. She seemed to be on the same wavelength as him. She let her lips linger against his for another moment, and then pulled back.

"Love you, Filip. Be careful, and come home soon," she told him quietly, leaning her forehead against his.

All he could do was nod his head, before forcing himself to turn and walk away again, this time, with the taste of her still on his lips.


	39. Chapter 39

**Hello all! Here is the next chapter. Honestly, I wrote this because I wanted a little Juice/Chibs interaction. They have (had?) such an awesome relationship and I really miss seeing it on screen. Also, I love seeing non-technical people interact with technology, LOL! Anyway, enjoy! Please remember to REVIEW!**

Despite having not slept since returning from Ireland, Filip was wide awake. The club house was full, and a party was in full swing. Not a traditional SAMCRO party. First of all, they were eating breakfast. Second, the women were (mostly) fully clothed. Finally, there was not a Croweater in sight. Also, there were children present. This was truly a family affair, designed to celebrate Abel being home, Tara and unborn baby being safely returned, and them all being together and whole. Needless to say, it was doing nothing to ease the ache he felt for his girls.

He missed them, just as much as he thought he would. But at the same time, it was so much better than it had been before. He had talked to them twice already. It seemed like Kerryanne was taking his insistence that she call him every day very, very seriously. He was glad. It was wonderful and strange to know that anytime he wanted, he could pick up the phone and call them, see how they were doing. He did not like being away from them, but the knowledge that they could keep in touch, he could call them and tell them they he loved them any time, it was infinitely better than it had been. But still, sitting here, surrounded by Jax and his family, Opie and his soon to be wife, the guys and their girls, it made him wish more than anything that his girls were here with him.

He was sitting at the table, beer in hand despite the early hour, just observing the people around him. He was amazed and proud of the guys for seeming so calm and collected. Nobody was panicking and anxious about what they would do later that day, which was good. He was glad for his brothers who were taking this chance to spend time with their families. Jax had been sticking close to Tara and Abel. Opie was with Piney and Lyla, laughing about one thing or another. Clay and Gemma were over by the bar with Tig and Bobby, all listening to Gemma spout off some story. He wondered if he could slip out without anyone noticing.

It wasn't that he begrudged his brothers any happiness; on the contrary, he was thrilled that they were all having a great time. He had spent the morning in good spirits, eating and drinking and just being a SAMCRO member. But the overall family atmosphere for the morning was distracting him, making him want for something that he couldn't have this minute, and he could not have any distractions right now, not with what he was going to do today. He knew that if Fiona was here, she could calm him in an instant, but she wasn't here.

As he was standing up to make his exit, Juice emerged from the back, near the dorms and scanned the crowd. The boy looked antsy and excited, and Filip swore that if Juice announced that he was getting married or reproducing, he would lose it. Juice found him in the SAMCRO crowd and made his way over to the table where Filip sat.

"Hey, Chibs man, I wanna show you something, come on," he said, bouncing on the soles of his feet.

"Yeah, Juicey, not now. I am heading out," Filip blew him off, standing from the table and downing the last of his beer.

"No, man, come on. It's important. It will just take a minute," Juice pleaded. It was really not like the kid to outright beg so soon.

"Why are you trying so hard to lure me back to the dorms? Are you trying to take advantage of me, Juicey Boy?" Filip retorted. By now, he was honestly curious as to what he wanted, but he couldn't just give in so easily.

"Yeah, you aren't that lucky, Chibs, but we can leave the door open if it will make you feel safer. Come on," he said, walking off, assuming that he was following.

Filip sighed deeply, before dropping his beer bottle back on the table and following Juice. Whatever the kid wanted seemed pretty important, and if it would really only take a minute, maybe he didn't mind so much. He did owe the boy quite a bit, and if going to the dorms and helping him pick out a shirt to wear to prison, or whatever it was he wanted, would help erase some of that debt, than he would do it without complaining…much.

He followed Juice into the dorm and found him sitting in a rolling desk chair with his laptop open. Filip leaned against the door frame, wondering what on earth he could possibly want. If it involved any sort of strange online porn fetish again, Filip would probably hit the lad and be gone.

"What?" Filip asked, not really sure he wanted the answer.

Juice just pointed at the desk in the corner. "Sit down," he demanded.

Filip figured that since he had come this far, he might as well do like he was asked, but he was already beginning to regret making this trip.

"You guys ready?" Juice asked, and Filip had no idea what the kid was talking about, nor who he was talking to, and started to think that maybe Juice had lost his mind. He sat there confused until Juice stood up and walked across the room, setting the laptop in front of him.

His Kerryanne was dominating the computer screen, with Fiona right next to her, both smiling broadly at him and waving. He stared in wonder, until he heard Kerryanne's voice. "Hi Da!"

"Kerry? Fi? What are you…how the Hell…?" was all he could manage, except a huge smile.

"Yeah, dude. This is Skype. It's a free, live, videochat and conference service," Juice said, looking very pleased with himself. Filip just looked at him blankly. Juice rolled his eyes and huffed, like a small child. "Kind of like a phone call, but you can see each other and whatnot."

"Go away, Juice," was all Filip could say, his eyes returning to the screen and staying there.

"Yeah, bro, you're welcome. No need to thank me at all," Juice muttered before making his way out of the room, closing the door behind him.

For the next hour or so, Filip just sat and stared at a tiny computer screen, talking to his girls. He listened to Kerryanne complain about having to go back to school, and Fiona complain about Kerryanne's general attitude about school. He told them all about Tara being safe and Abel being completely fine and the impending Teller child and Opie's engagement. Both girls told him how much they missed him, and Fiona made a couple of blatant sexual comments, which made Kerryanne groan and him sit up a little bit straighter. By the time they had finished talking and Kerryanne had given him detailed instructions on how to turn off Skype and shut down the computer, it was nearly time to be going.

He walked out of the dorm towards the bar, thankful that he got a chance to be reminded of why he was doing this. Everybody was in pretty much the same position they had been when he walked out, except Juice had taken up his seat at the table. Jax and Opie were standing near the bar, both of them staring at him. Jax caught his eye, and Filip knew, without words being spoken, that they would be leaving soon. Filip headed towards the door, but before he did, he walked over to the table Juice was sitting at, and laid a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Thanks," was all he said, and it was really all he needed to say.

"Yeah man, no problem. Keep the laptop, I am not gonna need it in Stockton. I left pretty explicit directions on how to use it, but if you get confused, Kerryanne should be able to talk you through it. You have wi-fi here and at home, so that's about it. Just try not to break it," was all Juice said. Filip just laughed for a moment before turning serious once again. He knew that once things got rolling, he wouldn't have a whole lot of time for goodbyes.

"Really though, Juicey. I don't know how to thank you for all that you've done. Hope you know that I appreciate it. If there is ever anything I can do, you'll let me know?" Chibs asked, knowing that his words weren't adequate.

"Will you come visit? Not all the time or anything. But I don't really have anybody else around who will come visit," Juice blurted, looking incredibly embarrassed. He didn't need to. Though he had never spent an extended amount of time in prison himself, Filip could understand how bleak it would be not having any visitors at all.

"Yeah, Kid. As soon as you are allowed visitors in a few weeks, I will come see you. And when Kerryanne comes in a few months, I doubt she will agree to stay home. You will have plenty of visitors," Filip replied, giving Juice's should a squeeze. He nodded one last, non-verbal goodbye to the kid, before heading for the door.

He had some work to do.


	40. Chapter 40

**Hi guys! So this was a difficult chapter to write. I had a bit of a hard time with it. In the end, I drew more on what I would be thinking and what I would need to do. Anyway, I hope that it turned out okay. Enjoy and remember to please** **REVIEW!**

Filip had never actually ridden on a school bus before. He sincerely hoped that they weren't always so bumpy and silent. Usually, he supposed, they were full of school children and not grown men with automatic weapons. He felt sincerely bad for American children who rode on these things to school every damned day. They were hot and uncomfortable, and this particular one had a terrible smell to it. However, it was big and nobody would look too hard at it. It would provide them all the cover that they needed.

He was surprised at how absolutely relaxed he was. He was not normally a fan of killing people; he never had been. But this was something that had to be done. He was not nervous or fearful; rather he had this overall feeling of peace. He knew that eventually the sense of calm would leave him. It made Filip wonder how long it would hold up. Also, it made him wonder what he would do when the reality of what was happening actually hit him.

Though he himself was very relaxed, the atmosphere on the bus was tense. He and Opie were concentrating on what they needed to do, going over it again and again. Opie was looking out the window, and he himself was enjoying a sandwich and some whiskey. Kozik didn't know him and Opie very well, so he was understandably quiet. Piney was singing to himself and driving, somewhat erratically, toward their destination.

Filip was making a mental list of the reasons why he was doing this; the reasons why Jimmy had to die. First and foremost was the fact that Jimmy had hurt his Fiona and threatened their little girl. That fact was outright unforgivable. Filip was ashamed that he had allowed Jimmy to live this long, after saying and doing such thing. Second to that was the fact that Filip had missed out on ten years with his wife, ten years of his daughter growing up, because of Jimmy. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he and Fiona would have eventually worked out their shit and found their way back to being a family again, had Jimmy not decided that he wanted Fiona himself and pushed him out.

The fact that Jimmy had permanently disfigured him and very nearly killed him before leaving him for dead on the side of the road came in a distant third when he was making a list of reasons for Jimmy's death. Filip's pride was no small thing, and Jimmy had utterly destroyed it. That particular experience had been a hard, difficult lesson for Filip, but it had taught him the importance of patience and smarts. Every part of him had wanted to go kill Jimmy and take back his rightful place, but that would have ended bloody for everyone involved. He had waited patiently, biding his time, but he had always known that this moment would happen; always known that he would take Jimmy out of this world.

Filip heard the prepay ring, and knew that Kozik was talking to Unser. It seemed like the time was finally upon them. Just ahead, they could see the Police cruiser and a dark sedan parked off of the road.

"This is it, boys!" Piney yelled, before pulling the bus to a stop next to both cars, blocking them from view.

Making a spur of the moment decision Filip laid down his AK-47. He would go with the knives instead; cut Jimmy O'Phalen out of this world. It would probably be more poetic that way. He raised his hood and stood to walk out into the bright, sunny day.

Filip knew that Opie and the two other guys were dealing with that ATF bitch, but he honestly could not care less. He was only here for one reason. Walking up behind the black sedan, he could see Jimmy craning his neck, trying to figure out what was going on. The bastard would know soon enough. Filip walked up to the back window and looked inside. He saw Jimmy turn and look up to him, saw the recognition in his eyes, and saw him realize what was about to happen to him.

Filip gave him a second to allow it to sink in, before opening the door and pulling Jimmy out of the car. He was surprised that Jimmy didn't struggle, didn't even fight him at all. He wasn't sure if Jimmy had accepted what was about to happen to him, or if he had another trick up his sleeve. Honestly, it didn't matter either way, to Filip. Jimmy would be dead within the next two minutes or so, so he could be thinking whatever he wanted to be thinking.

He pushed Jimmy hard, up against the side of the bus. He took a minute to look the man over. Jimmy didn't look good. Filip supposed that the last week or so on the run had not been easy on the man. Jimmy was used to money, had always enjoyed the finer things in life. A few days without those luxuries and he was looking worse for the wear. Filip was glad. Jimmy didn't deserve easy, he deserved bloody. Jimmy had experienced easy for far, far too long. It had made him stupid, made him forget how simple it was to lose everything. Filip had absolutely no problem reminded him, permanently.

Filip looked Jimmy in the eyes. On the outside, the bastard was playing things calm and collected. If you looked long enough, looked hard enough to see past that, the fear was there. Filip could see the wheels turning in Jimmy's head, could see him trying to figure a way out of this. He wouldn't be able to. The resignation finally set in on Jimmy's face, and Filip knew that the picture was finally clear.

Jimmy was looking at Filip, appraising him. For just a moment, Filip took the time to wonder what exactly Jimmy saw when looking at him. He knew for sure that Jimmy didn't see the same man he had seen ten years ago. The time had made Filip stronger, smart, and less likely to break. The past few months had made him a better overall man, had given him something to fight for, a reason to be standing here now. He didn't know if Jimmy could see all of that on his face, but knowing that it was there was enough for Filip.

"Take care of our girls Filip, yeah?" Jimmy asked, sounding every bit as pathetic as he looked. Filip supposed, in some very sick, twisted way, that Jimmy had loved Fiona and even Kerryanne. The kind of love that Jimmy was able to deal out was not the kind that any woman deserved, much less his wife and daughter. It was the kind of love that would possess, consume, and kill.

"Oh yeah," was all Filip replied.

Those were all of the words that were said. Everything else that was exchanged between the two men was done non-verbally. Both of them knew the score here and there was no need for words to get in the way. Filip reached down and pulled out his knives, knives that he had carried with him for a very, very long time. Finally, they would taste blood today.

All at once, Filip summoned every ounce of hatred he possessed. He recalled every single time he had felt wronged by this man, every tiny bit of pain, both physical and otherwise, he had felt as a result of Jimmy actions. He drew upon his girls and the love he had for them, his desire to see them happy. He remembered, with vivid detail, the things that this man in front of him had threatened to do to Kerryanne and pictured the bruises he had seen on Fiona's neck, the fear he had seen in her eyes every time Jimmy was even mentioned. He brought up the few months after he had come to Charming, the man he had been, the terrible pain he had been in, and the longing he had had to just die.

He allowed all of these things to wash over him, take ahold inside of him, before he raised his knives and slashed Jimmy's face open. Filip knew the pain that Jimmy was feeling now, and also knew that it was nothing. It was nothing at all when compared with the pain that he would be feeling, if he had hours, days, weeks, months to sit around with his face a festering wound for the entire world to see. Jimmy could take solace in the knowledge that he wouldn't be living long enough to feel any of that.

Looking Jimmy O'Phalen in the eye for one last time, Filip took each knife and gave it a new home in the flesh right above Jimmy's collarbone. The gasp of pain he heard did absolutely nothing to stop him, instead, he maintained the eye contact and slowly twisted each knife. Filip watched, he saw the pain register on Jimmy's face, and knew that no matter how much it hurt, it could never be enough to make up for everything he had done. Filip never stopped watching the eyes of his enemy, not until he saw, at long last, the life leave them. With that, he pulled the knives back and allowed the dead body of Jimmy O'Phalen to fall to the ground.

_It was done._

That was all he could think, the only logical thing he could pull out of the tangled thoughts running through his brain. Everything was suddenly happening very quickly. He knew that Opie was getting his retribution right now, but Filip couldn't focus on that, couldn't focus on anything other than watching the blood seep out of Jimmy and pool on the ground around him. If somebody had asked him, at that very moment, how he felt, he would have no answer.

The next thing he knew, Stahl was dead. He felt Piney lay a hand on his shoulder. This spurred him into action. He took a handkerchief, a very specific one that he had brought with him just for this very purpose, from his pocket and soaked up some of the blood on the ground. Using it to quickly draw on the window in front of him, he quickly pocketed it, and then made to turn and walk away.

His work here was finally done. As he sat down on the bus, he tried to calm the frantic pace of his mind, tried to stop the thoughts and feelings that were warring inside of his head. He knew before he even started that it was no use. Instead, he sat in the seat, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes, focusing on the one, definite thing he could pull out of all this.

_It was done._


	41. Chapter 41

**Hi guys! Nothing major to report. Read, enjoy, review. Thanks!**

It was close to midnight by the time things finally settled down. The lawyer had just left. She had seen the guys settled in federal lockup. They would be transferred to Stockton within the next week, though they would not say exactly when, in order to avoid escape attempts. They would not be allowed visitors for more than a month, which was bullshit when you came right down to it, but there was nothing that could be done. Filip knew that they had all been very lucky, and truth be told, everything could have turned out much, much worse.

He was sitting outside the club house, smoking and doing not much else. He should go home, take a shower, get some sleep. He should call his girls. He should get completely, black out drunk. There were a lot of things that he should be doing, but instead, he was just sitting there. He couldn't quite bring himself to do any deep thinking, he was holding off on that as long as possible. Something major had happened today, he had done something huge; he knew that. He just was not ready yet to face that and examine what it meant.

The door near him opened, and Opie and Piney trudged out of the club house, both looking exhausted, and in Piney's case, drunk. He supposed that they would both be heading home, which is exactly what Filip would be doing if he was smart. Opie looked as if he was not having the same issues that Filip was having. Instead, he looked as if the fact that he had blown the crown off of an ATF agent a few hours ago was really not affecting him at all. Filip considered for a moment asking him how he was doing it, pulling of the 'I don't give a shit' attitude, but he knew that he never would. They all dealt with shit in their own ways, and Filip knew that he would be fine.

Opie drew him out of his thoughts with a punch to the shoulder.

"Hey, come on man. Let's go. Need you to help me do something," Opie said, surprising Filip. What the bejesus could Opie need to do at midnight after the day they had just had?

"Yeah, okay," Filip replied, standing up from the cold ground and heading to the bikes, before Opie surprised him yet again by stopping at the van. "We're taking four wheels?"

"Yeah, just get in," Opie replied with a smirk.

Filip climbed up in the passenger seat and lit a cigarette, anxious to get the car started, and hopefully the heat going. He had been cold since stepping foot back in Charming. He knew the cold was at least partially psychological. It had been much, much colder in Ireland, but he had more to keep him warm there. Opie seemed to be thinking along the same lines. He turned the heater on and pulled out of the lot. Filip had no idea where they were headed.

"You plan on telling me where we are going, brother?" Filip casually asked.

"No. You'll figure it out soon enough," he replied, with the smirk still on his face. He looked as if he was in on a private joke that Filip didn't understand.

Filip sighed and stared out the window, more than a little bit annoyed. It was pitch black outside, and he couldn't see anything except inky black rolling by, mile after mile. He hoped that whatever they were going to do would take a long, long time. He was in no rush to be alone and think. He just wished that Opie was not being so weird and cryptic. It was really no matter though.

"You okay, brother?" Opie asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Filip glanced over at him and wondered exactly how much of the truth he could give to him.

"I don't know. Today was important. I guess I just thought I would feel…different," he finally got out.

"Yeah, I get that. You'll be fine, though. Everything will blow over soon," Opie tried to assure him. Filip really appreciated it, and knew that Opie was right, but he couldn't see it yet.

Filip just nodded, and let out a deep breath.

"You aren't feeling guilty are you? Bad for killing Jimmy?" Opie questioned him.

"No, not really anyway. I don't generally like to kill people, but Jimmy is a different story, he deserved to die, so I don't think I feel guilty," he attempted to explain.

"That's right, he did deserve to die. So did Stahl. You did what had to be done, we both did. I thought you would be more, I don't know, victorious?" Opie said.

"Yeah, so did I. I guess it's just a huge part of my life done now, and all of the history that was there. Now, it's gone, and I don't really know where to go from here, I guess," Filip admitted, not pleased by how much he sounded like a huge pussy.

"No worries, brother. I know exactly where you go from here," Opie said, now full out smirking.

They were pulling in to the airfield. Filip looked around, more than a little confused.

"What the hell are we doing here?" he asked. Up ahead, they could see one of Oswald's plane on the jet way.

"Sending you straight back to Ireland," Opie explained, putting the van in park and shutting it off.

"What the fuck?" Filip asked, still not quite processing what was happening.

"Listen man, Jax made me promise that I would send you back to Ireland. Go see your wife and kid for awhile. Tell Fiona about Jimmy. She deserves to hear it straight from you and not the Irish grapevine. If anybody in the world can help you figure shit out, it's her. Besides, you can tell the IRA yourself, hand them proof that their task was carried out," Opie said.

"I can't, Op. The rest of our guys are in jail. I need to be here, need to help you handle things," Filip stammered.

"What things? Everything is secured. Pop and I have it locked down. Plus Koz is sticking around and the Prospects are good. There is no trouble at all on the horizon. Just go. One of the SAMBEL guys will pick you up when you land, get you a bike," Opie insisted, opening the back and pulling out some bags, handing them to Filip. His mind was reeling. He had the opportunity to go be with his girls, with no club business to worry about, nothing at all to distract him. And Opie was right. Maybe if he could talk to Fiona, it would help him sort out this bullshit he was feeling.

"Does Fiona know I'm coming? Did you tell them?" he asked.

"Nah. Figured it would be much more fun for you to surprise her. Women love surprises," Opie joked, take the leather off of Filip's back. "I will hang on to this."

"I don't know what to say," Filip admitted.

"Don't say anything. Just get on the damned plane. Call every so often. Have a lot of sex. Just go," Opie said.

Filip did not need any more convincing. He hugged Opie, picked up his bags, and boarded the plane. He was going to see his girls.


	42. Chapter 42

**Hi guys! So here is the penultimate chapter! Sorry, I just really like that word, LOL! Hope you all enjoy it and read and REVIEW!**

This time, Filip actually slept on the plane. He was just so damned exhausted, there really wasn't a choice. He woke up not remembering what he dreamed, and he was glad. His dreams would either have been really, really good or really, really bad, and he was glad he didn't remember which. The plane was, once again, freezing cold. One of the prospects had clearly packed the bag for him, and he was happy to find a jacket at the very top. He was practically shaking with a fine mixture of nerves and excitement, probably even more so than before, and couldn't wait for the stupid plane to land.

True to his word, Opie had called some of the SAMBEL guys and they met him when he landed. He appreciated it, he truly did. It was early in Belfast and he was sure each and every one of these Irish boys had someplace else they would rather be, something else they would rather be doing. They were good boys, and if they had any issue with picking him up before the sun, they did not let it show. He was grateful.

They loaded his bags into the van, and offered to follow him back to Fiona's house, so that he could have his bags. He took his backpack and politely declined, telling them that he would come by later to get his bags. He just wanted to be alone for now. They told him that Fiona was living in her father's old house on the northern side of Belfast. They asked him if he needed directions, which made him laugh. He was more than familiar with the house they were talking about, and would have absolutely no problem finding it.

Filip took out his phone and sent a quick text to Opie, before pondering for a minute whether he should call Fiona and warn her that he was on his way. He decided against it, figuring that he had come this far, so why tell her now? She would either be happy to see him or not. He didn't think that thirty minutes warning would make much of a difference. He knew that he was being stupid. She had told him, more than enough times, that she loved him, and of course she would be happy to see him. That was, however, before he had outright murdered somebody that, even for a brief period of time, she had loved.

He climbed on his bike and made his way towards Fiona and Kerryanne's house. As he drove, the sun was coming up, which helped to warm him slightly. Mind you, the fact that it was 40 degrees and he was riding 70 miles per hour on a motorcycle meant that he would not be toasty warm anytime soon, but still, the sun was a nice touch. He was still trying to keep himself stuck in his "not thinking about anything at all" mode, but it wasn't working. Thoughts kept slipping through.

What it really came down to was this: would people, more specifically, his girls, look at him differently now? Would they love him less? Would they resent him because his love for them had caused him to murder some body? On the other side, he had held onto his hatred, his outright loathing, of Jimmy for so long. Now that the man was dead, he thought it would go away. It wasn't gone, but it had morphed into an undeniable anger, and he knew that he needed to find an outlet for it before he literally exploded.

Regardless of the questions and the anger, he was excited to see his girls. He parked his bike at a gas station down the block, not wanting to attract any attention at Fiona's house. He took a minute to pick up some smokes and a cup of coffee, before making his way, on foot, towards the house. He stopped a ways away, under a tree that he had stood under many, many time before. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, leaning back against the trunk of the tree, just waiting.

He wanted to go to them, see them both, but he knew that he wouldn't. It was important to him that he talk to Fiona, alone, one on one, with no chance of them being overheard. He needed to confess, needed to tell her what he had done. He had no way of knowing how she would react to the news, no way of knowing how she would take it or how she would feel. He didn't want Kerryanne to be there, just in case it went badly.

It was only a few minutes later that he saw the front door open. Kerryanne exited, kissing her Ma on the cheek, while Fiona stood in the doorway. His daughter made her way down the steps and turned away from him, heading towards what he assumed was her bus stop, cell phone in hand. He watched her wait at the corner for her bus, Fiona's eyes on her the whole time. He guessed it would probably be awhile before she would feel comfortable with their daughter being out of her sight. He could relate. A minute later, he felt his cell buzz in his pocket. Taking it out, he saw a text from Kerry.

_"Heading to school. Just wanted to tell you I love you! Sorry if I woke you up!"_

He smiled and texted her back, just as the bus pulled up. She was a ways away, but he could see her smile from his tree. He waited just a few more minutes before putting out his smoke and flicking it away. Finishing his coffee in one gulp, he crushed the cup and stuck it in in the neighbor's garbage on the side of the road, before making his way up to the door. He raised his arm to knock on the door and…just stood there. Filip was nervous. He knew took a deep breath and tried again, actually completing the task this time.

It only took a couple of second before Filip heard footsteps on the other side of the door.

"What on Earth are you doing back here Kerryanne? I swear to God, if you missed the bus on purpose-" Fiona yelled, yanking the door open. When she saw him waiting on the other side of the door, her words cut off. "Filip?"

He smiled at her, because seeing her eyes widen, seeing the surprise on her face, seeing the happiness in her eyes, there was really no way that he could not smile.

"Surprise?" was his response. He didn't have time to say anything else before she threw her arms around his neck so hard that he came very close to falling down the stairs. It was only a few seconds later that her lips found his, and they began a kiss to rival their last one. For those few minutes, Jimmy O'Phalen and his death were the last things on Filip's mind.


	43. Chapter 43

**SO! The end is here! This is the last chapter for Healing, and I have to say that it has been such an honor to write this story and have all of you read it and comment on it and enjoy it. A special and HUGE thank you to the lovely Ambrosia Rush, who is phenomenal and had given me more encouragement that I probably deserve. So onto the (hopefully) good news! There will be a sequel! I am hoping to post the first chapter this week, so please be on the lookout. I just love this couple and this family, and want to spend more time writing about them. I haven't quite nailed down the name yet, but I am pretty sure that it is going to be called "Comfortable". So thank you all again, SO much for reading and sticking with me! Also, it isn't too late to REVIEW and let me know what you guys think! Thanks again, and enjoy! Just a warning, I always like to go out with a bang...literally. So yeah, some sexual content here, kids! :-) **

They didn't break the kiss until several minutes later. By that time, there were more than one pair of eyes peeping out of neighboring windows, and an old man who had been walking his dog had stopped to stare. She took a minute to just look at him, standing on her door step looking thoroughly kissed and just a little bit light headed. It only took that one look for her to know that something was off. Whatever it was, she absolutely did not care at all. It didn't matter why he had shown up, barely a week after leaving. All that mattered was that he was here.

Fiona pulled him inside as quickly as she could, all without ever letting go of him fully. It seemed to Filip like she was afraid he would disappear if she let go of him. He wished he could open his mouth and explain to her that he had no plans to go anywhere, but all he could do was look at her. She was full on smiling at him, and still looking sort of amazed that he was here.

"You just missed Kerryanne," was all she could think to say.

"Yeah, I know. I saw her leave for school. I waited for her to be gone. Needed to see you first," he explained, doing absolutely nothing to make clear why he was really here. They were standing in the entrance hall, hands clasped together, making absolutely no efforts to go anywhere else. This was a bit more serious than she had thought. If he passed up the chance to see Kerryanne, just because he needed to speak with her alone, it was probably not good.

"Okay. You want some tea?" she asked him, clearly wishing that he would get to telling her what was wrong sooner, rather than later.

"No. I don't want tea," he said, looking her straight in the eye.

"Then tell me. Whatever it is, just say it," she demanded. She tried not to show it, but Fiona was close to tears. She was so goddamned happy that he was here, but she could not, for the life of her, think of why he would come back so soon, other than to tell her he had changed his mind, tell her he had thought things over and that he was better just staying in Charming and she was better staying in Ireland. They had just made out on the front door step, and she was absolutely terrified of that being the last time she ever got to kiss him.

He looked at her, saw her eyes locked on his, and knew that now was the time to tell her. Part of him wished that he could lie to her, tell her that nothing was wrong, just kiss her again and enjoy spending a day, a week, a month, or forever with her. He couldn't though; he had never been able to lie to her. He took a deep breath and squeezed her hand tightly.

"He's dead, Fi," was all that came out. He could have tried to word it more elegantly, make it sound somehow better, but there was no point in that, so he just laid out the truth, plain and simple.

She was taken aback for just a moment. She sucked in a deep breath and let it out, letting the knowledge that she and her daughter were safe from Jimmy wash over her. Had he really come all this way, traveled God knows how many miles, how many hours, to tell her this to her face? She was glad that Jimmy was dead, knew that he deserved to die. She did not understand what he was upset about. Then, she thought about it for a moment. She knew her Filip, and knew that it wasn't in him to relish taking a life, no matter how evil that life was. He had done this for her, for their daughter, to make sure that they were safe, but she knew that he hadn't taken any pleasure in it, knew that he wasn't proud of it.

She put a hand on his cheek and asked, "Are you okay?"

He only response was to shrug his shoulders, which she took to mean he was really not okay. He was such a good man. She stood up straight and pressed a kiss to his lips before taking his face in her hands and telling him, as firmly as she possibly could, "Thank you. I love you, Filip."

He just nodded and felt some of the weight he had been holding leave him. She wasn't mad, she wasn't repulsed my him. She was grateful for what he did. She loved him. He just stared at her for a minute, and then just laughed. God, he was so fucking stupid.

"I thought that you would be…I don't know, Fi...mad or something. I thought you would yell at me," he admitted to her.

"Jesus, Filip," she shook her head. "How long will it take for you to understand? I'm with you. I don't give a shit about Jimmy. Good riddance. Yes, I was his for a while, but now-"

"Now you're not," he cut her off, surprising even himself with the surge of possession and protection he felt.

"Now, I'm not," she agreed, giving him a tiny, coy smile. This was the only opening he needed. He immediately stood up straighter and moved closer to her, towering over her. His tall frame had almost a foot on her slight one, making her appear even tinier and more vulnerable. He liked it.

"And now whose are you?" he asked, his voice low and demanding. Maybe it was his inner cave man coming out, but he wanted to hear her say it; wanted the words to come out of her mouth. He needed her to say that she was his. She didn't disappoint.

"Yours. Only yours, Filip," she said, without a bit of uncertainty in her voice.

His hands gripped her hips, hard, pulling them flush against his. He found his lips right outside her ear.

"Again," he insisted, his grip tightening. "Say it again."

"I'm yours, Filip. I'll say it as many times you want me to," she whispered, sounding almost breathless at this point. That was all he needed to hear.

His lips connected with hers again, literally taking her over. He found himself pressing her backwards. The first solid surface they hit happened to be the kitchen counter. He lifted her onto it with very little effort and had her shirt off in one fluid motion. His mouth was working in tandem with his hands, working to claim every part of her he could. This was not so much about love or devotion, though both were there. This was about claiming her, branding her, again and again, as his own. He knew that thoughts like these were probably setting the women's lib movement back decades, and he would make up for it later, but right now, he wanted what he wanted.

Her hands were absolutely not idle. She stripped him of his shirt in no time before going to work on his belt. He stopped her. This was his deal. He was much more concerned with getting her naked as quickly as possible, yanking her bra straps down her arms, just because he was absolute shit at actually unhooking them. His hands made their way to her pants, lifting her body to remove them, her panties trailing right along behind.

She reached for his belt again, and this time her let her. Her well practiced hands were steady as she pushed his jeans down over his hips, before her hands returned to his shoulders, so that she could brace herself. His lips claimed hers again as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Swallowing her gasp, without any warning or hesitation, he slammed into her.

He did not move slowly, nor was he gentle. There would be time for that later. This time, he went hard, rough, and fast. Without a doubt, they would both be wearing some bruises and blood by the time they were done. To the casual observer, not that there were any, it might look like he could be hurting her with the intensity of his passion, but her eager moans, fervent kisses, and sopping wet pussy told a different story. She trusted him, knew that he would never hurt her, and she wanted this as much as he did.

His pace was relentless, and Fiona knew that she would not last long. She loved this, was incredibly turned on by his desperate desire to mark her as his own, though Lord knew he had done that ages ago. Everybody needed reminding sometimes. She ended the kiss and leaned her head back, letting out and deep moan, knowing how he reacted to the sounds he had absolutely no trouble enticing from her. God, she loved this; loved the way he felt inside of her, and he knew it.

"Did he do this, Fiona? Did he give you what you wanted? Did he make you this wet? Could he ever make you feel this good?" he asked, not slowing his pace in the slightest, fully intending to get an answer to his childish questions. She obliged.

"No. Never. Nobody in the world could make me feel this good. Only you," she insisted, her words only half intelligible, sounding more like moans than actual speech. She tightened her hold on him.

"That's right. Only me," he told her forcefully, before latching his mouth on to the patch of skin just under her ear, making her moan all the more loudly. She both wanted him to make her come right that very second and wanted this to last forever.

Forever was not in the cards, though, as the very instant, he both applied his teeth to her neck and stepped up the pace and strength of his hips, and then she was unraveling. Her orgasm was loud, and the words coming out of her mouth made her glad that the nearest neighbor was pretty much deaf. Her nails dug into his shoulders, leaving a bloody trail of flesh in their wake. Neither of them cared at all. He didn't ease up at all, not until he was coming deep inside of her.

It was over just as quickly as it began. His bravado and need to dominate was gone. Now, he was just a run of the mill, scarred, vengeful, murderous husband, whose knees were shaking as he relaxed in his wife's arms, standing naked in a kitchen that smelled of nothing but sex. He found that he was okay with all of that. He was nothing more than exactly what he was, exactly what he always had been: a man who would do anything and everything for this woman; a man who loved her and their child more than anything.

He knew right then that he would be okay. He was here with her, right here where he wanted to be, and that was not going to change anytime soon. Their daughter was at school, learning shit she didn't think she would ever need. She would be home later, and they would hug and have dinner and be a family and maybe he would help her with her homework. He would go to bed next to his Fiona tonight, and wake up next to her in the morning. They would have days together, nights together, just plenty of _time_ together, which was wonderful, because they had a lot of lost time to make up for.

She leaned back, and held his face in her hands, looking into his eyes. She kissed him softly, before asking again, "Are you okay?"

This time, he didn't even hesitate before he nodded, "Yeah, I think I am. Love you, Fi."

"Good," came her reply. "I love you, too. Now let's go take a long, hot shower. Then we can go spring our girl from school early."

He smiled. "We should probably make sure to clean the kitchen a bit, first."

"Oh yeah," she agreed. Teasing, she added, "That's why you're here, isn't? To cook and clean?"

"Among other things," he replied.

She laughed, knowing that at that moment, she couldn't be happier. She just looked at him, smiling. She ran her hands through his hair, both of them lost in each other. His forehead rested against hers, and her fingers trailed along his scalp, until they brushed against a still raised scar on the back of his head. Knowing without having to ask that it was still tender, even months later, she gently ran her fingers over it.

"How does this feel?" she asked softly, hoping that it was better, that it would never cause him pain again.

"I would say that it has healed quite nicely. Better than I ever had any right to expect it to, actually," he told her without ever opening his eyes. Both of them were well aware that they weren't actually discussing the scar on his head, but neither of them felt the need to say it.

"Agreed. Funny, isn't it just like us to need a car bomb to knock some goddamned sense into us?" she murmured, smiling.

"Sounds about right. We've been tested by outside forces, car bombs, death, and our own stupidity. None of that has managed to keep us apart. I think it's safe to say that we are meant to be together, Love," he told her, quite seriously.

"I won't argue with you on that point," she told him, ending their conversation with another kiss.

And she didn't.


End file.
